What in the actual fuck 20fucking20?
Who could have predicted the surprising mess you would be? In honor of the longest, shortest, most eventful, confusing, defining, emotional, true color revealing, nothing surprises anyone anymore shitshow of a time, I’m doing a yule blog year in review. Starting with this overview, I’ll be breaking my “what-fucking-day-is-it-do-I-have-enough-toilet-paper-do-you-care-enough-about-others-to-follow-three-simple-rules-an-alarmingly-large-portion-of-Americans-are-in-a-cult-like-state-when-did-we-become-so-divided-did-that-just-really-happen-where-have-you-been-maskless-how-is-it-already-december” year down month by month in upcoming posts.
The eve of the new year, December 31, 2019…how the start of a brand new decade – let alone fresh year – felt exhilarating!
New decade prep.
The years between 2010 and 2020 were beyond rough. I started that decade leaving an emotionally and mentally taxing relationship where I wasn’t appreciated for me being me, moved in with my parents as an independent adult for almost 365 days and sandwiched in between those years, my immediate family crumbled before my eyes, I was sexually harassed at work and lost a career that took years to build, I was raped by my best friend’s boyfriend, I gained half of my pre-Rapegate bodyweight in the following four years, found myself abandoned by what I thought was a tight circle of girlfriends, the electoral college system in America yet again granted a victory to a person who didn’t win the popular vote, THE furball love of my life, Ted E. Bear (and star of this blog) passed away three weeks before I lost my Aunt Crazy Pants to fucking cancer.
Ted. Teddy Bear. Mr. Ted E. Bear. Tedstar. Teddy Krueger. How I miss you.
Fuck, during that decade I was ALWAYS ready for a motherfucking new year.
So young. So innocent. Not knowing the fuckery that was to come a knocking.
Byeeee 2014!
GTFO 2016. Worst.Year.of.My.Life.
…looking toward 2018?
You get the (literal) picture(s). Of course fabulous happenstances were included in the shit sandwich of a decade. The absolute best was the grand appearance of the two not-so-little anymore loves of my life. Sister CBXB and my BIL gifted our family with twins!
The introduction of a lifetime.
I lost my goddamned mind in 2016 after Rapegate one day at PetSmart and adopted three cats at one time.
The Pussy Posse was born that very day.
Princess Elsa Pants of the Mini Manse, Ruby Sue and Rocky.
We’ve since added three more pussies and a Pomeranian.
Fabio, Scooch, Prissy and Girlie Girl have rounded out The Pussy Posse nicely.
Yes. Yes I do realize I will be single forever and I’m OK with it. I also love candles, reading and watch The Bachelor franchise in a wedding veil I found in my dumpster. I’m just living my best life authentically, OK?
This decade, I found my true ride or die people. In person – and virtually. I’ve never “met” some of my most cherished friends who live all over the world. The outpouring of solid, lasting support after sharing my Rapegate story and its profoundly life altering aftermath is what kept me breathing and why I’m alive to type this today.
I sent out the S.O.S. and you answered in droves.
Another reason I still live and breathe is Superhero Sheila. My therapist. My literal lifesaver. We met days after I was raped and she will always be in my life. Thankful isn’t a strong enough word but then again, there isn’t one that exists to describe how grateful I am for her. I can’t take a picture of Superhero Sheila for confidentiality reasons but I named my new car after her. No. I’m not kidding.
OK, so I may be more excited about my Sheila than the actual Sheila but how many peeps can say they have a car named after them?
The excitement of a new decade dawning was cause for fabulous celebrating on my leopard couch December 31, 2019. Out with the awful old and in with all of the brand new!
It’s finally here!
Little did I know the entire world would soon collectively feel like…
The start of THE shitshow of all shitshows was just around the corner.
What kind of badassery do you think January 2020 bestowed to me? We shall soon see.
Cheers!
CBXB
Cowboys and Crossbones 