Weekend Winks – Snoop Dogg, Fang Fingers and Flat Tires

When a gal pal wants to treat you to a night out for a belated birthday par-tay, why in the world would you say no? Of course we know I said yes, especially when the evening involved a Snoop Dogg concert. I was especially excited to escape from my reality after some particularly bad news came my way last week. A girl’s night out was just what this chick needed.

I over packed and lugged my beauty bag, taking over Funk 49’s kitchen counter to gussy up for a rainy night out in Nashville.

Yes, my bag of beauty tricks includes alcohol. Doesn’t yours?

Known for my booblegging skills at public events where liquor is priced like it’s solid gold, the glass below may or may not be Pepsi.

Sneaky sneaky.

The night was so full of fun that I forgot what a shit show my life has been for the past 24 months.

Problems? What problems?

After the concert, I didn’t want the night to end so I borrowed my Uber driver’s coffee on the way back to Funk 49’s house for a little perk me up.

Don’t worry. We gave him five stars – and I gave him back his coffee.

We kicked off our rainboots and did what ever girl party does after an evening out – ordered two pizzas for three ladies.

Hubba Hubba.

Upon stuffing my pie hole with at least 1.5 of the pizzas, I tried to coax Funk 49’s dog, Buddy, to lay with me in his bed…I don’t know why he seemed so annoyed.

My version of doggy style.

So I settled for a little downtime the following day with my own puppy Presh.

Prescription sunglasses are the only way to go when rehydrating on a Saturday morning.

While I was hunkered down in my Princess and the Pea bed, the Iowa twins were stuck inside for a third day in a row due to rain storms. So what did my genius sis do? She turned the garage into a bike bonanza for four-year-olds.

Rec room.

The Nashville Predators are in the NHL playoffs and my crew settled in for the third game of the series against the St. Louis Blues. Rocky, Princess Elsa Pants and Ted proved three times a charm, as the Preds skated their way to a 3-1 victory.

Fang Fingers.

I nestled into a Sunday full of job searching, #girlbossing, therapy homework, with a side of Glamour.

Sunday Funday.

No weekend would be complete without an evening full of leopard couch time with Ted – who now has his own personal shadow named Elsa Pants.

Forced Sunday snuggles – with extreme patience.

I found out that my first furry friend in Nashville crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge last night. Caesar was my constant companion when I worked as a personal assistant for a family when I first moved to Music City. He was my only “co-worker” and kept me company so many lonely nights in a new city. Love and miss you little guy.

Trying to keep the wheels from falling off my fragile state of mind, I hit the alarm early for a 7am yoga class today. But about .0005 seconds into the commute, I was t-boned in my parking lot, causing my chariot to come to an immediate halt for the time being.

No zen in sight on this Monday.

I decided it best to switch my morning coffee for something a tad stronger while on the phone with my insurance company.

A bloody mary to help ease spiked blood pressure.

So while I seem to be running into a tad of misfortunes lately, I can’t help but wonder…

I’m wide open for suggestions.




Weekend Winks – Tedstar Style

Oh how I look forward to a sunny Nashville weekend. And there’s nothing better to kick it off on Friday than with a happy hour cocktail at work…

Here! Here! Three cheers that Friday is here!

Three cheers that Friday is here!

And the cocktails continued on my party patio, much to Ted’s dismay.

Partied on the patio much to Ted's dismay. Just wants quiet time.

He just wants some peace and quiet. I mean, he is only alone 9 hours a day.

I woke up Saturday to the little furry love of my life hovering over my left ear, meowing his tiny goat-like meow (it seriously sounded like a goat screaming through a megaphone) insisting I wake up and give him some attention. At 6am.


Rise and shine. Only to go back to sleep in 30 seconds.

When I posted this pic on Twitter, the always poignant gal DallasΒ (Ted and I love her!) over at Crazy Train to Tinky Town (you really need to go and read her Honeymoon Stories – she was jilted by a serial shagger who she found out was screwing her maid-of-honor right before her wedding) called Ted a new name that is so going to stick. She called him TedSTAR. Hello! Mr. Bear is cray cray over his new nickname, because in his head, he is the most famous feline on the planet (I mean, Times Square, Jumbotrons and adoring cat fans will do that to you).

Someone had a little trouble moving and shaking after partying all night – my Goddaughter.

Taking after her Auntie CBXB...

Taking after her Auntie CBXB…

Saturday required ass crack of dawn (early for me – 8am) hot yoga, as I was trying to get home and ready for an 11am Hawkeye football kick-off. And while I accomplished that mission, at 11:01am, I realized that the channel supposed to be showing my game, decided to televise a local team instead (I love that I pay for an additional service, where I am supposed to be able to watch my Big 10 teams). I was beyond pleased.

So I did the only thing I could do. Lay at the pool and get text updates from my fam.

Decompressed by the pool with a cocktail

Hawks win!

When returning from basking in the Saturday sun, I caught someone trying to get his own tan.

Sun tanning

Achieving that darker gray by the second.

A quiet evening of cocktails, kit cat time and football made for quite the relaxing Saturday.

And after lounging the day away (not an understatement) at the pool on Sunday, a few friends asked me to join them for dinner.

So thirsty

Our version of supper included straws for appetizers and liquor for the main course.

Fun day on Sunday

White whiskey for dessert…

Is that supposed to look like dirty water?

Is that supposed to look like dirty water?

When you have whiskey for supper, after you go to the bathroom and return to your seat, the screen saver on your phone looks like this…

Screen saver

Hello Gorgeous.

I returned home to an “anxious to hit the couch because you were gone for three hours cat” who was awaiting my arrival in my front window.


Hurry the hell up! It’s time to snuggle!

And the rest of my Sunday evening went a little something like this….

Rough weekend

Rough weekend for Tedstar.

We hope your week is off to a fabulous start.




How to Take Yoga Lessons From Your Pussy

I bust my ass (quite literally) in hot yoga a few times a week. I strategically avoid knocking down my neighbor, trying to perfect a head stand (while secretly hoping no other drop of sweat but my own hits my mat -eeeeeeww!).Β  When I get antsy and know that my sweaty leg will no doubt hit some poor soul’s head, I wait until I get home to show off for Ted.

Last night after class, I came home to perfect my tri-pod head stand. Little did I know I had my own yoga master under my own roof. While I was showing Mr. Bear my moves, he yawned, made eye contact with me, holding my gaze and slid his back leg up through his two front paws. WTF?!

That's all you can do?

That’s all you can do?

Then when I asked him how in the hell he did the pose, he stretched even further by laying his head down on all three limbs. BITCH! I can barely get my forehead to my knee (he obviously doesn’t get his flexibility from me).


I’m too tired and you’re too obnoxious to show you my tricks.

When I pleaded with this show off one more time, he simply opened his eyes (I actually think I saw Teddy roll his eyes at me. AT ME!), yawned like a lion and took a nap.


I can even do this with my eyes shut. Duh.

So there’s how you get your cat to teach you yoga. You don’t.

But this has earned Ted a new nickname – Yogi Bear-a – it’s all he’d answer to last night. Diva!



Weekend Winks

A glance at the weekend shenanigans of a gal in Nashville…

Friday night date night with Ted.

A much needed class at Hot Yoga Plus Nashville. Stinky but stellar.

A surprise snail mailed post card from my buddy Riq (yes, with a Q). A nice treat all the way from Hollywood, CA.

Teddy on the lookout for our tailgating crew.

Cocktail napkins with a matching mani. Obnoxious? Yes. Fabulous? Oh hells yeah.

Trick-or-Drink! A tasty tailgating treat for spicy Skinny Pirates.

A toasty pregame fire pit.

Fellow family fans join the tailgate with a little Face Time.

Tailgating treats.

Sympathy shots for our team’s loss.

Hangover helper. Courtesy of Dalt’s Grill.

A little Bitch’n bubbly for a Sunday night Hell on Wheels marathon.

And now I’m back at it…workin’ for next weekend.