Oh Nashville.
You used to be my hidden gem of a city. I’d lure people to visit because if someone didn’t like country music, they weren’t interested in coming. Nashville was never just country music and cowboys but only true peeps who lived here knew that. Now, the secret’s out. It’s been out for quite some fucking time since the overly dramatic television show Nashville hit TV screens and the last few years, one hundred people have been moving here per day, taking up precious space on my interstates (yes, the interstates here are mine and mine only) and causing housing prices to sky rocket (seriously stop moving here or I’m going to be unable to afford to live in my Mini Manse that is a 42-year-old, popcorn ceilinged, ratchety carpeted, brass hardwared apartment that has gone up in rent almost $100 per year the last three years).
After this weekend, it’s suffice to say that Nashville is a legit city. Music City hosted the NFL Draft (downtown), the Country Music Marathon (downtown), Jimmy Buffett threw a parrot head party (downtown), and Taylor Swift decided to make a surprise appearance in the city with an impromptu meet and greet at the same time regular tourists and bachelor/bachelorette parties invaded the city while regular events went on per usual.
In 2017, Nashville’s population was 691,243.
This weekend, 600,000 more people invaded the city.
A projected 340,000 people for the weekend. That number nearly doubled for the three day shenanigans in Music City.
Most folks that live here took heed from the warning below…
The traffic lights literally spelled NFL. Photo credit: Pedro Esteban Tellez.
Just because my city was inundated with NFL fans didn’t mean I wasn’t in the mood for the draft. Two Iowa tight ends were projected to be selected Round One. So naturally, I gussied up at work in support.
Tight End University, Baby!
Lucky for me, First Mate is a sports head too and she hosted a draft partay at her castle.
Do gators eat hawks or do the birds peck gators to death?
Nothing says football party like a little two boxes of rosé.
True to the projections, my Iowa Hawkeyes tight ends, T.J. Hockenson and Noah Fant were selections eight and 20 overall in the first round. The University of Iowa is the first ever to have two tight ends drafted in the first round, which is why we’re now known as Tight End University.
I’m a size medium if anyone is at Raygun in the near future.
Detroit for Hockenson.
Broncos for Fant.
Might as well have been downtown.
Or maybe we were glad we were in air conditioning.
Either way, we had such a ball that we accidentally killed two boxes of rosé.
R.I.P. Bota Boxes.
Did I mention it was Thursday night? I woke up with such confusion at First Mate’s Friday morning (because I usually stay over on a weekend), I almost lollygagged too long to make it to work on time.
As if draft day one wasn’t enough, Taylor Swift decided to grace Nashville with her presence the day she dropped her first single off of the upcoming album. Hint after hint was dropped by Swift’s camp and Swifties from all over the planet somehow figured the fuck out where she was going to be at 11am on Friday morning.
If you want to stand where Taylor is standing, this mural is in the Gulch area of Nashville.
For those of you Swifties out here, below is a video (it’s grainy but you’ll get the gist) captured by a dude who misses nothing in Nashville and is hip to every.single.thing happening in town. Taylor apparently stayed and signed autographs and graciously took selfies for hours.
One thing most Nashvillians can unite on is our disdain for the “woohoo” girls who come down for bachelorette parties. Now of course they pay good money and stay downtown but are, quite possibly, the most annoying of all tourists. So this was an especially funny site to see.
Speaking of bachelorette parties, check out the best sign from the marathon on Saturday.
A big congrats to the 30,000+ runners who completed the half and full marathon. I’ve done both and they are hard as fuuuuuuuuuuck.
Run for the tacos. @rosepepper
Even though neither First Mate nor myself did any kind of running, we still decided we needed tacos.
So we ran to eat Mexican.
While Nashville was abuzz with all kinds of shit happening, my Iowa twins were all primped up for a wedding. It’s too bad they don’t enjoy each other’s company.
Nothing but love.
J. Crew model in the making.
Hair model in the making.
I mean fucking COME ON.
When Sunday rolled around, I was ready for some mauling by The Pussy Posse.
Rocky and Fabio have snuggling down to a science.
The newest addition Scooch, is another story.
After watching everyone stand on their feet for three days downtown, my tootsies ached for them. Of course I remedied that the best way I know.
To all those that came in for a few days, thanks for coming!
But mostly, thanks for getting the fuck out of town.
Love ya, mean it!
Cowboys and Crossbones 