You ever wake up and just want to give up on your appearance? Showing up for work, having your co-workers talk behind your back about what a trashtacular turn for the worst your looks have taken?
OK, so I don’t generally go in public decked out like a dork. But I do often wake up longing for hair that magically grows a light blonde out of my scalp (instead, I have to visit my magician every six weeks) therefore alleviating the need for me to wash my hair every.single.day. If I miss a shampoo, I look like I have taken Crisco to my roots by noon.
How does one cover up the trashiness growing from her mane? Remedies I’ve found…
#1. The Snooki
Requirements: two barrettes. This overall style saves me 25 minutes of hair time in the morning.
#2. The Bang
When I was bitching at work regarding my hair care, a girl turned around and said, “Just wash your bangs in the morning.” Well DUH!
Requirements: shampoo and blow dryer. This version of clean hair saves me 20 minutes of primping.
#3. The Bret Michaels
Requirement: scarf (and no ponytail the day/night before). This is the ultimate time saver, as I can truly get up, tie a scarf and go (but I have to remember to pack a Sharpie marker in my purse for all of the autographs I’m asked to sign while sporting this style).
#4. The Bun Day
I just recently tried this technique while at the beach over the holidays. So it was an accidental greasy hair cover-up. When I appeared at work with a knot on my head one dude said “rough night last night?” while another asked if I was a dancer. Seriously.
Requirements: scrunchie (yes. I said a scrunchie – I’m too cheap to buy the bun sponge helper thing. But it doesn’t count as a scrunchie in public if you can’t see it. Ok? OK?!) and bobby pins.
Now you’ll know when I’m between salon visits – if you can even recognize me in all of my “I -swear-I-don’t-live-in-a-house-on-wheels-although-you’d-never-know-it-with-my-three-inches-of-visible-dark-roots” various, incognito giddy ups.