Weekend Winks – Party On!

‘Tis the season to get shitfaced…

Holly jolly drunk girls.

This weekend was filled with parties galore and while I am never one to say no to an invitation, I was lucky enough to be hosting both. On Friday, our company party was once again held at the Fontanel Mansion (where Barbara Mandrell and her family used to reside). Being that she was my idol, I always feel the need to pinch myself when I get to primp in what was once her actual bathroom.

OMG! CBXB mania in Babs’ bathroom.

While fooling around at the gun range in the basement (yes, this mansion has a gun range that happens to house the four-wheeler Gretchen Wilson used in her “Redneck Woman” video), I had to photo bomb a perfectly precious picture, naturally.

Mama CBXB telling me Santa is watching and I’ll be naughty listed. Whatevs.

Although I refrained from trying any of Barbara’s dresses on this year (I shoved my ass in one last year of course) I did try to swim on top of the pool that was covered in plastic.

Pool party anyone?

While I was extremely busy being a hostess with the mostess, my twins in Iowa were taking in their first parade.

Taking this parading shit seriously.

And Auntie CBXB was in recovery Saturday morning as Princess B ate all of the frosting that was supposed to go on her Christmas cookie.

A gal after my own heart.

Party prep was underway all Saturday at my mini manse as I was hosting a ladies ugly sweater party. My outfit was complete thanks to velcro and bows minutes before the start.

Side One.

Rear view.

Mismatched tablecloths helped set the ugly tone.

Decor gone wild.

Thankfully my pink tinsel tree is so gaudy it can be inserted with any party theme and fit right in.

Ugly or fabulous? You be the judge.

The photo-op was set and ready to be manhandled by girls galore.

All dressed up with no one at home.

I forced welcomed mama CBXB to stay and party the weekend away with me.

Hostess #1 and #2.

As the shindig started, grand entrances were made by every guest.

The Grand Marshall of grand entrances.

Usual suspects arrived one by one to my mini manse door.

Loving on some First Mate.

The Queen of Jell-O shots was sure everyone had a chance to consume one (or 12) of the gelatinous goodness.

Don’t let her sweet smile fool you – you WILL be taking a Jell-O shot whether you like it or not.

My favorite male made an appearance to snoop be our designated photographer.

Dad never fails to make a party more fun.

Pretty sure he also came so that I could serve him Easy Cheese straight from the can.

Easy does it.

You know at a party full of women a few selfies were snapped.

Selfie 1,892,391 of the evening.

And photos of selfies were also captured.

We can’t get enough of ourselves.

A party of mine isn’t complete without a contest and the winner of the ugliest outfit showed up in a cat vest accompanied by a Teddy Bear pin. So this outfit winning was a no brainer. Well that and she looked truly heinous thanks to her threads.

My sizzle reel gal pal takes home the top prize.

All in all one fabulously festive evening with some of the best gals on the planet.

I wish we knew how to have fun.

I do have a feeling that my grape martinis ended up making some of my friends feel stupendous on Sunday morning…

Hello Sunday. I hate you.

But luckily for me, I recovered with the best breakfast a hungover gal could ask for…Easy Cheese.

Brunch ‘n’ munch.

Here’s hoping you have a party or two to attend this holiday season. If not, I’ll be giving you tips on how to throw your own ugly sweater soiree tomorrow.

Cheers!
CBXB

 

Weekend Winks – Blitzened Style

I jingled ’til I jangled.

‘Tis the season to get blitzened and that’s just what happened in the fabulous city of Nashville this past weekend.

Friday night kicked off at Fontanel Mansion – Barbara Mandrell’s (my own personal idol – like I cried in the grocery store when I saw her idol) former 27,000 square foot log cabin.

Gorgeously decorated gigantic mansion.

I took it upon myself to visit every single nook and cranny of Babs’ former house, where many of the family’s photos, furniture and keepsakes remain on display.

Bathing in Barbara’s tub. Jealous?

Because I’m not well versed in climbing in and out of tubs while wearing four-inch heels, I nearly fell and broke my neck trying to remove myself. Thank God this plant was around to help.

Life saving Philodendron.

After having my existence preserved by a plant, I sat down and touched up my makeup in a bathroom made of mirrors (no wonder this chick is my idol).

Multi-tasking at its finest.

Hello? Yes. I’m very busy being fabulous.

And to further solidify that my idol should be my idol, I found a framed picture of Barbara and her cat. At Christmas. Be still my beating heart.

Here kitty…kitty….kitty….

After my exhausting lavatory experience, I had to lay down on Barbara’s actual bed.

Absorbing all things Mandrell.

Wonder what rich people do with their indoor pools when they host a party? Cover it up and put tables on it.

Pool party.

Taking full advantage of a sparkly (yes! I said sparkly) black couch was a must. If this piece of furniture would have fit in my purse, I’d have taken it.

This picture does no justice to the sparkle.

There was about 83 Christmas trees throughout the house and I took it upon myself to shake every single gift under the lit lovelies.

For moi? You shouldn’t have. But I’m so glad you did.

And as the boozing continued on into the wee hours, the stuffed teddy bears got kinda…well…

Naughty listed bears.

What does one do after attending a party on Friday night?

Host a ladies cocktail party at her own mini manse on Saturday. Duh.

Ladies night…oh what a night.

What party is complete without Jell-O shots? Not mine, that’s for damn sure!

As you can see below, First Mate is daintily eating her Jell-O, while this classy broad almost swallowed my own fist to get it down the hatch more quickly.

Double dosing.

A preggo lady partied hard with the assistance of whipped cream.

Yep. This is how pregnant ladies roll in Nashville. Hard core!

When it’s time to shut down the party (you know, at 2am) and a house guest suggests setting an alarm for 8 in the morning, a wrestling match for the phone is a must.

NO ALARMS or I will body slam you.

And with visions of kitty plums dancing in his head, Ted snuggled down in his favorite kind of bed. Made out of tissue.

Party hosting is hard.

So while I should have taken a cue from the great Bear and snoozed a little more this weekend, my lack of shut-eye is making a Tuesday feel like it should be Friday already…

…but I can sleep when I’m dead. There’s fun to be had, people!

CBXB

Weekend Winks

Work started Friday at Fontanel Mansion  – home of my idol, Barbara Mandrell.

While most folks would be excited to see two shiny new tour buses….

Plush life.

With matching interiors in light…

or dark hues.

But not this chick. I about pissed my pants when I saw Barbara’s actual tour bus from the ’80s.

Barbara!

Pinch me!

While her decor was a bit out-of-date, I was in love…

Think anyone would notice if I moved in?

Especially when I saw her bathroom – which further solidified her idol status in my mind.

Mirror mirrors on the wall!

Working all day made me once thirsty gal and I found a new love at the after-party bar. Sweet Lucy – bourbon cream (which could also be called Heaven on Earth).

Hello Lovah.

All of the work and play Friday made for lazy recovery time the rest of the weekend.

An extra cat nap for Ted (he waits up for me to get home) – he hates when I f with his sleep schedule.

After all of the napping, I prepped little goodies for my special Valentine peeps this week.

Wrapped and ready.

Of course Teddy had to get involved.

Ted’s tissue approval.

Exerting all of the energy once again made Ted tired and me thirsty.

My Valentine.

This auntie got pics of the precious new twins.

Sweet little piggies!

And as I cleaned all day Sunday, Teddy basked in the glow of my red Valentine light.

Seeing red. Literally.

Now I just hope I can sleep this week because I have a hot date with Kid next Friday.

Hello Mr. Rock.

Too bad my date includes 15,000 other fans.

Damn it!

CBXB

How to Create a Pissy Portrait

You know those fancy paintings rich (and/or famous) people have hanging of themselves in their homes?

Well, I took it upon myself to recreate one. At least in photo form.

My mom recently accompanied me to my holiday work party at Fontanel Mansion, the former home of country superstar Barbara Mandrell   (I cried when I saw her at the grocery store like a teenage girl seeing Justin Bieber – no shit). Not only is my mom fun, she is quite the elf and party assistant, helping me look good in front of my boss man.

That, and she indulges my need for making a complete asshole out of myself in front of others (co-workers in this case).

This gorgeous mother-daughter painting by Dick Zimmerman hangs in the Fontanel Mansion dining room for visitors to ogle when touring the manse.

Barbara and her daughter, Jaime captured in a classy piece of art.

Since my company had the entire mansion for our party, I seized the opportunity to recreate my version of this painting. It only made sense (perfectly to me).

Before you view our rendition I must tell you that the serious picture expression (insert image of any model/actress/dignitary/politician) is not something the ladies in my family do well.  When I try to look ‘sexy’ in a photo, I just look plain pissed.

But regardless, here’s how our impromptu photo shoot turned out…

It was nothing but laughs as we were assisted in posing.

And then Mom started to take her role a little more seriously than I did.

I just couldn’t help myself.

And once I started laughing, I just couldn’t stop (like when you’re supposed to be quiet in yoga but somebody audibly farts and you turn into an 8-year-old and giggle ’til you cry).

This is just so f’ing funny.

But seriously.  There’s a reason my family is predispositioned to smile because when we don’t, we look like this…

Yeah. That’s right. We’re pissed at you.

Which is why I prefer my mother-daughter rendition to be remembered as this…

All smiles by a sparkly tree.

Duplicate fancy, rich people portraits at your own risk – I speak from experience.

CBXB

Weekend Winks

It’s been a whirlwind of holiday parties here in Nashville and I’ve been happy to partake!

Teddy never recovered from last weekend’s events, therefore he was bound and determined to get me to stay home by laying on my blazer as I party primped Friday night.

You’re leaving? Over my furry body.

And of course I was able to coax Ted off with a little help from my sparkling accessories with which he’s enamored.

Ho! Ho! Holiday party arm candy. Is there ever enough?

Being in charge of my company’s party, I was on hand early to help set up.

The Great Room at Fontanel Mansion.  One of about 40 rooms in Barbara Mandrell’s previous home.

Of course I took about 4,256 photos (which I will be sharing later!) but one of our party goers had a sparkle lens. YES I SAID A SPARKLE LENS!

My mom and I in all of our sparkle glory.  I need a fancy camera just so I can obtain this fabulous lens.

Working at a production company, I’m surrounded by overloads of testosterone daily. Here’s a small dose of my workplace ‘brothers.’

Just one of the guys.

And with an open bar, bruises like this are bound to be acquired.  I think the purple, green and yellow bruising just add to all of my holiday fun (just makes Christmas shopping a little more painful).

I may have stumbled down a few stairs but didn’t spill one drop of my cocktail. Talent.

Upon recovering from my Friday night shenanigans, I was off to a birthday party Saturday afternoon.

Partying with my smaller side kick, Bella Bob for her dad’s birthday.

And then a date with my 30 ounce glass of merriment. A favorite holiday glass – not only because it holds almost an entire bottle of wine but it also has quite the clever take on a Christmas song.

Oh Come Let Us Adore Me!

All Teddy could do was cat nap on Sunday and I can’t say that I blame him.

You know Ted’s tired when he puts his leg up for a belly rub.

Teddy looks how I still feel on Monday morning, sitting at work wishing it Friday at five.

Thank God the holidays only come once a year!

CBXB