Do These Boots Make My Calves Look Fat?

Why yes, yes they do.

Living in Nashville the closest department store we have that could be called semi-chic would be our teeny, tiny Nordstrom. While visiting Miami, I got giddy (like leave nose and finger prints on the outside glass window giddy) as I perused the luxury stores at the Bal Harbor Shops.  When I sat down to try on upscale (compared to my Nine West usuals) boots, I felt like Cinderella getting to try on fancy footwear I drool over online.

After about three seconds, I found my fairy tale boots.

Oh yeah. I’m in Bal Harbor, pawing every boot in sight!

Oh the highly coveted red soles….sigh.

Then I slid my foot in, expecting for my life to be suddenly transformed when I zipped them up and strut about the store. And that’s when the storybook magic abruptly stopped.

The life changing moment.

And, my life was transformed. I discovered I had fat calves from f’ing running up Nashville hills and these boots would only zip for a rich, skinny calf. Now I was the ugly step sister, not Cinderella.

Look how far the zipper is from closing!

The clock didn’t even need to strike midnight before my boot dreams were dashed.

Turning to pumpkins before my very eyes!

But never fear, my ultra generous Fairy Godmother appeared! And after a wave of her wand, I was gifted these fabulous, non-calf-discriminating boots (which are beyond gorgeous and way more my speed than the knee-high (or what I call hooker) boots)!

Thank God my ankles are skinny!

And poof!  I was transformed into the Belle of Chanel.

Now how do I ration calories from my calves?

Seriously. How?

CBXB

Cray Cray Chanel Lady

Everyone wishes for a Fairy Godmother (FGM).  Just so happens that I’m lucky enough to have one!

One of my bestie bloggers, Enchanted Seashells (who hilariously called me out in one of her posts yesterday – click here for a must read!) has a gorge Chanel purse.  When she spoke about it on her blog,  I could hardly wait for her to show the goods (and then turn green with envy) when she got her bag.  So when she caught wind of what I received, I told her I’d share, too!

And courtesy of my FGM (who’s celebrating her birthday today!), here’s what recently appeared at my front door step…..Swoon. Sigh. Squeal!

The Mother of all boxes.

Most normal women dream of a white dress and a wedding aisle in order to sprint down to a groom.  Not me.  I’ve often dreamed about obtaining a luxury shoe and slipping it on my foot – comparable to a Cinderella moment.  Or maybe a Pretty Woman moment (without the prostitute part and all).

Bootie bags!

And out of the box, the most beautiful Chanel booties appeared.

Hello Lovah!

My friend P suggested that I get a shadow box in order to display them because they really are that gorgeous AND foot ‘art’.  Of course, I want to bedazzle a frame to put in my closet allowing them to ‘hang’ while they’re off-duty (which will be very minimal).

Shine on!

Who would have thought interlocking C’s could fill a gal with glee?!

Yeah, that’s Chanel, bitch.

So now my evenings consist of hurrying home from work, laying on the kitchen floor with my legs over my head taking pictures (exciting life, I know) of my oh-so-fabulous patent leather Chanel booties.

Lookin’ good outside of my laundry wing.

And then I prance around my mini-manse in my vintage (it was my mom’s in college) tuxedo T-shirt (so dressy) and booties, like any sane person would do.  A fancy brand of boots can up the class of any outfit but it apparently doesn’t guarantee adding class to the gal.

So am I now a Cray Cray Chanel Lady as well as a Crazy Cat Lady?

Even Teddy is enamoured with my new kicks.

Paws off!

Chanel inspected, Teddy approved.  Of course he approved – I’ve groomed him well.

CCheers to my FGM! (yes the double C was on purpose).

CBXB