Weekend Winks – Surprises, Six Degrees and Slaying

This shade of black really brings out the color of my soul.

God I love a t-shirt that speaks for me.

Open for fun.

My aunt flew in to surprise my dad for a mini retirement celebration. It was pretty fucking fabulous.

The par-tay train headed downtown to honky tonk on Broadway.

The Bat Building never gets old.

Robert’s Western World never gets old.

Arriving late after gussying up, as soon as my ass hit the bar stool in Robert’s, I got a message from an old school friend asking if I happened to be around. Seeing as Music City has 100 fucking people moving to the city every.single.day (please for the love of god, STOP MOVING HERE. Come visit, spend some cash and get the fuck out) Nashvillians going downtown is about as rare as a man being falsely accused of rape. So like, 99.9% never.

Downtown used to be a fun hang every so often but now, it’s asses to elbows everywhere. So it was Kismet that I happened to be in a bar right across the street from my old buddy, who still resides in Iowa. He was visiting for work and just thought he’d reach out. As kids, our families would camp (yes, I actually camped (ew) before I knew glamping was a thing) and one of our fave activities was going around Wilson’s Lake and collecting pop cans that we’d turn in for a refund at Cheese’s grocery store. Redeeming five cents per can, I thought we were going to be thousandaires as we packed garbage after garbage bag full of aluminum. I think we each ended up with about $50. Still not bad for 10 year olds.

Six degrees of CBXB.

When I went to meet up with his crew, I didn’t know anyone else at the table. But within the 30 minutes I chit chatted, I somehow had a connection to or through or knew someone they knew at the table. My friend came across the street to say hey to Dada CBXB who, prior to his move to Nashville (and retirement), was a teacher and coach of some sort for over 30 years.

Old school.

Naturally we did what all teachers and coaches do when they reunite with former students.

Shots.

I mean, you know I have an ever classy fam.

Blurred lines.

Saturday came early for my Iowa twins, who were frying up a donut storm.

Then they decided to create costumes since the weather was kinda shitty.

If you guessed bats, you’d be right.

Inspired by my mini bakers, my lazy ass decided to get out a new pancake mix I picked up. Mostly because it was gluten free but really because all it takes is 2/3 cup of the mix and 3/4 cup of water.

Betty.Fucking.Crocker.

My Iowa Hawkeyes had a 2:30 kick off, so I sauntered out to Dada CBXB’s and watched my dudes school the Minnesota Golden Gophers. The Hawks won 48-31. You know what that meant….six rounds of our classy Family Tradition.

I’m not good at math but I couldn’t fit six pics into my cute photo collage.

It also meant that the Floyd of Rosedale rivalry trophy will reside another year with my favorite birds.

The pig stays in the Hawkeye State.

After the welcomed distraction of a win, it remained consistently hard to escape the painful thoughts that have been swirling around my noggin for the last three weeks, as America’s attitude toward rape culture continues to shock the ever living hell out of me.

It’s sad. It’s so sad. So much so that I’ve turned to eating my pain away. Which isn’t working for my brain as much as it is my already ample ass.

I’ll have five pounds of wings, please. No, really, we had five pounds of wings. And Shit Dip that was already inhaled when this photo was snapped. And like one celery stick.

We welcomed Sunday by washing Saturday away with margaritas at our fave Mexican joint.

Tasty treats.

Accompanied by what felt like 482 lbs of food after I scarfed my feelings food down.

Another side of salsa, please.

Of course no self care Sunday would be complete without my personal bible, People magazine, and a dip in bubbles.

To those of you weary to the motherfucking bone after the past few weeks, know that it’s OK to feel that way. To those of you who are confused after the past few weeks, know that it’s OK to feel that way. To those of you who feel hopeless after the past few weeks, that’s not OK.

You matter.

The next generation matters.

K. Thanks. Bye.

CBXB

CBXB!

Lazy Lasagna

I am no gourmet chef. I’m not really even close to being called a cook (although I do own some cute aprons in which I like to prance around my kitchen).

Being beyond lazy, I almost always enjoy a nice bowl of cereal for supper. But every once in a while I get a hankering for ‘real’ food and one of my “specialties” is bland, non-exciting lasagna.Β  Whipping it up for company not only makes me seem kinda domestic, it typically knocks the socks of my food companions, as I’m not offering them just wine and sliced cheese.

Lazy cooking at its finest. Although when presented on skull and crossbone plates (which is my fine china), it really ups the ante, yes?

Underwhelming cooking at its finest. Although when presented on a skull and crossbones plate (which is my fine china), it really ups the ante, yes?

Here’s what you’ll need for this easy peasy Italian dish that will cost you around $10:

1 box no boil lasagna noodles (I use gluten-free but any will do)

1 small carton of cottage cheese

1 package of shredded mozzarella cheese

2 jars of your favorite spaghetti sauce

1 pound of lean beef (your choice of meat or meat substitute)

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Gluten-free lasagna at its blandest.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and then fry your choice of meat in a skillet.

Instead of a slicing a fresh onion (takes too much time, makes my mascara run, etc…) I shake in some dried minced onion to spruce up the meat while it’s browning. You can also choose to add green peppers, mushroom, spinach, etc…but you know that takes more time, effort and money (plus adds flavors in which I don’t love…being from the Midwest, I’m all about bland food!).

no fresh onions

No need to cry in the kitchen with already minced onion.

Once the meat is done grab a baking dish and coat with cooking spray. You’ll create three layers and start with the spaghetti sauce, meat, cottage cheese, noodles, sauce again and mozzarella.

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Non-tedious layering process.

The second and third layers are the same as the first.

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The “secret” weapon in my lazy lasagna is the using more sauce than needed. Leftovers are never dried out!

Stick the concoction in the oven for 45 minutes.Β  I typically cover in foil for about 25 minutes, then remove the remainder of the baking time so the top layer of cheese can brown.

Ooey, gooey

Ooey, gooey Italian goodness.

And what good is lasagna without bread accompanying its appearance on a plate?Β  My favorite gluten-free baguette bread is Against the Grain. While it’s a little pricey ($7 for two loaves), it tastes as close to the real deal as any other brand I’ve tried.

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The splurge is worth it.

In about an hour, you’ll end up with a low-fat, gluten-free, bland, easy, company pleasing dish.

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Of course this lasagna is served with a very large bottle of wine. Duh.

I never tell anyone this is gluten-free until after they’ve consumed and no one ever knows the difference!

Bon appetite my lazy cooks!

CBXB

CBXB!