Weekend Winks – Tight Ends and Taylor Swift

Oh Nashville.

You used to be my hidden gem of a city. I’d lure people to visit because if someone didn’t like country music, they weren’t interested in coming. Nashville was never just country music and cowboys but only true peeps who lived here knew that. Now, the secret’s out. It’s been out for quite some fucking time since the overly dramatic television show Nashville hit TV screens and the last few years, one hundred people have been moving here per day, taking up precious space on my interstates (yes, the interstates here are mine and mine only) and causing housing prices to sky rocket (seriously stop moving here or I’m going to be unable to afford to live in my Mini Manse that is a 42-year-old, popcorn ceilinged, ratchety carpeted, brass hardwared apartment that has gone up in rent almost $100 per year the last three years).

After this weekend, it’s suffice to say that Nashville is a legit city. Music City hosted the NFL Draft (downtown), the Country Music Marathon (downtown), Jimmy Buffett threw a parrot head party (downtown), and Taylor Swift decided to make a surprise appearance in the city with an impromptu meet and greet at the same time regular tourists and bachelor/bachelorette parties invaded the city while regular events went on per usual.

In 2017, Nashville’s population was 691,243.

This weekend, 600,000 more people invaded the city.

A projected 340,000 people for the weekend. That number nearly doubled for the three day shenanigans in Music City.

Most folks that live here took heed from the warning below…

The traffic lights literally spelled NFL. Photo credit: Pedro Esteban Tellez.

Just because my city was inundated with NFL fans didn’t mean I wasn’t in the mood for the draft. Two Iowa tight ends were projected to be selected Round One. So naturally, I gussied up at work in support.

Tight End University, Baby!

Lucky for me, First Mate is a sports head too and she hosted a draft partay at her castle.

Do gators eat hawks or do the birds peck gators to death?

Nothing says football party like a little two boxes of rosé.

True to the projections, my Iowa Hawkeyes tight ends, T.J. Hockenson and Noah Fant were selections eight and 20 overall in the first round. The University of Iowa is the first ever to have two tight ends drafted in the first round, which is why we’re now known as Tight End University.

I’m a size medium if anyone is at Raygun in the near future.

Detroit for Hockenson.
Broncos for Fant.

Might as well have been downtown.

Or maybe we were glad we were in air conditioning.

Either way, we had such a ball that we accidentally killed two boxes of rosé.

R.I.P. Bota Boxes.

Did I mention it was Thursday night? I woke up with such confusion at First Mate’s Friday morning (because I usually stay over on a weekend), I almost lollygagged too long to make it to work on time.

As if draft day one wasn’t enough, Taylor Swift decided to grace Nashville with her presence the day she dropped her first single off of the upcoming album. Hint after hint was dropped by Swift’s camp and Swifties from all over the planet somehow figured the fuck out where she was going to be at 11am on Friday morning.

If you want to stand where Taylor is standing, this mural is in the Gulch area of Nashville.

For those of  you Swifties out here, below is a video (it’s grainy but you’ll get the gist) captured by a dude who misses nothing in Nashville and is hip to every.single.thing happening in town. Taylor apparently stayed and signed autographs and graciously took selfies for hours.

One thing most Nashvillians can unite on is our disdain for the “woohoo” girls who come down for bachelorette parties. Now of course they pay good money and stay downtown but are, quite possibly, the most annoying of all tourists. So this was an especially funny site to see.

Speaking of bachelorette parties, check out the best sign from the marathon on Saturday.

A big congrats to the 30,000+ runners who completed the half and full marathon. I’ve done both and they are hard as fuuuuuuuuuuck.

Run for the tacos. @rosepepper

Even though neither First Mate nor myself did any kind of running, we still decided we needed tacos.

So we ran to eat Mexican.

While Nashville was abuzz with all kinds of shit happening, my Iowa twins were all primped up for a wedding. It’s too bad they don’t enjoy each other’s company.

Nothing but love.

J. Crew model in the making.

Hair model in the making.

I mean fucking COME ON.

When Sunday rolled around, I was ready for some mauling by The Pussy Posse.

Rocky and Fabio have snuggling down to a science.

The newest addition Scooch, is another story.

After watching everyone stand on their feet for three days downtown, my tootsies ached for them. Of course I remedied that the best way I know.

To all those that came in for a few days, thanks for coming!

But mostly, thanks for getting the fuck out of town.

Love ya, mean it!

 

 

 

Losers Lane

Game day gulping at its finest.

So my blogging buddy Mark Bialczak and I had a virtual pinky bet last weekend, as our alma maters were going head-to-head in a college football game with the loser posting a victorious, smiling photo of the winner.

Being an overly confident ass, I just knew my Iowa Hawkeyes were going to beat some Maryland Terp tail.  When my black and yellow outfitted men scored a touchdown due to an interception in the first minutes of the game, my confidence soared.

One touchdown, one moonshine shot.

I had a hunch Mr. Mark wasn’t feeling so peppy after that turnover….

Terp tears.

My head swelled to an inconceivable size when Iowa scored a second touchdown within the first quarter making the score 14 to zip, zilch, nada.

Shine time!

But it turns out that we Hawk fans did a victory dance three quarters too soon.

Overly confident two-step.

Much to my dismay, those Terps found themselves up 21-14 in the third quarter and at that point, even Mark’s cutie of a puppy, Ellie B. got in on the cheering.

Turnaround for the Terps.

Turns out my hyped up Hawkeyes failed to rally and lost 31-38.

A sparkly thumbs down.

So without further ado, please give a big round of virtual applause to the winners of what will surely be an annual pinky bet, Mark and his dear wife Karen.

These two are too k-ute to trash talk.

Until next year….

CBXB

Weekend Winks – Bird Shit and Losing Bets

The Nashville weekend started early with a chance to go see a Beatle in all of his glory – for free!

This didn’t suck.

Taking full advantage of what our suite had to offer, waiting for Sir Paul to take the stage wasn’t difficult.

Stalking up in the suite.

Gals on a budget know what to do when presented with free food.

Double fist.

Cramming it in with class.

The concert was beyond fantastic, with Sir Paul playing for nearly three hours.

American, England and Tennessee flags flying high. See that small black one in the background? It was a pirate flag, which I assumed was for me.

Naturally I had to snap my photo with the rock star and I’m pretty sure it turned out good enough to be my Christmas card this year.

You can totally tell where I am, right?

Seems that flying on a kick ass concert high can be sucked right out of you the following afternoon when involved in a minor parking lot accident.

With someone who doesn’t speak English.

Fun times on Friday.

It did seem as if there was a small rain cloud over my head because while walking to a concert (yes, my third night in a row and yes, I’m still exhausted) I managed to get shit on by a bird. Without noticing it in my hair or my hand until I looked down to take a long guzzle of wine at the bar pre-show and then rushed to the bathroom.

Classy lady in the bar alert!

Not bullshitting about the bird shit.

When the concert finally ended (Bluegrass shows promise two acts on the ticket, then invite everyone they know to come and play a song, which can make a concert last four hours), I mosied my way back to the mini manse to find this prize waiting for me by the door…

Ted’s way of showing me he’s done being a cone head.

Ted had a bum ear last week that he wouldn’t leave alone, therefore was forced into being in an uncomfortable state (you know, because he acted like the cone weighed 500 fucking pounds).

Just trying to heal this little biatch.

It seemed like a small miracle the ear healed because every time I turned around Mr. Bear had weaseled himself out of the embarrassing accessory.

And then puked his way out of it.

Cone head no more.

Good news arrived via text on Saturday morning proving that my niece, Princess B is going to grow up and be a rock star.

Don’t worry, I’ll work on getting her a sparklier wardrobe.

It was also a big game day, as my blogging buddy Mark Bialczak’s alma mater was playing mine this weekend in college football. We had a virtual pinky bet that the loser had to post a big, smiling photo of the winner enjoying the game.

Our food was prepped.

The moonshine flowed for 31 points.

But in the end my team, the Iowa Hawkeyes were out played by the Maryland Terps and lost 31-38.

We took it pretty hard.

Loser face.

Loser post game activity.

But after we drowned in our sorrows for 30 seconds, we realized there was more football to watch, more snacks to eat and more cocktails to cuddle.

Congrats Mark!

Who says sore losers can’t be smiling? Mark’s victorious photo will be posted on the blog soon.

Enjoy your week and be careful in parking lots…

CBXB

Bring it On, You T(w)erps!

Oh what fun college football season can be!  The camaraderie, the rivalries and most definitely the smack talk.

My version of a game face with a double chin.
So tough, I know.

Being raised in Iowa, we had no (and still have no) NFL team to support. So you’re either an Iowa Hawkeye (yeehaw!) or an Iowa State Cyclone (ew, gross) and pretty much rally around your team, hoping for a conference title and possibly, a trip to one of the top college bowl games (which can feel like the Super Bowl if your teams wins – don’t judge).

Vintage proof that Iowa was at the top of their game….decades ago.

To me, nothing can really beat a college football game at my alma mater with the tailgating, the rowdy crowd, the marching band and the memories of raucous times of yesteryear (you know, like catching one hour of sleep between Friday night shenanigans and the Saturday morning shit show of a college town at 7am on game day).

“Responsibly” reliving our college days at the first Hawkeye game in Iowa City.

One of my blogging buddies, Mark Bialczak went to the University of Maryland and they just joined our conference this year – the Big Ten. Our alma maters are playing this Saturday at 11am CST on ESPN2 and with a virtual pinky swear bet, the loser must post a photo of the winner rolling around in all of their victorious glory on their blog next week.

Mark’s all smiles until the Hawks come to town…

Even though my team has the better record (Hawks are 5-1 overall with the Terps at 4-2) us Iowa fans know that anything can happen out there on the field. I ‘m in heavy prep mode as it’s no game day without a tailgate and I’m bringing out my non-secret weapons for help in the fun department.

Weapon #1 – Skinny Pirates.

Weapon #2 – Popcorn Sutton ‘moonshine’ for touchdown shots.

Because you know, my family has classy traditions like that.

Weapon #3 – Hawkeye Jell-O shot jigglers.

Weapon #4 – my lucky glass.

Weapon #5 – our typical tailgate spread.

So with full bellies and some tipsy swagger, we’ll be cheering on the Iowa Hawkeyes at my Nashville mini manse (with hopes they kick some Maryland Terrapin ass) knowing Mark and his wife will be tuning in on the East Coast.

Terps fans smiles and brews.

Nashville based Hawkeyes celebrating another seven points with a moonshine shot.

And our fingers are crossed that we do more shots than the Terps fans.

Right Dad?

He really hates scoring.

Let’s hope you see Mark’s smiling face on my blog next week….

Game on! Go Hawks!

CBXB

Weekend Winks – Hawkstar Style

Is there anything better than a weekend filled with football, booze and sun?

Friday night called for some leopard kicks and a lot (accidentally) of cocktailing.

A bit of teetering and tottering in these bad boys lead to a leisurely Saturday.

What kind of fan would I be without sporting my team’s attire? I threw on one of my fave Iowa Hawkeye t-shirts from Victoria’s Secret PINK line on Saturday as I prepared for a tailgate (well, really an ‘ingate’ as we don’t really go outside).

That’s right. I party like a Hawkstar.

Ted could have cared less about all of the pre-game prep Saturday afternoon.

Why do I spend money on cute beds for Ted when he prefers a plastic Target bag?

Being that I was in deep recovery from Friday night, I wore my prescription sunglasses all day, forgetting they were on as I went on a football food run.

Yep. I’m somebody in the spaghetti aisle. An asshole wearing sunglasses inside as a matter of fact.

The trashy touchdown tradition ingredients sat on the counter calling our name, waiting for points to be thrown up on the Hawk’s scoreboard.

C’mon touchdowns!

Tedstar, still underwhelmed at the pre-party, stayed snuggled down with his plastic.

He loves football. No, seriously.

Not even the sight and smell of the tailgating treats could muster The Bear up from his slumber.

The spread…including the my blogfamous Shit Dip (click here for recipe).

But my little kit cat could not get enough of his Grammie’s new hair product as he sniffed and sniffed and sniffed his way up one side of her head and down the other as we watched the game.

You smell so…well, let me smell you again. And again.

With a Hawkeye win of 27-21, we were feeling pretty foxy with all that moonshine pumping through our veins. That evening while asleep, I had visions of the 3.1 Phillip Lim for Target (the store is my mothership) collection dancing in my head (did anyone score anything yesterday before it sold out?).

As I sauntered to my mothership Sunday morning, I was happy to know that the love of the store has been instilled in my niece and nephew up in Iowa.

First trip to Target! Starting the red bullseye love early for B & B.

After all of the lost brain cells over the weekend, the only thing I could do was sit my ass by the pool one more time this season and watch the sun go down.

Sunday sundown.

Here’s hoping you have a fabulous week!

CBXB