Weekend Winks – Lights, Santa, Action!

The most wonderful time of the year…has been really fucking hard for me to get into the past few seasons. So in an attempt to kick-start my holiday merriment, I went to see the lights at Nashville’s Opryland Hotel on Friday. Every year, they decorate their botanical gardens with millions (or maybe thousands) of lights throughout the property.

Light show captured by @steve_zeinner.

This trip used to be tradition but I just haven’t been in the mood the last three years, so I forced the fucking spirit – even if it almost killed me. Which it did because if you take a look at the doors to your right in the photo, the platform I had to jump up to was well beyond my physical skill set. But goddamnit I got up there.

It only took 8.9 minutes for me to jump onto this platform.

The lights and music did help (along with a few martinis) rally me into the festive spirit.

While I was creating holiday mojo, my Iowa twins were gearing up to ride the Polar Express to see Santa.

Cuteness overload.

Not excited.

At all.

When they finally got to the man in red, Princess B tried putting the moves on him by holding his hand (as I’ve said before I couldn’t have birthed her better myself).

Nothing but love.

While the twins were living it up on the pseudo North Pole, I was taking the newest addition of the mini manse to the vet. For…ultra attractive, not at all disgusting worm treatment.

I had one pissed off pussy on my hands but Fabio took his butt treatment like a champ – and then we also discovered he had ear mites. Poor dude. All is well now and none of the other members of my pussy gang have contracted either squirmy, wormy ailments, thankfully.

Last week when I had family in town, a cactus that was cut from my Grandpa’s (who passed over ten years ago) was delivered to me (thank you S.S.). However, being that I have no green thumbs (pink only for me of course), it’s already turning a bit brown. How do I save it? I’ve seriously had this thing for maybe 12 days and I’m already murdering it. Anyone?

Cactus SOS.

While the spirit of any holiday has been hard to jump into, life in general has been a fucking challenge of late. And, again with friends and supporters like you, it’s all but heart exploding when I get reminders like this from you guys. These reminders always come at the perfect time.

Reminder well received Allidme.

Not sure if you guys remember but I am a huge Iowa Hawkeye football fan. A little earlier this year our mediocre team beat the shit out of a nationally ranked number five team THE Ohio State University Buckeyes whom I loathe (although, this team is the reason Dada CBXB and I started the Touchdown Shot tradition) with a score of 55-24.

And we don’t hate it.

Even though Ohio State went to win the Big Ten Conference championship on Saturday night, they were snubbed hard when the top four selections of teams came out on Sunday, being eeked out by Alabama, thanks in part to the Iowa ass kicking.

You’re welcome Bama fans.

Sorry not sorry for the cockblock of THE Ohio State University.

While running errands to put some holiday touches in the mini manse, I couldn’t believe my alcoholic eyes when I saw Target actually sold corks for decor.

I have about 429 corks around my mini if anyone wants to buy them.

Princess B acquired a cold after all of the Santa excitement. Luckily for everyone involved at her castle, she had her own remedy plan put in place.

I uncorked a bottle of vino (which brings my total to 430) and hopped in the bubbles for a long winter’s bath (even though it’s 70 degrees in Nashville).

Turns out that was an ideal move by yours truly as I sat in over an hour of traffic on a route to work that usually takes me 15 minutes.

Good thing I found this gem shopping yesterday to help with my Monday woes.

Dreams do come true.

All in all, the weekend got me festive enough to slowly start embracing the Christmas cheer.

Ready to get this holidaze shit show started.

Cheers!

CBXB

Losers Lane

Drowning in my sorrows.

Game day gulping at its finest.

So my blogging buddy Mark Bialczak and I had a virtual pinky bet last weekend, as our alma maters were going head-to-head in a college football game with the loser posting a victorious, smiling photo of the winner.

Being an overly confident ass, I just knew my Iowa Hawkeyes were going to beat some Maryland Terp tail.  When my black and yellow outfitted men scored a touchdown due to an interception in the first minutes of the game, my confidence soared.

Shine On!

One touchdown, one moonshine shot.

I had a hunch Mr. Mark wasn’t feeling so peppy after that turnover….

Not so fabulous first quarter for the Terps. Terp Tears

Terp tears.

My head swelled to an inconceivable size when Iowa scored a second touchdown within the first quarter making the score 14 to zip, zilch, nada.

Yeehaw

Shine time!

But it turns out that we Hawk fans did a victory dance three quarters too soon.

Happy dances done all too soon.

Overly confident two-step.

Much to my dismay, those Terps found themselves up 21-14 in the third quarter and at that point, even Mark’s cutie of a puppy, Ellie B. got in on the cheering.

Ellie B even got in on the turnaround cheer

Turnaround for the Terps.

Turns out my hyped up Hawkeyes failed to rally and lost 31-38.

Oh boy...thumbs down

A sparkly thumbs down.

So without further ado, please give a big round of virtual applause to the winners of what will surely be an annual pinky bet, Mark and his dear wife Karen.

Victorious! Until next year...

These two are too k-ute to trash talk.

Until next year….

CBXB

CBXB!

Bring it On, You T(w)erps!

Oh what fun college football season can be!  The camaraderie, the rivalries and most definitely the smack talk.

My version of a game face. So tough, I know.

My version of a game face with a double chin.
So tough, I know.

Being raised in Iowa, we had no (and still have no) NFL team to support. So you’re either an Iowa Hawkeye (yeehaw!) or an Iowa State Cyclone (ew, gross) and pretty much rally around your team, hoping for a conference title and possibly, a trip to one of the top college bowl games (which can feel like the Super Bowl if your teams wins – don’t judge).

Vintage proof that Iowa was at the top of their game....decades ago.

Vintage proof that Iowa was at the top of their game….decades ago.

To me, nothing can really beat a college football game at my alma mater with the tailgating, the rowdy crowd, the marching band and the memories of raucous times of yesteryear (you know, like catching one hour of sleep between Friday night shenanigans and the Saturday morning shit show of a college town at 7am on game day).

Go Hawks!

“Responsibly” reliving our college days at the first Hawkeye game in Iowa City.

One of my blogging buddies, Mark Bialczak went to the University of Maryland and they just joined our conference this year – the Big Ten. Our alma maters are playing this Saturday at 11am CST on ESPN2 and with a virtual pinky swear bet, the loser must post a photo of the winner rolling around in all of their victorious glory on their blog next week.

It's all smiles

Mark’s all smiles until the Hawks come to town…

Even though my team has the better record (Hawks are 5-1 overall with the Terps at 4-2) us Iowa fans know that anything can happen out there on the field. I ‘m in heavy prep mode as it’s no game day without a tailgate and I’m bringing out my non-secret weapons for help in the fun department.

Secret weapon #1.

Weapon #1 – Skinny Pirates.

Secret weapon #2

Weapon #2 – Popcorn Sutton ‘moonshine’ for touchdown shots.

You know, my family and their classy tradition.

Because you know, my family has classy traditions like that.

Lucky barware all set to go.

Weapon #4 – my lucky glass.

Food will be prepped and ready to go. A spread

Weapon #5 – our typical tailgate spread.

So with full bellies and some tipsy swagger, we’ll be cheering on the Iowa Hawkeyes at my Nashville mini manse (with hopes they kick some Maryland Terrapin ass) knowing Mark and his wife will be tuning in on the East Coast.

Game day smiles at first...

Terps fans smiles and brews.

Each and every 7 points acquired requires a moonshine.

Nashville based Hawkeyes celebrating another seven points with a moonshine shot.

And our fingers are crossed that we do more shots than the Terps fans.

Right Dad?

Right dad? You can tell he really hates scoring.

He really hates scoring.

Let’s hope you see Mark’s smiling face on my blog next week….

Game on! Go Hawks!

CBXB

CBXB!

Weekend Winks – Tailgates, Twins and Louis Vuitton

Hawkeye

Still Hawkeyes at heart.

A three day holiday weekend meant it was time to high tail it up to Iowa in order to see the twins, catch a little college football and finish up a birthday celebration.

These two.

Princess and Prince B awaiting my appearance.

Being that we arrived in the wee hours of Saturday morning, 8am tailgating time came a tad early for me. But I was able to rally with a glass of vodka mixed with everyone’s favorite…Capri Sun.

Kid concoction

Can you tell my friends have kids?

Excited to be in Iowa City for the first game of football season, I met up with my college bestie, Whitney Lover  (who has a once-was-white-but-now-it’s-yellow-because-it’s-so-old Whitney Houston t-shirt from the “Greatest Love of All” days that she still sports) and couldn’t wait to get my hands on her little Lady E.

Saturday morning greeting.

One of us is bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Then we headed to see the action at the tailgates with 70,000 of our closest buddies.

Tailgate

Truth.

When it comes to Whitney Lover and myself, we do nothing but up the ante of classiness wherever we go.

Uping the class ante wherever we go.

Classing up the joint with our plastic grocery bag cooler.

Feed me.

Classing it up with food choices…a foot long corn dog and ribeye on a stick.

Nuttious treats.

As well as keeping it nutricious with our classy game day picnic spread.

Watching our Iowa Hawkeyes take in a big W was a fabulous way to kick-off the football season.

But want to know what was more fabulous?

Seeing my boyfriend, Herky the Hawk roaming the streets as I stalked followed him to beg, plead ask for a photo together.  He kindly obliged my request by driving as fast as he could down the street as I tried to throw myself in front of his golf cart.

Herky!

Pretty sure Herky’s  checking my ass out, right? True love.

Naturally a victorious football team AND running into my mascot boy toy called for celebratory bubbles.

Victories taste so good.

Victories taste so good.

The rest of the weekend required partying for my ma’s birthday, as the twins couldn’t be in Nashville on her actual big day. Being that this was a milestone, we brought out the big guns with friends and family joining in on one mother of a gift.

Ooh, really?

Yep. It’s really what the box says it is.

A Louis Vuitton will now be housed among my mama’s other accessories.

Still celerbating that bday

A gift worth celebrating!

And mom had a wee bit of trouble taking her new bag back to Nashville, as Princess B wasn’t about it let it out of her sight.

Yep. She's for sure my niece.

Yep. She’s for sure my niece.

Capping the holiday weekend out with one last cocktail took all of these ingredients…

Adios.

An Adios Motherfucker is an appropriate way to wave goodbye to summer, yes?

Cheers!

We sure thought so.

Adios!

CBXB

CBXB!