Lazy Lasagna

I am no gourmet chef. I’m not really even close to being called a cook (although I do own some cute aprons in which I like to prance around my kitchen).

Being beyond lazy, I almost always enjoy a nice bowl of cereal for supper. But every once in a while I get a hankering for ‘real’ food and one of my “specialties” is bland, non-exciting lasagna.  Whipping it up for company not only makes me seem kinda domestic, it typically knocks the socks of my food companions, as I’m not offering them just wine and sliced cheese.

Underwhelming cooking at its finest. Although when presented on a skull and crossbones plate (which is my fine china), it really ups the ante, yes?

Here’s what you’ll need for this easy peasy Italian dish that will cost you around $10:

1 box no boil lasagna noodles (I use gluten-free but any will do)

1 small carton of cottage cheese

1 package of shredded mozzarella cheese

2 jars of your favorite spaghetti sauce

1 pound of lean beef (your choice of meat or meat substitute)

Gluten-free lasagna at its blandest.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and then fry your choice of meat in a skillet.

Instead of a slicing a fresh onion (takes too much time, makes my mascara run, etc…) I shake in some dried minced onion to spruce up the meat while it’s browning. You can also choose to add green peppers, mushroom, spinach, etc…but you know that takes more time, effort and money (plus adds flavors in which I don’t love…being from the Midwest, I’m all about bland food!).

No need to cry in the kitchen with already minced onion.

Once the meat is done grab a baking dish and coat with cooking spray. You’ll create three layers and start with the spaghetti sauce, meat, cottage cheese, noodles, sauce again and mozzarella.

Non-tedious layering process.

The second and third layers are the same as the first.

The “secret” weapon in my lazy lasagna is the using more sauce than needed. Leftovers are never dried out!

Stick the concoction in the oven for 45 minutes.  I typically cover in foil for about 25 minutes, then remove the remainder of the baking time so the top layer of cheese can brown.

Ooey, gooey Italian goodness.

And what good is lasagna without bread accompanying its appearance on a plate?  My favorite gluten-free baguette bread is Against the Grain. While it’s a little pricey ($7 for two loaves), it tastes as close to the real deal as any other brand I’ve tried.

The splurge is worth it.

In about an hour, you’ll end up with a low-fat, gluten-free, bland, easy, company pleasing dish.

Of course this lasagna is served with a very large bottle of wine. Duh.

I never tell anyone this is gluten-free until after they’ve consumed and no one ever knows the difference!

Bon appetite my lazy cooks!

CBXB

Skinny Salad

I leave for Key West in three weeks. Therefore, I feel the need to shed the extra winter pounds I gain every year when I go into hibernation (and somehow get glowing, tan skin without having to burn myself in a tanning bed so as not to blend in with the clouds as I frolic on the beach).

I was just introduced to this salad from a pseudo paleo (this salad includes cheese) diet follower and was impressed enough to recreate on my own.

Greens are good for you – but still I wish this was a plate full of french fries, I’m not gonna lie.

Here’s what you’ll need…

Olive oil

Red wine vinegar

Greens of your choice

Salt and pepper to taste

Shaved or shredded parmesan cheese

Any other veggie that you fancy – I’m just plain Jane girl and keep it simple (I also don’t like to dirty anymore dishes than I have to, as I don’t have a dishwasher. Lazy party of one!).

Protein of your choice (again, I’m too lazy).

Holy healthy ingredients! Not a typical site in my kitchen.

Simply combine 1/4 cup of olive oil and two tablespoons of the red wine vinegar (you can add more or less to your liking).  Add a generous amount of pepper to the mix and then a sprinkle of salt.

Who knew you could make your own salad dressing? Not this blonde.

Once I prepped the salad in all of five minutes, Ted came racing into the kitchen announcing his presence and needing to see what the hell I was doing in there (as I never do much of anything but pour cocktails in the kitchen).

No fish? No thanks!

This gluten-free, guilt free, low carb, low-cost (once you have the ingredients, you just need to buy greens) salad will have you coming back for more. Cats? Not so much.

Now here’s hoping I don’t get too sick of this salad I’m calling supper for the next few weeks. Cross your fingers for me (and my pasty white non-bathing suit ready ass) as I pair this salad with a fat glass of pinot grigio (wine really helps extra LBs melt off your hips, right?!)

CBXB

Sexy Skinny Spaghetti

Looking to wow the pants off your Valentine? Or maybe just a way to stay in your skinny jeans?

Avoid the bloated feeling that often comes with traditional pasta by substituting noodles with spaghetti squash.  I thought this was a ridiculous idea (how could a vegetable taste like pasta?!) until I tried it for the first time (I loathe change).

Skinny Sketti

You will need a spaghetti squash, choice of meat (if desired) and your favorite Italian sauce (I use bottled – but low sodium!).

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Microwave the squash for about a minute.  This will make it loads easier to cut and save your hand strength for opening that tightly sealed jar of sauce (let’s be real, I would never make from scratch).

Once cut, scoop the seeds out of the middle (if you forget this step (as I almost ALWAYS do) you can remove after cooking – no worries).

Hold on tight because the squash is slippery!

Once seeds have been removed, place halves on a cooking sheet.  Bake for 45 minutes to an hour, depending on the size of your gourd.

Use a fork to create ‘spaghetti’ noodles.

I can make four meals out of one large spaghetti squash (thus not having to cook all week. Score!).

Typically, I add FreeBird chicken breast strips that can be found at Whole Foods (low in sodium and calories) but I’ve also used turkey meatballs and lean ground beef in my sauce.

Mix sauce and cooked meat, bring to a boil.

Serve immediately with or without cheese (due to the non-pasta spaghetti, I treat myself with a handful of mozzarella on top).

Use reduced fat cheese to keep it on the ‘skinny’ side.

This cheesy version of sexy spaghetti will cost $10 (more or less depending on the meat) has about 260 calories, 20 carbs and 11 grams of sugar overall.

Now get out there in all your skinny glory and seduce someone.

CBXB

Eat Shit and Die Guac

I promise you really won’t die – but you may think you will because this dip is that good.

The ex-boyfriend dip.

So here’s the skinny on my friend Coco’s award winning “Eat Shit and Die Guac,” (she actually entitled it “I just broke up with my boyfriend, please send me to the beach guacamole,” years ago and won a trip to the beach. Thank God for ex-boyfriends.  She’s just nicer about her wording than I am about past loves, hence the guac’s new moniker).

Dip hardware:
· 6 ripe avocados (soft to the touch)
· juice from 2-3 limes (I substituted with lime juice because I’m cheap and easy)
· 1 large tomato, seeds and pulp removed, diced
· 1 serrano chili, minced (I didn’t know what this kind of pepper was exactly, but it was labeled at the grocery. Phew)
· 1/2 a red onion, minced
· 3/4 cup chopped cilantro
· 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt (or regular salt)
· a few turns of freshly ground black pepper
· 1/2 teaspoon cumin (Coco says this is the secret weapon)

This yields about four cups.  Plenty for a small crowd to snack on.

First cut the avocados in half.

Remove the pits and place avocados into a large bowl. Mine were so ripe and mushy, I was able to spoon them out.

Squeeze lime juice (authentic or duplicated) over the avocado. Mix well.  This will help the dip from browning.

Add the rest of the ingredients to the potion. Mix.

Taste and add more lime juice, onion and cilantro if desired.

Best served fresh but if you have leftovers (which you won’t), cover with plastic wrap directly touching the surface of the guac. Refrigerate.

This gluten-free dip will cost you about $11 including tortilla chips (if you get the $2 bag). The avocados will be the priciest portion (I paid $1.20 each) but well worth the outcome.  I secretly thanked Coco’s ex-boyfriend every time my overloaded chip hit my lips. And you will too.

CBXB

Skinny Sauerkraut

Two ingredients.

Twenty minutes.

Tasty Tuesday.

Skinny Sauerkraut

My girlfriend Court introduced me to this simple, cheap, flavorful dish.  While I’m telling you it’s easy (it really is), I lack cooking wisdom and still had to ask her for direction (yes this only involves two ingredients and one pan – I’m blaming it on my blonde brain), so proceed with caution.

Here’s what you’ll need for this kitchen masterpiece:

Store brand sauerkraut, $1.69. Butterball turkey sausage, $2.50 for two large links.

You can half the recipe if you’re preparing for one because both uncooked ingredients keep well in the fridge for a few days.  If you cook it all at once for larger serving size, the leftovers refrigerate well (I just reheated mine for lunch).

To prepare, add the sauerkraut in a large skillet over medium heat.

Drain the kraut before placing into the skillet for less mess.

Let this heat a few minutes before adding the sliced turkey sausage.

Cook about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.

A featherless $2 feast.

Skinny Sauerkraut is gluten-free, has about 100 calories, 6 grams of fat and 5 carbs per serving. So you’d better go back for seconds.

CBXB