Multi-screens in the mini manse, shit dip, moonshine and a brand new throne made this weekend divine.
After what felt like a year-long week, Saturday morning came a little too early after a little bit of boozing on Friday night.
I also got my ass handed to me by Princess B – you know, my fact checker for this blog.
She couldn’t stop herself from giving editorial notes while admiring herself on the small screen.
After enduring the creative notes from my niece, I hustled to get ready for the weekly tailgate my folks and I have each Saturday.
Our tasty treats also included my gal pal Katie B’s infamous shit dip. It consists of corn, cream cheese and butter. And it tastes like heaven in your mouth.
And requires a side of toilet paper.
Anyone else have Comcast as their cable provider? Anyone else want to tell Comcast to suck shit?
On Saturday morning, TV the guide listed either my Iowa Hawkeye game or the Penn State game was going to air.
I checked online for the TV listings. No luck.
I called and talked to three different Comcast departments for over an hour with three of the same answers…
“We’re sorry, we can’t tell you what will air.”
How in the hell can the cable provider not know what they’re going to show? How? HOW?
Sure enough, kick-off time rolled around and the Penn State game appeared on TV in the Nashville area. So we turned my mini manse into a multi-screened viewing area with the help of my lap top and live streaming.
During the TV shenanigans, New Cat became a man whore.
Not one to miss out on any action, Teddy gave his own version of a lap dance.
Although we had to squint to watch our game, touchdowns still required our family tradition of moonshine shots.
The halftime show consisted of a pussy trying to commit suicide, another unable to feign any emotion for the suicidal cat and a grandpa oblivious to either scene taking place around him.
During the second half of the game New New got so handsy with Gpa that he didn’t want to share, giving anyone that came close a death stare.
I spent the rest of the third in the bathroom due to my copious amounts of my fave dip.
It was a good thing I’d eaten my weight in corn, as two touchdown and a victory shot waited for me in the fourth quarter.
Which made the rest of the afternoon feel like…
And copious amount of moonshine may or may not be why my masterpiece of a pizza turned out like this for supper…
Sunday found me admiring my Miami Mini Me’s newest hair accessory.
And what could be more ah-mah-zing than being gifted my very own throne on a lazy afternoon?
While I was careful to use only my wrist to wave so as not to jiggle my arm fat, this one sprawled out on his throne with a jiggly belly proudly exposed.
From our thrones to yours, here’s hoping your week is off to a fabulous start!