Griswold Family Style Fourth of July

Driving a boat at Lake of the Ozarks…

Party Chick

…is a party girl from Tennessee.

Party Girl

As cousins gather every Fourth…

Cousins

…to be with family

The Griswolds

From Jell-O shots…

Jell-O

…with whipped cream.

Whipped Cream

Constant fights over the mic…

Mic Fight

to sing karaoke.

Karoake King

Trivial Pursuit winners, always reign supreme!

Winners!

From new tattoos…

Tattoo

…to pool dunks…

Dunk

…with drunken dancers around a hunk.

Hunk

Our favorite toy is the aqua bar…

Aqua Bar

…that prevents us from floating too far.

Floater

 I’m proud to be from my family!

Family

Where at least I can be me.

Beerpoo

And they never, ever let me forget

Just how handy my booty can be.

Handy

Cousins blowing their muscles up…

Blow Hards

…next to me

Muscles

so I won’t cry and feel left out.

Cry Baby

There ain’t no doubt I love my clan –

Clan

Thank God for my family!

Fam

Here’s hoping your version of the Griswolds has a safe and booze filled 4th.

Cheers!

CBXB

CBXB!

 

Dumb and Crazy Dumber

Folks often tell me that I act like my aunt Crazy Pants (I mean obvies, look at the jazz hands!).

The past few years for both of us have been nothing but a shit show (to put it mildly0 and she has been dealt yet another large blow in the last few days. Due to the fact that she’s spunky, with a ‘fuck this shit’ attitude (yeah, we’re waaaaay similar), reality is what it is and we’ll deal.

We could be known as Thelma and Louise (but we’re not as cool and fabulous – we wouldn’t drive off a cliff on purpose, we’d do it because we were lost and missed a turn) although we more often times resemble Lucy and Ethel (on our best days) but in reality we can most identify with Dumb and Dumber.

Crazy!

Crazy times two.

Of all of the things we have in common, we share a love of Jell-O shots which are a staple at every family gathering (classy, I know) and party I throw.

Jello Love

Jell-O shots = Love

I mean we really love the spiked gelatin.

oving Jell-O maybe a little too much.

Like really, really, really love.

Down the hatch. How many?

Especially with whipped cream.

Our consumption of Jell-O shots makes us both more limber (until we wake up the next morning and can’t move).

Jell-O makes us limber

Who doesn’t do a leg lift after a bit of J-E-L-L-O?

Hey-o! Almost to the toes!

Hey-o! Jell-O makes me stretch almost to my toes!

However, I do not ever try to do tricks with my shots of liquor. There’s too much risk that it won’t make it to my mouth, which in my mind would be a travesty.

She can shoot Jell-O with no hands!

She can shoot Jell-O with no hands!

Or can she?

But really, she can’t.

Can't. Stop. Laughing. At. Her. Or, I mean with. WITH HER.

Can’t. stop. laughing. at. Aunt Crazy Pants. Errr, I mean with. Laughing WITH HER.

Upon making sure that whipped cream was ground into my carpet (thus I will not be getting my deposit back), Aunt Crazy Pants decided to go on a path of destruction in my mini manse by taking her tipsy ass into my beloved dressing room.

Fave room in my mini manse...

What CBXB does with extra bedrooms.

This wing of my mini manse is home to my two shoe towers (and no, I still don’t have too many shoes Dad and yes folks, I do wear all of them).

Tower of Shoes

Wall of bliss.

Admiring my collection

Even Ted admires my collection daily.

All was well in my closet kingdom until this tiny bull walked into my sparkly china shop and decided to trip into one of my towers that was bolted to the wall. The shelving quickly turned into a leaning tower of shoes, as it had about six inches in between the wall and the back of the racks.

Bag of Crazy

Apparently, the whipped cream on her glasses obstructed her view.

We then had to call in Camo during our girls night in to put a temporary band aid on the problem so we wouldn’t be making any trips to the emergency room with stories of shoe boxes falling onto our heads.

Closet hero

Closet hero.

Saving the Closet

I’m a big help, I know.

Crazy Pants can kiss my ass.

Think HGTV will come calling due to my mad holding skills?

When Camo was rewarded with a beer, Aunt Crazy Pants tried to show her gratitude by mauling him.

Mauling. Part 1.

Manhandling, Part 1.

Mauling Part 2.

Manhandling Part 2.

Make it stop. No seriously, make it stop.

Make the manhandling stop. No seriously, make it stop. Somebody muzzle her.

L-Dawg came in to save the day (and Camo’s dignity) by wrangling Crazy Pants with a dish towel.

L-Dawg wrangled Crazy Pants

Making sure no more Jell-O shots spill and Aunt CP stays in her seat.

For the next eight minutes, all was good in my mini manse hood until this happened….

Down the hatch.

Down the Crazy Pant hatch.

There was no turning back once she was out of Jell-O shots, so we put a boa on her and made her dance (and we have videos to prove it).

After the finishing shots, there was no wrangling her. So we put a boa on and made her dance.

Dumb and Dumber at our dancing finest.

I’m happy to report that the mini manse is still standing. But I’m certain that’s due to the fact that Aunt Crazy Pants went home.

Although now that’s she’s home, we need good juju, fabulous magic, positive vibes, abundant karma – and for anyone who lives close enough, margaritas delivered to her house.

Cheers to Aunt Crazy Pants!

You are so loved.

CBXB

CBXB!

Star Spangled Shenanigans

Driving a boat at Lake of the Ozarks

Party Chick

Is a party girl from Tennessee

Party Girl

As cousins gather every Fourth

Cousins

To be with family

The Griswolds

From Jell-O shots

Jell-O

With whipped cream

Whipped Cream

Constant fights over the mic

Mic Fight

To sing karaoke

Karoake King

Trivial Pursuit winners, always reign supreme

Winners!

From new tattoos

Tattoo

To pool dunks

Dunk

With drunken dancers around a hunk

Hunk

Our favorite toy is the aqua bar

Aqua Bar

That prevents us from floating too far…

Floater

And I’m proud to be from my family

Family

Where at least I can be me

Beerpoo

And they never, ever let me forget

Just how handy my booty can be

Handy

Cousins blowing their muscles up

Blow Hards

Next to me

Muscles

So I won’t cry and feel left out

Cry Baby

There ain’t no doubt I love my clan

Clan

Thank God for my family!

Fam

CBXB

CBXB!

Jell-O Shot Jigglers

Jiggle while you wiggle.

Jiggle while you wiggle.

So, I almost had a heart attack of sorts when perusing the aisles of my fave grocery store in Iowa a few weeks ago when laying my eyes on a box that not only boasted my fave college team, it also contained a mold kit for Jell-O. I almost knocked the entire display down (as well as the few people in my way) trying to get over to this genius in a box merchandise.

Genius in a box.

No one was hurt in the purchase of this Jell-O Jigglers Mold Kit.

Why, it’s just Jell-O in a form resembling my alma mater you say?

To you, yes.

To me, no.

As I am a lover of all things alcoholic, I’m known for never hosting a party that doesn’t include Jell-O shots. Even my family treats Jell-O shots as tradition, having them at all family gatherings (classy, we know).

Hell, even Ted is a fan of spiked jiggly Jell-O.

Teddy approved.

Pussy approved party shots.

Seeing that I could concoct a gelatinous shot for tailgates every Saturday in celebration of my college football team, I couldn’t wait to get back to Nashville and prepare (so excited in fact that I lugged this mold kit in my carry on just in case my luggage got lost and had in-depth discussions with TSA agents when passing through airport security about how cool I was in doing so).

The $4.99 kit includes two mold trays and four boxes of coordinated-with-your-school-colors Jell-O.

Here’s what it takes to make two trays, which gives you 24 ‘shots’:

1 box of Jell-O

Your choice of vodka (in lieu of water)**

Cooking spray

Vodka not included in the box of happy.

Vodka not included in the box of happy.

**For lighter shots, you can do a half water and half vodka recipe.**

Unless you’re like me and have zero math skills (thanks to Scooby, I cheated my mathematical way to graduation from 9th grade on – sorry Mrs. Book – because like all kids I never thought I was really going to use anything other than addition in life but unbeknownst to me, I’d needed mad math skills when perfecting my shot recipes. Shit hooks).

What the fuck is half of 2/3 cup? WHAT?

What the fuck is half of 2/3 cup? What? WHAT?

So when your brain houses zero calculating skills of any kind, use all vodka in the recipe.

To prepare:

Spray the inside of molds with cooking spray

Hawkeye

Use your finger to get the cooking spray into the nooks and crannies of the mold or they’ll turn out less than perfect.    Trust me.

Then boil the water/vodka concoction and dissolve the Jell-O powder. Transfer liquid from cooking pan to a measuring cup (or anything that allows you to pour easily).

Pour

Fill molds and refrigerate three hours.

Instructions from the box will tell you to run a knife along the edges of your molds once the Jell-O has set. This method didn’t work so well (and was going to make my Hawkeye mascot look like it’d been mauled by a bear) Mama CBXB (genius shot maker, mind you) suggested placing the cool molds in a few centimeters of warm water and then use a toothpick to loosen the edges.

Hot soak in the sink wise words from Mama.

Coaxing the Jell-O to cooperate.

A hot soak in the sink (and my clean-until-I-licked-it-after-personally-guiding-each-shot-out-of-its-mold finger) did the trick.

Jiggling goodness.

Jiggling goodness.

Being that popping the little suckers out of the tray can be tricky (and a tad messy since you used cooking spray), distribute them on a paper towel, then move to a serving tray.

Hit of the party...

And boom. Hit of the party.

Field goal fanatics.

Papa approved.

While Dad and I stuck to our touchdown tradition of moonshine shots, the Jell-O shot jigglers can be a substitution for those who’d like to keep their wits about them on a Saturday.

Moonshine shot substitution for those who'd like to keep their wits about them on a Saturday.

Moonshine exchange for fraidy cats.

To see if Jell-O gives a rat’s ass about your favorite college team, click here.

Not into sports? How about a holiday?

I found this handsome party treat at Target over the weekend.

Halloween fun.

Spooky creature kit.

Obviously, you can make these gelatinous treats with no alcohol.

But now how is that any kind of fun?

Jiggle it. Just a little bit.

CBXB

CBXB!

Weekend Winks – Super Bowl and Sequins

A Nashville weekend jam-packed with sports, sequins and kitty cats.

Sounds like a dream come true, doesn’t it?

It's not a Super Bowl without a few sparkly sequins.

It’s not a Super Bowl without a few sequins.

Friday found me attending a Nashville Predators hockey game, where I had full expectations of yet another disappointing loss. However much to my delight, the Preds defeated the New Jersey Devils in overtime. Holla!

Fang fingers!

Fang fingers!

The win deserved to be celebrated, so my group trekked down Broadway looking for any establishment that didn’t have a two-mile line to get in. When we solidified our spot, everyone before our group and everyone after our group was carded. No one in our gang needed to whip out their ID as the bouncer said, “You’re with this guy?(a friend with few strands of gray hair) He’s old enough, I’m sure you are too.” Tear.

Reminiscing

Reminiscing about the good old days of looking under 21.

Inquiring minds have been asking about New Cat (a freezing stray that showed up at our door a few weeks back), who is still in residence under my roof. You know how folks say after three days company starts smelling a little fishy? Then you can only imagine how Ted is feeling about New Cat after three weeks….

House guest smelling a little fish to TEd

A real, live shadow for Teddy.

While I thought New Cat was enjoying his warm, cozy digs I second guessed that notion after catching him trying to commit suicide from my second balcony porch this weekend.

Suicide attempt

Only nine lives there, NC.

On a side note, this is really one of the sweetest, cuddliest cats I’ve ever seen. In the market for a little fur baby? I’ll drive him to a fabulous home…

Ever go dumpster diving? I didn’t think it was really a sport until I saw this set of glasses calling my name from the neighborhood trash can.  Couldn’t help but slam on the brakes and carefully load my new glasses into the car.

One man's trash is apparently my treasure

Trashy treasure for me!

My two little Iowa rug rats were so excited for the Super Bowl that they stood up and cheered about it on Sunday morning.

A standing ovation on Super Bow day.

A standing ovation for football.

While the twins were busy giving their legs a workout, my favorite feline was busy soaking in all of the fun from the Kitten Bowl.

Me and my MVP

Me and my MVP.

Of course there were parties to attend in honor of football’s biggest night.  Remember how I said it’s not a Super Bowl without sequins? I meant to also include Jell-O shots in that statement.

Jell-O! Remember how I said what's a super bowl without sequins? I meant Jell-I too.

Ain’t no party like a Super Bowl party…

I elbowed my way up to the well stocked bar as soon as I made my grand entrance.

Bee line to the bar.

Too bad there’s no liquor to consume.

Guess which glass I chose to guzzle from the entire evening?

Size matters

Size matters.

When the whistle blew, we had our game faces on.

Game face on.

Nice grill.

The spread of food would have easily covered a football field.

Food galore.

It keeps going…

And more...

…and going….

Oyster appearance

…and going….

Bets and tasty footballs

…and going…

Did I mention that there were Jell-O shots?

Did I mention Jell-O?

No pressure but you should probably have one. Or five.

While the game started to suck shit even before halftime, our crowd was ready for some Bruno Mars entertainment.

Bruno ready!

Bring us Bruno, baby!

Hello Lovah.

80 inches of one fabulously fine performer.

While no one likes to see a Super Bowl blow out, there’s really only one thing you can do to keep from being bored…

Celebrate Bruno the only way I know how.

Jell-O. For winners, losers and boredom.

Even sweet Buddy the dog was forced to sniff the gelatinous goodness due to the snooze fest of a game.

Buddy was even

No worries. I did Buddy’s shot for him.

A few rounds of Jell-O made even the dreariest of commercials hilarious.

Wishing I was this happy this am....

Game? What game?

Wishing I was feeling that happy on this Monday morning…

Congrats to the Seattle Seahawks!

Cheers!

CBXB

CBXB!

Iowa State Fair Bound, Baby!

We're off!

We’re off!

Teddy and I are taking a blogging break to eat our way through the Iowa State Fair (well, I will be eating my way through the fair. Ted will just continue to eat, sleep, eat, eat and eat his way through life).

While in Iowa, I’m also going to party down with my Grandma as she celebrates her 90 years on the planet…wonder if I can get her to do Jell-O shots at this shin dig?

Go Granny Go!

Wonder where I get my party skills? Look no further!

I’ll keep you posted.

Cheers!

CBXB

Trashy Traditions

During the last decade, the younger generation of my brood has introduced a new tradition to our family – Jell-O shots (I mean, duh. What Christmas gathering is complete without this delicacy?). And my family (being the classy clan that we are) welcomed the gelatin filled vodka with open arms.

There may actually be a cat hair in your Jello with the aid of Ted.

Who put the cat hair in my Jell-O?

It all started with our love of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation – and how we watched the movie together every season. I was across between the young Ruby Sue (as my dad was deemed our family’s Eddie – yes, my sister and I are proud) and Aunt Bethany (as she was the crazy cat lady, wrapping up her cat for a Christmas gift and serving a Jell-O mold made with cat food). Therefore one family Christmas, I brought Jell-O shots decorated with cat food (really Cracklin’ Oat Bran but at first glance, looks like the real deal) and our new family legacy was born.

This cheap, easy tradition requires the following:

1 box of Jell-O

Nut cups

Vodka (flavored if you wish)

1 can whipped cream for topping

Follow the instructions on the back of the Jell-O box. Insert vodka anytime the recipe calls for water (if you’re worried too much liquor may create awkward family moments, use half vodka, half water). Refrigerate. Serve!

Making my family proud with our new tradition

Making my family proud.

Introducing new traditions isn’t always easy and ours required my very apprehensive Gma’s approval.

blah

A little Jell-O never hurt…

Some gals prefer to be ladylike (like my Gma) and use a toothpick to aid in consumption.

Stirred, not shaken

Stirred, not shaken

And the rest is history.

Go Granny Go!

Family tested, Gma approved.

Now the tradition is so engrained, Teddy even takes part.

Teddy is even paws on when it comes to making Jello.

Paws on when it comes to making Jell-O.

Why don’t you do as the classy do and introduce the Jell-O shot tradition to your family this year?
It will make for some interesting memories….
CBXB