Weekend Winks – Gunslingin’ Style

Friday nights call for good times at my favorite Nashville watering hole, Dalts.  With a little help from my First Mate and her hubs Mr. Mate we made sure our livers were nicely saturated.

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Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name…

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Enjoying the best Skinny Pirates in town, while toasting a big cheers to Papa Ottorino.

Mr. Mate gifted me a birthday present (yes, my birthday was in March…yes, I accept presents all year round) that will come in handy while at the shooting range (to learn about my lunch time, redneck shenanigans, click here).

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Pink sunglasses, ear plugs and ear phones. Love.

Of course it made sense to try my new accessories on immediately and look like an asshole at the bar.

What? I can't hear you.

What? I can’t hear you.

Also making perfect sense was holding a 20 minute photo shoot, displaying my new giddy up.

Ear condems

My fancy new ear condoms.

Don't mess with CBXB

Don’t mess with CBXB (especially after a few Skinny Pirates).

Gunslingers

Tough lookin’ gunslingers, huh?

I caught Teddy in his own cocktails when I returned home.

But unlike his mother he detests being photographed while slurping.

Doesn't like to be interrupted while slurping

GAWD MOM! Enough already.

Saturday morning found Ted and I cozied up in bed so snuggly, that we couldn’t get up and were forced to watch hours of TV.

Snuggle time

TB’s favorite nook.

Leave me alone!

And cranny.

We were interrupted by a string of texts featuring my folks, who manage to somehow cram every corner of Home Depot in my dad’s teeny, tiny clown car (seriously – the man is 6’4″ and we’ve dubbed his ride “The Fred Flintstone Mobile” because he his knees are practically up to his ears when he drives – and if he really needed to, Dad could break through the car floor and move the vehicle with his feet). Except on Saturday, my folks weren’t Fred and Wilma.  They were Tarzan and Jane squeezing a tree, four bags of mulch, flower-pot and a bird feeder into a car that appears no bigger than a go-kart.

Tarzan

Tarzan – trying to see through the windshield.

and Jane...

And Jane…acting as the ‘eyes’ on the way home.

I also received a few pictures via text from Iowa. Apparently, my niece is taking after her Auntie…

Ruffles make my butt look big? I said she takes after her Auntie CBXB

Do ruffles make my butt look big?

My nephew is almost to cool for the crib as he rocks a pair of skinny jeans (which I’m sure he’ll be killing his mother over (and me, too for posting on a blog), while posing so sweetly.

Chillin' in skinnies...he needs to move to East Nashville, since he's such a hipster.

This kid needs to move to East Nashville, since he’s such a hipster.

After forcing my lazy rear out of bed, I went for a run in the beautiful 80 degree, non-humid day.

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Then I rewarded my efforts with cocktails on the patio wing of my mini manse.

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Every mile merits a Skinny Pirate. Right?

Sunday found a belated Mother’s Day outing for CBXB’s Mama.

Like mother, like daughter!

Like mother, like daughter!

A Bellini or a Mimosa? Why not both?

Bottomless...

Double the cheers!

And who else wanted to join in the celebration of my mom? Well, Leonardo DiCaprio, of course.

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You have yourself a sparkly day Mama CBXB!

He may have been toasting his love, Daisy during the moving The Great Gatsby but girls can dream, can’t they?

CBXB

CBXB!

How to Snuggle in a Tour Bus Bunk

Getting cozy in any bunk bed can be tricky but squeezing two bodies into a tour bunk seemed impossible this past weekend (although I know it’s not.  I’ve heard stories. I know babies have been created the tiny space. And we found a condom wrapper in one bunk from a previous trip – eewww, gross!).

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Small spaces are apparently  fun places.

The bus I rode on for my company trip to see Kenny Chesney had 12 bunks for our sleeping pleasure (although I think I spent roughly five hours in my fun space the two nights we were on the bus).

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12 beds. But I think it could “sleep” 24…

The slim hallway to the back bus lounge was surrounded by three bunks high by four bunks long.

Sleepy Hallway

Sleepy hallway.

For complete privacy in your bunk, you simply shut the non-soundproof curtain (I suggest bringing ear phones, ear plugs or your own pillow to put over your head if noise bothers you).

Tunnel of bunks

Tunnel of bunks.

There was plenty of room for me (an almost 5’5″ gal) to stretch out comfortably.

Room for one almost 5'5" person.

This is the life…

And if I wasn’t so concerned on missing out on any of the shenanigans taking place in the front lounge, I might have watched a movie on the drop down DVD player in my snuggle cave.

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No time for movies! There were Skinny Pirates to drink and Truth or Dare to be played!

Being that I’m so tall and not limber in the slightest, I chose a bunk on the top (naturally) and ungracefully hoisted myself up there time and time again. There’s no ladder, no step, no ‘oh shit’ handles while trying to climb in and out of the bed. So once I had my clumsy ass in the bunk, it made sense to get the full on experience of a duo between the sheets.

I hope I don't have to go pee.

I hope I don’t have to go pee.

Enter my gal pal C. She is an experienced tour lady and sauntered up to the top bunk like she was a ballerina (she didn’t see my entrance, thankfully).

Two's kinda a crowd

Two’s a cozy crowd.

While seeing the allure of sharing a bunk if not wanting to get one single moment of sleep, C and I decided after 46 seconds of snuggling that we’d probably be more cozy in our own love caves on wheels.  But if you really want to mingle in a single, be sure you’ve brushed your teeth (or are drunk and don’t care), shaved your legs (because there’s no way legs will not be intertwining) wear minimal clothing (this space will become a hot box once you grace it with your presence – let alone two bodies) and be prepared to snuggle your brains out.

Don't ask why I have a Santa hat and beard on.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

As Santa would say, the more the merrier.

CBXB

CBXB!