Weekend Winks – Party On!

‘Tis the season to get shitfaced…

Holly Jolly Drunk Girls

Holly jolly drunk girls.

This weekend was filled with parties galore and while I am never one to say no to an invitation, I was lucky enough to be hosting both. On Friday, our company party was once again held at the Fontanel Mansion (where Barbara Mandrell and her family used to reside). Being that she was my idol, I always feel the need to pinch myself when I get to primp in what was once her actual bathroom.


OMG! CBXB mania in Babs’ bathroom.

While fooling around at the gun range in the basement (yes, this mansion has a gun range that happens to house the four-wheeler Gretchen Wilson used in her “Redneck Woman” video), I had to photo bomb a perfectly precious picture, naturally.

Photo bomb

Mama CBXB telling me Santa is watching and I’ll be naughty listed. Whatevs.

Although I refrained from trying any of Barbara’s dresses on this year (I shoved my ass in one last year of course) I did try to swim on top of the pool that was covered in plastic.

Pool party anyone?

Pool party anyone?

While I was extremely busy being a hostess with the mostess, my twins in Iowa were taking in their first parade.

Taking their first parade extremely serious.

Taking this parading shit seriously.

And Auntie CBXB was in recovery Saturday morning as Princess B ate all of the frosting that was supposed to go on her Christmas cookie.

Cookie Monster.

A gal after my own heart.

Party prep was underway all Saturday at my mini manse as I was hosting a ladies ugly sweater party. My outfit was complete thanks to velcro and bows minutes before the start.

Side One.

Side One.

Rear view.

Rear view.

Mismatched tablecloths helped set the ugly tone.

F'ugly decor

Decor gone wild.

Thankfully my pink tinsel tree is so gaudy it can be inserted with any party theme and fit right in.

Gifts wrapped and under the pink fabulous

Ugly or fabulous? You be the judge.

The photo-op was set and ready to be manhandled by girls galore.

All dressed up with no one at home.

All dressed up with no one at home.

I forced welcomed mama CBXB to stay and party the weekend away with me.


Hostess #1 and #2.

As the shindig started, grand entrances were made by every guest.

Grand entrances were made.

The Grand Marshall of grand entrances.

Usual suspects arrived one by one to my mini manse door.

Usual suspects arrived one by one.

Loving on some First Mate.

The Queen of Jell-O shots was sure everyone had a chance to consume one (or 12) of the gelatinous goodness.

Jell-O shots at the ready.

Don’t let her sweet smile fool you – you WILL be taking a Jell-O shot whether you like it or not.

My favorite male made an appearance to snoop be our designated photographer.

Dada CBXB made an appearance to be our photographer.

Dad never fails to make a party more fun.

Pretty sure he also came so that I could serve him Easy Cheese straight from the can.

Easy does it.

Easy does it.

You know at a party full of women a few selfies were snapped.

Selfie 1,892,391

Selfie 1,892,391 of the evening.

And photos of selfies were also captured.

Selfie x 2.

We can’t get enough of ourselves.

A party of mine isn’t complete without a contest and the winner of the ugliest outfit showed up in a cat vest accompanied by a Teddy Bear pin. So this outfit winning was a no brainer. Well that and she looked truly heinous thanks to her threads.

Ugliest outfit contest winner. Fellow sizzle reel.

My sizzle reel gal pal takes home the top prize.

All in all one fabulously festive evening with some of the best gals on the planet.

All in all a fabulously ugly night with the ladies!

I wish we knew how to have fun.

I do have a feeling that my grape martinis ended up making some of my friends feel stupendous on Sunday morning…

Hello Sunday. I hate you.

Hello Sunday. I hate you.

But luckily for me, I recovered with the best breakfast a hungover gal could ask for…Easy Cheese.

Brunch 'n' munch.

Brunch ‘n’ munch.

Here’s hoping you have a party or two to attend this holiday season. If not, I’ll be giving you tips on how to throw your own ugly sweater soiree tomorrow.




Weekend Winks – Blitzened Style

Who me party?

I jingled ’til I jangled.

‘Tis the season to get blitzened and that’s just what happened in the fabulous city of Nashville this past weekend.

Friday night kicked off at Fontanel MansionBarbara Mandrell’s (my own personal idol – like I cried in the grocery store when I saw her idol) former 27,000 square foot log cabin.

Living room

Gorgeously decorated gigantic mansion.

I took it upon myself to visit every single nook and cranny of Babs’ former house, where many of the family’s photos, furniture and keepsakes remain on display.

Holy shit!

Bathing in Barbara’s tub. Jealous?

Because I’m not well versed in climbing in and out of tubs while wearing four-inch heels, I nearly fell and broke my neck trying to remove myself. Thank God this plant was around to help.


Life saving Philodendron.

After having my existence preserved by a plant, I sat down and touched up my makeup in a bathroom made of mirrors (no wonder this chick is my idol).

Holy shit!

Multi-tasking at its finest.

Hello? Yes. I'm very busy being fabulous.

Hello? Yes. I’m very busy being fabulous.

And to further solidify that my idol should be my idol, I found a framed picture of Barbara and her cat. At Christmas. Be still my beating heart.

Here kitty...kitty....kitty....

Here kitty…kitty….kitty….

After my exhausting lavatory experience, I had to lay down on Barbara’s actual bed.

So tired.

Absorbing all things Mandrell.

Wonder what rich people do with their indoor pools when they host a party? Cover it up and put tables on it.

Pool party.

Pool party.

Taking full advantage of a sparkly (yes! I said sparkly) black couch was a must. If this piece of furniture would have fit in my purse, I’d have taken it.


This picture does no justice to the sparkle.

There was about 83 Christmas trees throughout the house and I took it upon myself to shake every single gift under the lit lovelies.

For moi? You shouldn't have. But I'm so glad you did.

For moi? You shouldn’t have. But I’m so glad you did.

And as the boozing continued on into the wee hours, the stuffed teddy bears got kinda…well…

Inappropriate Teddys.

Naughty listed bears.

What does one do after attending a party on Friday night?

Host a ladies cocktail party at her own mini manse on Saturday. Duh.

Ladies night...oh what a night.

Ladies night…oh what a night.

No party of mine is complete without my

What party is complete without Jell-O shots? Not mine, that’s for damn sure!

As you can see below, First Mate is daintily eating her Jell-O, while this classy broad almost swallowed my own fist to get it down the hatch more quickly.

Double dosing with First Mate.

Double dosing.

A preggo lady partied hard with the assistance of whipped cream.

Whipped and pregnant

Yep. This is how pregnant ladies roll in Nashville. Hard core!

When it’s time to shut down the party (you know, at 2am) and a house guest suggests setting an alarm for 8 in the morning, a wrestling match for the phone is a must.


NO ALARMS or I will body slam you.

And with visions of kitty plums dancing in his head, Ted snuggled down in his favorite kind of bed. Made out of tissue.

Closing time for Ted...at 3am.

Party hosting is hard.

So while I should have taken a cue from the great Bear and snoozed a little more this weekend, my lack of shut-eye is making a Tuesday feel like it should be Friday already…

…but I can sleep when I’m dead. There’s fun to be had, people!



Weekend Winks

Oh the holidays are here – with Nashville weekend parties of good cheer!

First a “Come as your favorite Tennessean” shin dig.  I went as The King of Rock’n’Roll (in the latter, bloated, bedazzled jumpsuit wearing days).

As Elvis

Elvis and the not so graceful karate pose.

What party is complete without vodka soaked gummy bears?

Reba gets gummied.

An ’80s Reba McEntire gets gummied.

A ladle was used instead of a regular spoon (way too small) for proper vodka bear consumption.

A ladle was used instead of a regular spoon (way too small) for proper vodka bear consumption.

A little recovery with my Bear before heading out to a holiday pot luck on Saturday.

My Christmas Bear and his holiday bowl. Yes, even Ted likes his space decorated for Christmas.

My Christmas Bear and his holiday bowl. Yes, even Ted likes his space decorated for Christmas.

A festive looking Shit Dip for my pot luck appetizer.

For my blog famous Shit Dip recipe, click here.

To get the blog famous Shit Dip recipe, click here.

And of course festive accessories always complete an outfit – even if you have to partially remove a boot to reveal.

I heart Santa all the way down to my socks.

I heart Santa all the way down to my socks.

A host with the most bedazzled my Skinny Skull cocktails.

A green straw, yellow deer, turquoise monkey and fuchsia stirrer made me easily guzzle my cocktails.

A green straw, yellow deer, turquoise monkey and fuchsia stirrer made one hell of a festive drink that I was more than happy to guzzle.

After a few cocktails, the kitchen seemed so bland for a party. Therefore we moved it into the hostess’s newly renovated closet.

Party time photo shoot in the closet after a few rounds of Fireball. Makes sense, doesn't it?

Party time photo shoot in the closet after a few rounds of Fireball. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

Living in Nashville, you never know what star will appear to crash the party.

Nashville's version of KISS member Paul Stanley showed up in the wee hours of the pot luck.

Nashville’s version of KISS member Paul Stanley showed up in the wee hours of the party toting an oh-so-fabulous Louis Vuitton.

And speaking of appearances, the host of the potluck purchased this very lovely snowman sweater off a party-goer at my Christmas party last year.  It was used as chair decor Saturday evening.

The warmest holiday sweater around.

How could you live without this sweater? You don’t. You just get drunk and buy it off of a fellow guest’s back.

And after all of the overindulging on Friday and Saturday, I could only muster a walk to my couch in my leopard onesie for Sunday lazies with Ted.

All this gal could do on Sunday was lay around in my Cray Cray Cat Lady pjs.

Cray Cray Cat Lady lingerie is perfect when nursing a weekend full of fun.

And now, resting up for next week’s parties galore.

Oh the woes of this Captain’s life.