How to Throw Down at a Christening

Prior to witnessing the baptism of your twin niece and nephew, it’s important that they start the day happy.

Rise and Shine!

Rise and Shine!

It’s also equally important to fill up on bottles of adult beverages in preparation for a Christening celebration (that, and the fact that you didn’t start on fire upon entering a church).

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Baptism of twins equals twice the party fun!

Be sure to add personal touches in decorating by displaying pics of those near and dear holding the babies.

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Can you spot CBXB sticking out like a sore thumb?

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My sister, the mother of infant twins, also finds time to create art with all of her spare time.

Food is essential when celebrating babies being dunked in holy water, so have a nice spread.

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Sweets, sandwiches and salads…oh my!

Play kissy face with one of the guests-of-honor when she refuses to go down for a nap (not wanting to miss out on any of the fun…taking after Auntie CBXB!).

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Future social butterfly.

Keep the cocktails flowing with an open bar, new mom and tasty beverages.

Keep the cocktails flowing

Pour me another, please!

Have a camera in hand at all times to catch each and every second of the day drinking celebration (you’re doing it for the babies, of course).

Turn into a tourist

Turn into a tourist in your sister’s home.

All of the photo snapping will make you very thirsty, leading to a case of the double fists.

Double fist in honor of twins...you know a drink for each.

I did this in honor of twins…you know a drink for each.

Force your dad to try drinks unknown to him (which would be anything other than Natty Light and Taaka (rot gut) vodka).

Force feed martinis

Force feed martinis.

Once the party is fully underway, keep the chips and dip within an arm’s reach so as not to starve due to over consumption of wine. Or beer. Or vodka. Or Captain.

Be sure to have the chips and dip CLOSE

Rehydrating with sodium filled potato chips and the best dip ever Anderson Erickson French Onion (one of the best things in Iowa!).

To further the celebration, break out the cigars!

Get out the cigars

Don’t usually smoke? Have a cigar anyhow.

Partaking in cigars when one usually doesn’t smoke leads to the party clock striking midnight and lights out…almost immediately.

Snooze your brains out.

My bed buddy. Not affected by the cigar smoke but clearly happy the party is over.

One can try to sleep the Christening party off the next morning but sometimes you forget that babies get up at the ass crack of dawn. No. Matter. What.

Party pooped out .... well at least I am.

Party pooped out …. well at least I am.

And excitedly remember that babies also tend to only sleep, eat and shit the rest of the day. Score!

Just like her Auntie CBXB

Trying to be just like her Auntie CBXB with a sleep mask. Love!

And that folks is how you thrown down at a Christening.

Bless your heart.

CBXB

CBXB!

Weekend Winks – Godmother Style

What happens when you are tapped to be a Godmother? You document every. single. second.

Cray cray photo lady

Cray cray photo lady…double fisting cameras.

While my folks and I were putting the pedal to the metal to get to Iowa as fast as our Nashville rears could go, my sweet niece and nephew, B & B were anxiously awaiting our arrival (well that and their bottles – but really us).

Patiently waiting....are they here yet??

Are they here yet??

While our 2am arrival had the twins fast asleep, my always trusty bed buddy was ready for some full on snuggle action.  I will say it was a cozy bed with my mother, myself and my dogphew Gunner.

Bed buddy

My tiny bed buddy.

Bushy tailed and anything from bright-eyed on Saturday am, I introduced B to what will most certainly be a life lasting love. Tiffany & Co.

It's never too early to start the love of the little blue box now, is it?

It’s never too early to start the love of the little blue box now, is it?

The jewelry excitement made little B hungry and gave her mom a chance to bomb one of the best of the photo bombers around (click here to read about my expertise). Moi.

The seasoned photo bomber that I am...got photo bombed

I got got!

Further solidifying a bond with my god-daughter, I introduced her to gaudy jewelry that she quickly became attached to – a gal after my own heart!

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. An easy lesson!

To calm her down after taking the diamond ring chew toy away, we watched ourselves on reverse camera. Again – a girl after my own heart…

I heart me

We heart ourselves.

My nephew was rather busy acting like a Southern red neck in his camouflage pants accompanied by no shirt.

Southern style baby

Southern style baby.

Not wanting to be left out, Gunner tried his best to act like a lap dog.

Lap dog

Role playing a chihuahua. So tiny.

In celebration of all things Godly, we found a beer by Evil Twin brewing that I will now be serving at every party below the Mason Dixon Line due to its appropriate moniker…

Even More Jesus. 'Nuff said.

Even More Jesus. ‘Nuff said.

While others sipped on beer, I guzzled my bro-in-law’s cucumber martinis.

Cucumber martini...

Two cucumber slices honoring twins!

All of the ‘tinis made me sleepy and I was happy to snuggle with little B before putting her to bed.

Snuggle time!

Sleeping beauties. Well, at least one of us anyhow.

Sunday morning found my sister’s living room in need of a dust, so I kindly obliged.

Yes. I always wear a dress when I house clean.

Yes. I always wear a dress when I clean house. Don’t you?

Upon wearing holy water and a seersucker suit (it’s a sea sucker suit if you ask my sister), B decided it was rough being the center of attention during church.  Therefore, he found it necessary to pass out in the pew.

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No wonder the song’s called “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.”

But B was ready to par-tay after arriving home and greeting well-wishing guests.

How can you not smile when seeing this photo?

Giggly charmer.

With a nine-hour drive behind me, I arrived to my house with this greeting Monday evening…

Last ditch attempt with a strong paw

Where the hell have you been?!

I have a feeling I will be paying for my short Iowa trip for the rest of this week (as I kicked my Tuesday off at 4:47am due to my growling, howling bear).

Wish me luck – I’m going to need it.

CBXB

CBXB!