Weekend Winks- Tidbits

It’s been a minute since I have been able to post about my weekend shenanigans as I’ve had my head in the proverbial sand, trying to get my own shit together and love myself.

Loving myself fives hundred times over.

Thanks to my kick ass friends, family and followers, you’ve showered me with enough kindness and love to last a lifetime. And it’s meant the world.

Thank you from the bottom of my butt because it’s a helluva lot bigger than my heart.

Speaking of friends, an old pal from Iowa, Buffalo, blew in from Phoenix a few weeks ago and could not have come at a better time. The belly laughs, peeing of pants and long afternoon pass out naps were severely needed by this chick.

No straws left in Music City.

Dumpy, Buffalo and an Ass Clown.

You guess which one is which.

Honky tonkin’ in Nashvegas is literally like Vegas only you don’t win any money. There isn’t a chance. But you can sure blow your wad…just as Buffalo.

Cowboys and cowgirls out on the town.

What weekend of mine would be complete without jazz hands?

This man could be my soul mate.

After all of the shenanigans, this chick needed a low-key soak in a bubble bath. Since I lack a large lip around my tub, I resort to putting Precious on the shitter. She doesn’t seem to mind, since we’re still together.

Chug a dub dub while mom’s in the tub.

My other four fur babies can’t be bothered to join in any bathing fun because naturally, they sleep 22.6 hours per day.

Why did you have to use the flash, you bitch?!

Oh and those Iowa twins of mine? I’m waiting by the phone for a modeling agency to call me, as I’m dying to be their auntager. I will give Kris Jenner a run for all of her millions with these two natural beauties.

Yes, these are the two cutest kids on the fucking planet.

If the modeling doesn’t work out, there is always basketball. Especially if it’s a super girly league and Princess B is able to wear whatever the hell she wants and use a purple basketball.

Future Hall of Famers.

Speaking of kids, I’d be remiss not to speak to the horrendous mass shooting in Florida. The ongoing heartbreak of losing innocent lives, is beyond measure. And, I’ve had to question my own ideas, opinions and thoughts over the days since it’s happened.

Of course, I don’t know the answer. But I sure as shit don’t think that any kind of military grade rifle should be allowed in the hands of regular folks. Do you really need this sort of firearm to hunt? To protect your house? To shoot clay pigeons? I am no gun expert, believe me. I own a revolver and I have exactly five bullets in my mini manse and they are in my gun (for those of you who stay over at the mini, my gun gets unloaded and the bullets are housed in a separate drawer when guests arrive, so calm down). When I see people freaking the fuck out over the phrase “gun control” and being insulted by second amendment rights being taken away, I think that’s extreme. You want a gun to protect your house, fine. You want a rifle to hunt, fine. But do you need a military grade rifle to do so?

I have been reading all points of view – and yes, if someone is bananas enough, they will find away to kill people. Folks think the FBI could have done something, as they have admitted they missed two tips. I wonder though, what could they do? The kid had no record. His mother, when she was alive, notified the police of his behavior. He’d been expelled from school. He was having mental problems that were being treated. How many empty threats are made on a daily basis? Or, would this be like when you take a restraining order out to protect yourself but it does nothing?

Is this the answer? I don’t know what is – I wish I could look to those in politics who can enforce change but it’s beyond evident that I can’t. In my opinion, it’s not a Republican vs. Democrat problem. It’s an American problem that rings through every single state. I can’t imagine being a parent – let alone a fucking kid that has to practice gun shooting drills – today. It’s insane and it has to stop.

While the domination of news was focused on the Florida mass shooting (as it should be), the Olympics have also been underway and Dada CBXB and myself entered in our favorite sport. Drinking.

We trained all football season for this moment.

Speaking of moments, I still have my Christmas tree up (aka Celebration tree) and since it was pouring down on Saturday, I sat my ass on my leopard couch and got sucked into TV movies.

Redneck? White Trash? I don’t give a fuck.

Cuddled up butt to butt with my favorite snuggle pants.

A chug with a chugger.

Watching horrendously cheesy Hallmark movies (side note – it’s a dream of mine to star in one, no shit) full of you-already-know-what-the-character-is-going-to-say-before-they-say-it while falling in love and getting engaged within a week pulled at my cold, dead heart for once. I immediately called in all reinforcement.

Divorce court here I come. Crisis averted.

While I peruse Facebook as often as the next person, I have a serious love/hate relationship with the fucking memories that pop up from forever ago. Yesterday, my Aunt Crazy Pants and I celebrated nine years of social media friendship. Which was fitting because her birthday would have been this upcoming Friday, so she’s been on my mind constantly (not that she isn’t always).

Taking solace in my wine glass was quite easy because it was national drink wine day yesterday (which is every day for me but since it was a nationally recognized holiday, who am I not to overly partake?!).

OH. MY. GOD. BECKY. It’s an every day for us.

Good thing I have wine glasses that hold entire bottles of wine while I plot how to take over the universe.

Cheers to all of the tidbits in your life. Now go pour a heart healthy glass of vino.

Captain’s orders.

CBXB

Who Needs Hallmark?

Ah, Valentine’s Day.  So many ways to say you care.  All kinds of ways to rack up $42.00 buying cards.

Skip Hallmark this year and make your own keepsake for anyone that you love (or kinda like).

Minnie Pearl + Reba + Dolly Crockett +  Elvis = LOVE.

Hosting a recent party, I needed decor but couldn’t spend a small fortune sprucing up my mini manse. I decided that favors masked as decor would be the perfect productions for the party and double as Valentine’s Day treats for my girlfriends.

What you’ll need:

Plain wooden frames you can find at any craft store.

Acrylic paint of your choice.

One piece of scrapbook paper per frame.

Modge Podge (a crafty gal’s BFF)

Small sponge brush

Frames, Michael’s. $1.00 per each.

To begin, lay down a plastic covering (not paper – trust me on this) over your work space.

Trace outline of the frames onto the decorative paper.

Lay the frame down flat and tear along the edges (a ruler can be used in place of the frame when tearing).  The middle can be tricky and I typically cut slants with scisscors to get a section started.

Set paper aside and paint the frames (I use gloves so as not to mess up the mani! Jewels, not tools. OK?).  One thick coat of paint typically does the trick for me because I tend to choose bright colors.  I only paint the front and sides of the wood but you could do the back as well (I have no patience, as it takes longer).

Once the paint is completely dry, put one thin coat of Modge Podge on the front of the frame.

Carefully lay the paper onto the frame, starting from the center (this will help alleviate air bubbles) and press down firmly in small circles.

Once the paper is in position, add another coat of Modge Podge (I use the one with a little glitter, of course) over the entire frame, sealing in all of your hard work.

Have your frame expert carefully inspect your masterpiece.

Once frames are completely dry, insert a favorite photo.  Then let friends bask in the glory of their one-of-a-kind artwork (or maybe that’s you basking in your glory of frame making. Whatever).

Party decor!

Who needs a Hallmark card when you can have a $3 frame labored in love?

CBXB

Little House of Horrors

I am a decorating fanatic. Like, I want to get my Halloween decorations out on August 1st enthusiast. I’ve had larger living spaces in the past, complete with mantles, stairways and built-in bookshelves.  Now that I have down-sized, I can’t cram all of my holiday decor into 700 square feet (well, I could but you’d be calling Hoarders).

Happy HallowThanksmas! Stocking up on Halloween craft essentials while perusing the Christmas trees at Home Depot. Heaven!

I’ve become a little more creative (hence the spray paint above) in spooking up my minimal space. Here’s a glimpse at my attempts to transform my place into a miniature house of horrors…

I stuff crazy ex-boyfriends in the freezer with a little help from Hallmark.

I have a freezer and I’m not afraid to use it.

Moveable Decorations, $5.00.

I  continuously switch out seasonal candles on my entertainment center.

This is candle stays put all year round, of course. A gift from The Label.

A flameless ferocious feline (Ted’s favorite decoration). Battery powered candle, TJ Maxx, $3.99.

Having a small space doesn’t mean you can’t decorate with big pieces (at least for me it doesn’t. Especially when they involve glitter. Then my motto becomes the bigger the better…).

Glitterlicious.

Letters, $20 for the set, Hallmark.

A square-cut hurricane candle holder sits on my coffee table that I update with holiday decor.

Tri-colored skulls. $9.99, TJ Maxx.

If only the orange skulls were pink…I could leave out all year!

I invested in this green glitter (do you sense a theme here?) tree that I can use for multiple holidays (can’t wait to add pink decor to it for Christmas!).

Green glitter tree, Hallmark.

I use wine charms as Halloween ‘ornaments.’

Switching out an existing picture frame with holiday decor is easy (as long as you have somewhere to stash the usual pic…which is almost always under my bed).

Swapped this glitter witch piece out with everyday crown decor in my bathroom. This was gifted to me by my sister but I think she most likely scored it at TJ Maxx.

Helpful Halloween to-do tips (in case you forgot) replaces regular kitchen decor.

A cheap, easy way to spruce up for the holiday season. Hand towels, Target.

Candles are always a must for me (I mean, I do have a cat – don’t they go hand in hand?) and this haunted house holder makes my vanity trio complete.

Wicked frame, Hallmark. Candle holder, Bath & Body Works. Skull and crossbones jewelry plate, gift.

Now you know how I sneak some of holiday decor into my mini-manse and I’m sure you think it’s fabulous, right? If you don’t, I’ll be happy to show you my freezer…

CBXB