Stadi-Mani-um

What do you do when you have an all access stadium pass for a Kenny Chesney concert? You paint your nails, of course.

All access mani

All access mani.

I inadvertently trashed my nails while getting all of the tour bus goodies for our weekend company trip to see Mr. Chesney.

The nail chipper

A perfect mani’s worst nightmare. Loading and unloading and reloading a shopping cart.

I couldn’t be caught dead with no nail polish, so as I was sauntering about the stadium I found a spot and threw some paint on my fingers.

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I’m the blob in the middle of the bleachers, performing a pre-concert mani.

Because I was in a hurry (I didn’t want to miss out on any of the fun) and this was only a temporary mani, I applied one coat of Seche Vite base coat, then tipped the ends in pink.

This six-minute paint job did the trick in covering my naked nails, making me appear all access ready.

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Thank God I always have extra polish with me – I’m sure my bare nails would have had a direct effect on Kenny’s performance.

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Mani-cation

When going on vacation, a manicure must be all gussied up, agree?  For my recent trip to Key West, I went with silver, neon pink and a tad of black.

Gaudy? Yes. Fabulous? Always.

A Captain Colada with matching flashy nails. Sigh.

A Captain Colada with matching flashy nails. Sigh.

To achieve this look use two coats of China Glaze’s Platinum Silver, followed by one thick coat of Pixi nail color in Summer Pink on the tips and a thin strip of Milani Nail Art Laquer in Black Sketch. Finish with one coat of Seche Vite top coat (the best ever in my book) for a complete vacay mani.

Beach action

Beached Nails.

Of course being back at work for a full week of work already has me wondering…

Of course being back for a full week of work has me already wondering...

Does this contain a mimosa or Bailey’s and coffee…?

I know you feel so badly for me.

Cheers!

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Confessions of a Shopaholic

The fabulous Marisa from Wear Your Vitamins tagged me in Confessions of a Shopaholic, which is a fun little cyber game of tag.

So here we go…

Do you consider yourself a shopaholic?

Oh hells to tha yes! While I lack the dough to be a bona-fide shopaholic, I love digging for a bargain on sales racks, TJ Maxx, Target and mostly my favorite department store ever, Von Maur.

Shopping the sales rack success!

Success shopping the sales rack!

How would you classify your style?

Fuchsia. Sequins. Skulls. Leopard. Gaudy. Flamboyant. Rocker. Edgy. Jeans. Heels. Flashy, not trashy (although others would probably BEG to differ).

Girls night out attire.

Girls night out attire. Express jeans, $19.99. Target top, $17.99.

Juicy Couture collared striped shirt, $34.99. Skull and crossbones patch purchased at Michael's, $2.99. You don't have to be a sewing expert to adhere spice up your wardrobe. The patch shown is an iron on and takes less than five minutes to complete!

Juicy Couture collared striped shirt, $34.99. Skull and crossbones patch purchased at Michael’s, $2.99.

Who's afraid of a sequin pant? Not me!

Who’s afraid of a sequin pant? Not me! Express pant, $24.99.

Leopard 'n' Shine

Leopard print beneath clear sequins? Um, yes please! Target dress, $34.99.

What store can you not leave without buying something from?

Target. Hands down. Whether it’s shampoo, a greeting card, a Mossimo black tank (a staple in my wardrobe) or a banana. I rarely leave without a bag (which is really doing me a favor because I need plastic bags in order to scoop Ted’s litter pan. Two birds, one stone people!).

Where do you find your best deals?

Sales, sales, sales! Macy’s, Target, Von Maur, TJ Maxx, Dillards semi-annual shoe sale.

What designer are you willing to splurge on?

It’s a three-way between Alexander McQueen, Chanel and Louis Vuitton. McQ is all about the skulls baby (I feel like the designs were sometimes created with yours truly in mind – as if). I also crave the luxury and glamour of Chanel – and received a pair of booties from my fairy god mother earlier this year (read about it, click here). And Louis…oh Louis….I ran a marathon (yes a full fucking 26.2 miles) in a bet to obtain a Louis Vuitton purse (that saga will be posted another day).

In all of their black and white patent leather shine.

Caution: May cause an extreme strut.

Do you have a go-to shopping outfit?

Jeans. Always. In the winter, my kick-ass Coach motorcycle boots (waaaaay expensive but have worn approximately 268 days per year for the last five years. Worth it!). Summer time calls for Tory Burch flops (I scored at a deep discount shoe store).

In lieu of the old fashioned shit kickers, I've opted for "I think I can kick your ass" motorcycle boots.

My alternative shit kickers.

Look cute while side stepping the pig manure!

Tory Burch flip flops, $29.99.

What is your guilty pleasure?!

I’m a beauty product whore. I love trying new things – different colored lipsticks (love MAC pigments), eye shadows (Urban Decay is my fave brand), lip gloss (just found my new love that doubles as a lip stain as well as a gloss – LIP TAR), foundations (Too Faced BB Cream is my new fave and I adore Make Up For Ever HD foundation), nail polish (OPI, China Glaze are my faves)….this list could go on for days.

LIP TAR. 100% Vegan, cruelty free and one application lasts all day. Sephora,

LIP TAR. 100% vegan, cruelty free and one application lasts all day. Sold in sets or separately at Sephora.

hd foundation

Make Up For Ever HD foundation – complexion saver!

What is the one piece of clothing you can’t live without?

Jeans. Period.

Of course leopard jeans never hurt.

Of course leopard jeans never hurt.

Who is your style icon?

Gwen Stefani – love her L.A.M.B. line.

L.A.M.B. leather wrist watch purchased years ago at TJ Maxx for $89.99.

So there are my confessions. Guilty as charged!

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Trashy Chipped Polish Trick

I loathe not having my nails painted.  But I DETEST when I have a chipped nail. The horror! It’s worse than my TV being stuck on the Public Access channel, worse than Teddy bawling to be fed at 4 am, worse than running out of Captain on a Friday night (well, let’s be real – nothing is worse than running out of Skinny Pirate ingredients).

So you can imagine my disdain when I went to snap pictures for my Mani Monday post yesterday and this happened. Before noon (and less than 24 f’ing hours after I’d labored over my mani).

Chip off the old nail?! No thanks.

Chip off the old nail?! No thanks.

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Mocking me from the keyboard!

What’s a girl to do with this travesty? Especially with after work plans?

a new version of a press on nail...and another reason I love tape

My new version of a press-on nail…and another reason I love tape.

My love affair with tape has been a long, drawn out romance (click here, here, here or here to see proof), so it was my natural go-to solution for the ugliness of a chipped nail.

rap sheet

Mug shot.

More difficult than putting a puzzle together, the Home Depot remedied manicure came out looking a lot more trailer park than anticipated.

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Which one of these is not like the other?

But, it lasted through happy hour, so I’d say it was a success, no?

help

Being the OCD manicurist that I am, the polish came off and fresh paint was applied as soon as I hit home. And the happy hour cocktails had me thinking while I was manhandling my fur ball…

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China Glaze in Lubu Heels.

Teddy’s talons could really use some flair.  Don’t you agree?

But what about painting Teddy's talons...

I’m thinking fuchsia.

I’m assuming this attempt would require tape to scrap back the pieces of my face clawed off by a pissed feline …

When in doubt, get the tape out!

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Beached Nails

While sitting high atop my plastic beach chair, I looked like I was trying to be the queen of this freshly built sandcastle.

Dig this mote.

Diggin’ this entryway.

Especially as I kept admiring my recently painted nails with new polish from the jolly man in the red suit.

Doesn't the ocean make everything look better?

Doesn’t the ocean make everything look better?

My manicure started out with the typical two colors in French mani style…

This is how first ended up

Booooring. So last year.

Not being satisfied, I decided to try my new black Milani nail art (which was new to me but old to everyone else, as it had a clearance sticker on the package).

Three times a charm.

Much more Miami ready mani.

One coat of base, followed by two coats of China Glaze’s Purple Panic Neon (this is a very cool matte color all on its own), and one thick silver coat of OPI’s DS Radiance for the tips. Once dry, I went back and ran a thin strip of black between the pink and silver with Milani’s Black Sketch and finished with one coat of Seche Vite top coat (best ever).

Triple threat.

Triple threat.

My mani dreams were rudely interrupted when some of the kids on the beach asked if I could help complete this sandcastle.

all play

Beautiful sand art meant for me to admire from afar.

I simply held my polished nails up and said, “Jewels, not tools.”

They got the point.

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