It’s just one of the best sayings out there, isn’t it?
I am an equal opportunity wine lover. Aside from the too sweet Rieslings and Moscato, I have yet to meet a vino in which I can’t start a friendly relationship.
The love affair started when I was looking for something to
guzzle sip during weeknights that didn’t have caffeine and save overindulging of my Skinny Pirates for weekends.
Get the fuck out.
Just kidding. You can stay and sip a non-alcoholic beverage. Just be prepared for me to sweetly
demand request you to be my bartender walking back and forth to the fridge for my refills.
I fell so hard for wine that when I was cooped up for days during a Nashville snow storm a few years ago, I walked two miles to the nearest liquor store for…
a) something to do
b) I wanted to use my snow boots
c) I NEEDED BOOZE
Being that I’m the EEOC of wines, I love a chardonnay or Pinot Grigio in the spring and Pinot Noir or a red blend in fall and winter. And I love all of them in a bath full of bubbles.
Thing is, I’m not a super fancy wine drinker. While I can surely appreciate a fabulously fine wine, I also have an adoration for wine that comes in boxes because it holds four bottles and costs $20.
Sister CBXB on the other hand is much more of a connoisseur of wine. Like, has been to Napa Valley and sent cases back expert. She introduced me to Rosé during one of my trips back to Iowa.
I fell in love. Hard.
So upon my return home, when I saw a specialty bottle of Nashville Predators Rosé on the shelf of my fave liquor store, Reds, this past spring I sprung into action and made an unusual purchase of a $20 bottle. ONE bottle.
It was delish. As I have found there are obviously different variations on the kinds of Rosé and some are way too sweet. So I was schooled that I liked dry Rosé or a sparkling brut Rosé. It’s crisp and the perfect pick for a summer day. Or night. Or both.
So when I was going in to get my weekly box of wine, I almost fell out of my stilettos when I saw that my favorite brand of cardboard wine had a Rosé. A DRY ROSÉ.
It’s basically been my summer hydration station since then.
Um, I have cats that drink wine, too. Although don’t tell any of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills that I serve it out of a margarita glass to the pussies.
I’ve done some converting to peeps that normally wouldn’t gravitate toward the pink wine. I brought a box over to First Mate’s one night and as she skeptically took a sip, it didn’t take more than the evening for the box to drain.
Scooby and I often have texting dates while “sharing” a glass of the divine wine.
Dada CBXB, who typically partakes in rot gut vodka, has also hopped on the party train and might as well be the fucking conductor.
No one I’d rather turn out like at 90 years of age than my fabulously fun party-her-pants off great Aunt Marge (one time she brought a bottle of champagne to Christmas, drank the entire bottle and then asked, “who drank all that?”), who also indulges in the pink stuff.
There was a little hesitation from Mama CBXB but no worries, I shoved the straw down her throat.
But honestly, the icing on the cake comes from none other than Princess B, my mini me.
There’s been many a time that I’ve thought I couldn’t have birthed my niece any better myself. I feel like I’m watching a tiny version of moi live her best life as she is deeply in love with sequins, having her nails painted, whipping her flair for dramatics out any chance she gets – oh, and she knows all of the names of my four pussies.
So when this text rolled in, I couldn’t wait to see what the fuck she was up to now.
I WAS DRINKING ROSÉ WHEN THE VIDEO ROLLED IN. I’m contacting Bota Box to see if they need a new spokeswoman.
If you need me to corrupt your children, please let me know. I’m just a glass of wine or Skinny Pirate away. Always happy to help, I am.
Now go Rosé all day.