Game Changers

For everyone there are moments in our lives that epitomize time – where we will never forget the time, the place, the exact feeling.  I’m not talking about the life changers – births, space shuttles exploding, wedding days or the likes of presidential assassinations. Rather, the smaller instances you don’t realize the significance of what you’re experiencing and the way it will shape the days ahead.

Like the occasion it was presented that life as a ballerina wasn’t on the table.

Maybe not ballet....

Step ball changing my way through elementary.

Or maybe the time you realized Christina Aguilera was not singing about you in her hit song “Genie in a Bottle.”

No belly dancing...

Anyone got a magic carpet?

Could be when you realized you not only lacked the tact but also the appropriate attire for becoming a super model.

I see London I see France I see above your underpants.

I see London
I see France
I see above your underpants.

Khakis look good on a runway.

Bitch, please.

Said no one ever.

Remember when you saw your first concert and it inspired you to be a rock star?

Judo chop!

You either have it or you don’t. This Elvis doesn’t.

Maybe the time you had the first bite of your now favorite delicatessen, you knew nothing else would ever taste this good.

Taste bud changer. Don't judge my classiness of food choice.

Taste bud changer.
Don’t judge my classiness of food choice.

Or was it when you realized that the art of watching a collegiate football game would never again be a dull time if you add in some Skinny Pirates and moonshine?!

College football changer.

College football changer.

Possibly being educated about where feminine products are appropriately placed turned your world into a real life Monopoly board game.

Womanhood changer.

#SOS

Recently I found myself  in a downtown Nashville community building that is still all but deserted of anything reminiscent past the ’80s. I sat alone and waited impatiently for my name to be called so that I could further discuss the bad shit that happens to good people.  My leg was inadvertently bouncing so hysterically that the lone security guard came over to ask me if I was OK.

GAME CHANGER.

MOTHER FUCKING GAME CHANGER.

It was in that split second that my game changed.

I can’t help what happened to me. I can’t change the way I feel about this situation. I can’t help the sleepless nights, the not wanting to be alone with my thoughts, the shame I still experience. But I CAN do something about it.

So from this day forward, my uniform is permanently on.

Pads are on.

Bring it.

My blingy armour will remain in tact.

Armour is in tact.

Let’s do this.

I mean, it is fabulous.

I mean, it is fabulous.

I’m rounding up the biggest posse I can wrangle.

Rounding up the posse. You in?

You in?

And this tasty treat will be on the menu at my next mini manse party.

Mmmm... I'll have some of that.

Mmm…my favorite.

Who wants to play with me?
CBXB

CBXB!

Weekend Winks – Cougar Style

A little honky tonkin’, hockey and hootenanny in Nashville this weekend….

After a few happy hour Skinny Pirates, I headed to the hockey game – and you know that meant a little bathroom bartending…

Don't tell I'm up to no good.

Thank God alcohol kills germs, right? Right?!

My Nashville Predators beat the Edmonton Oilers 6-0. Yeehaw!

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Welcome to Smashville!

Saturday greeted me with a package from my blogging gal pal, Nicola from Nail Art For Funn.  She sent so many goodies from Korea, I can hardly wait to try all of the fun on my weekly Sunday night nail nights!

While out and about with visiting family, I came across an ancient artifact – my uncle’s phone.

Ancient history

Yes, it still works.

Saturday evening led to family fun night at my favorite Nashville honky tonk, Robert’s Western World.  I re-created my Hardee’s modeling bit (click here to read about my first time) while eating the oh-so-delicious burger…

Hardee's burger model, take 2.

Hardee’s burger model, take 2.

I ran into (OK, minorly stalked if I’m being honest here) the fastest playing fiddler in all of Tennessee, Joshua Hedley.

My favorite fiddle player

Cowboy Josh and a crazy fan.

And what to my wondering ears did appear but a 17-year-old guitar player full of good cheer.

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This kid rocks.

While I don’t typically pine for guys younger than yours truly, I couldn’t help but swoon over this kick ass pickin’ kid, promptly turning into a cougar.

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On the prowl – look out!

All of the Saturday night shenanigans led to a Sunday morning full of sunglasses and snuggling.

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Yes. I needed the shades that badly.

Upon recovery, I headed back downtown with my family to see downtown Nashville in the daylight, where I set my sights on the most wonderful thing imaginable…a bar on wheels.  All you have to do is pedal while drinking to cruise the streets (I of course would need to sit on someone’s lap while they pedaled for me – I’m a high heel (and obviously high maintenance) wearin’ boozer).

Drink and pedal.

Drinking + pedaling = no cocktail calories counted.

A little BBQ action at Rippy’s for my endlessly starving 14-year-old cousin, C-dawg. Seriously, this kid talks about food as much as I rant and rave about Ted.

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Feed me….again!

And remember me as a spitting image of Elvis?  I so badly wanted to keep the costume in order to continually prance around as The King but the upkeep of a white jumpsuit would be a nightmare.

As Elvis

Hunka hunka burnin’ …. love?

But I found the next best thing at a shop downtown –

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PJs perfect for prancing around!

Guess what you’ll be seeing on this blog in the near future?

CBXB

CBXB!

ELVIS! LAY ME!

I meant lei me. Well, my mom actually meant it.

This past weekend, Mom (partner in many trashtacular crimes) and I were lucky enough to see the fabulous ELVIS LIVES show that made a tour stop in Bowling Green, KY.  As usual I tend to really class up the joint, so here goes —

As soon as we arrived, I had to race up the balcony stairs to capture the crowd I would be sitting among. Me, Mom and 75-year-olds (which didn’t hurt my ego).

white hair

When we tried to enter the theater, I insisted that these two guest passes were our tickets. Turns out, it was another CBXB blonde moment. I was overly excited and didn’t look deep into crevices of the letter envelope I was handed at Will Call. So smart.

yeah yeah

I SWEAR these are our tickets. Seriously!

While sauntering into the theater, I couldn’t believe my eyes at all of the chic attire.

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Elvis Lives! As a purse.

And what about this full on purple sequins jacket with matching pants?

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Is this me in 50 years?

Speaking of attire, look at this gold sparkly jacket with bedazzled cuffs and collar that I wanted to rip of Elvis’s body!

gold

As the show went on, I was getting a lifelong Elvis commentary by my mom…

“Oh! This was the first time I saw him on TV!”

“AH! This was the first time I saw him in concert!”

Audible gasp – “Blue Hawaii is when I fell in love with Elvis.”

So, when Elvis walked out in Hawaiian attire, I dared mom to shout “lay me!”

C'mon just scream it!

Mom chickened out. (Probably because she didn’t want the 83-year-old sitting beside her to have a heart attack).

Then, I fell in love with Elvis as a scarf was placed around his neck.

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Who needs a lei, when you can get a silk scarf?!

Thank God I wore proper shoes to run down the aisle to get the aforementioned scarf asfastasIcould. Someone even complimented me on my wind sprint (which was a highly regarded compliment, since I’m more of a distance runner – and by runner, I mean jogger).

Do you like my running shoes?

I only ended up majorly out of breath from my 45 foot sprint, although I got up close and personal with The King.

Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love

Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Love

My thoughts then turned to Ted, as a larger-than-life disco ball spun around the stage, creating shadows and moving lights extraordinaire.

ted

Teddy’s version of Disneyland.

My at-home version for the ball of fur.

A sparkle a day, keeps the heartache at bay!

A mix of sequins and sun = one highly entertained cat.

Once the show was over, we used our guest passes to go backstage.  I immediately found a microphone and promptly began interviewing any and everyone in sight.

oh yes...

Putting my journalism degree to good use.

Then I turned into Teddy and got completely distracted trying to figure out how to put this gigantic disco ball in my purse…

need

The BIG moment arrived when two of the four Elvis impersonators came out to say hello. I kept it professional.

Cheese

Keeping my cool.

My mom on the other hand turned into a mauler.

Squeeze me tight, Elvis!

Squeeze me tight, Elvis!

And again – look at her hand!

Burnin' love

Taking the cue from Mom, I felt the need to try to snuggle up to one of the two Kings.

Lay your head on me.

Lay your head on me.

Mom and I snuck away to go to the bathroom, where we “stumbled” upon the Elvis dressing room.

Elvis was here!

Elvis was here!

I of course had to sneak in a picture.  My mom was so worried we’d get caught she forgot to hold the camera steady.

Steady hand Mom

Shaky handed Mom.

When I reminded her that she didn’t see the real Elvis, she took a deep breath and got the second picture with more ease.

Ta-Dah!

On our way out, I spotted what was my equivalent to a winning PowerBall lottery ticket. THE WARDROBE CASE.

Jackpot!

Jackpot!

Hurry and take the picture before security throws us out!

Elvis and I have a lot in common

But make sure it’s not blurry, Mom!

I think I need the belt to complete my jumpsuit look…

As Elvis

What do you think?

I didn’t realize how much I had in common with Elvis until the show.  We both love all things gaudy, shiny and sparkly – quite possibly a perfect match.

Too bad he’s dead.

CBXB

CBXB!

Weekend Winks – Auntie Style!

Fabulous and exciting news from Nashville this weekend!

Proudly introducing the long-awaited, swift arrival of our newest Iowa family members – making me a first time Aunt and Teddy a cousin (which gives him a new nickname CT – Cousin Ted)!

Biggest gifts ever!

BEST. GIFTS. EVER.

While soaking in our family’s fabulous Friday arrivals, my mom and I added to the adrenaline by traveling to see the ELVIS LIVES show in Kentucky.

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Go see this! On tour now (click here for dates and tickets).

And while I think I might have been the youngest concert-goer (putting extra pep in my high heeled step) in the theater, Elvis had love for all of the white-haired worshipers in the audience.

Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love

Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Love

And while I was screaming at Elvis to give me one of his damn scarves, my mini-me was getting excited to go see Justin Bieber in Miami!

My little mini-me is a Beliber for sure!

A Beliber for sure!

Saturday led to a little ribbing of my longtime friend, Riq, who turned the big 5-0.

The

Nice necklace, huh?

I found my favorite party-goer in about 3 seconds flat.

cat bond

Opie and I bonded (don’t tell Teddy!).

Running into a hungry, hungry hippo forced me to white knuckle my wine.

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Thank God hippo teeth aren’t shark sharp.

I further admired a magnet, left for me on my desk at work this week. Wonder why?

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Do you think that this should read 1st glass and 2nd glass, since my wine glasses hold entire bottles of wine?

Sunday morning I hiked calories away, so I could justify lunch at my personal Cheers (favorite menu item is a Skinny Pirate).

lunch

Mimosa specials on Sundays!

Teddy bathed on a sequin bag while I watched the SAG Awards and wrapped goodies for my niece and nephew.

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Who needs bubbles when you have sparkle?

And speaking of sparkle, one of my Iowa besties found this delight on the floor of a store. I now want this on every entryway in my mini-manse and on each stair leading up to my front door. Too much?

love

Holla!

Hey, did I mention I became an Auntie on Friday?!

Any high chair or monitor advice (motion, video, just audio) for the new parents?

I can’t wait to get my hands on them next weekend!

Enjoy a fun day Monday!

Auntie CBXB

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Weekend Winks

Oh the holidays are here – with Nashville weekend parties of good cheer!

First a “Come as your favorite Tennessean” shin dig.  I went as The King of Rock’n’Roll (in the latter, bloated, bedazzled jumpsuit wearing days).

As Elvis

Elvis and the not so graceful karate pose.

What party is complete without vodka soaked gummy bears?

Reba gets gummied.

An ’80s Reba McEntire gets gummied.

A ladle was used instead of a regular spoon (way too small) for proper vodka bear consumption.

A ladle was used instead of a regular spoon (way too small) for proper vodka bear consumption.

A little recovery with my Bear before heading out to a holiday pot luck on Saturday.

My Christmas Bear and his holiday bowl. Yes, even Ted likes his space decorated for Christmas.

My Christmas Bear and his holiday bowl. Yes, even Ted likes his space decorated for Christmas.

A festive looking Shit Dip for my pot luck appetizer.

For my blog famous Shit Dip recipe, click here.

To get the blog famous Shit Dip recipe, click here.

And of course festive accessories always complete an outfit – even if you have to partially remove a boot to reveal.

I heart Santa all the way down to my socks.

I heart Santa all the way down to my socks.

A host with the most bedazzled my Skinny Skull cocktails.

A green straw, yellow deer, turquoise monkey and fuchsia stirrer made me easily guzzle my cocktails.

A green straw, yellow deer, turquoise monkey and fuchsia stirrer made one hell of a festive drink that I was more than happy to guzzle.

After a few cocktails, the kitchen seemed so bland for a party. Therefore we moved it into the hostess’s newly renovated closet.

Party time photo shoot in the closet after a few rounds of Fireball. Makes sense, doesn't it?

Party time photo shoot in the closet after a few rounds of Fireball. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

Living in Nashville, you never know what star will appear to crash the party.

Nashville's version of KISS member Paul Stanley showed up in the wee hours of the pot luck.

Nashville’s version of KISS member Paul Stanley showed up in the wee hours of the party toting an oh-so-fabulous Louis Vuitton.

And speaking of appearances, the host of the potluck purchased this very lovely snowman sweater off a party-goer at my Christmas party last year.  It was used as chair decor Saturday evening.

The warmest holiday sweater around.

How could you live without this sweater? You don’t. You just get drunk and buy it off of a fellow guest’s back.

And after all of the overindulging on Friday and Saturday, I could only muster a walk to my couch in my leopard onesie for Sunday lazies with Ted.

All this gal could do on Sunday was lay around in my Cray Cray Cat Lady pjs.

Cray Cray Cat Lady lingerie is perfect when nursing a weekend full of fun.

And now, resting up for next week’s parties galore.

Oh the woes of this Captain’s life.

CBXB

Elvis Lives!

Well, he’s alive and kickin’ in Nashville anyway.

The mini-me version of the rock’n’roll King, Elvis.

When I first glanced at this picture of my friend Whit’s adorable tyke, it almost made me want to procreate (I said almost, so pick your jaw up off the floor people!). Then the clock ticked past that second, I took a long sip of my Skinny Pirate and I decided these photos were too good to keep to myself.

Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Love

With his suspicious mind, Teddy practically pounced down my throat when sensing I had a moment’s weakness with a twinge for a mini-Elvis of my own. And to keep the playing field even, I will crazy cat lady out on you (for Ted’s sake, of course).

To win my fur baby back, I reminded him that Elvis had song entitled Teddy Bear.  And then I sang it to him. But of course I had to tweak the lyrics a tad.

“Baby let me be around you every night. Run my fingers through you fur (Elvis said hair but who’s keeping track?) and cuddle you real tight.”

And with that, my Teddy decided to love me tender again.  Who needs the world’s cutest mini-Elvis when you’ve got a lovin’ Teddy Bear?

Not this crazy cat lady (much to Ted’s delight).

CBXB