Tampon-tacular Ted

You know those (highly obnoxious) people who think their kid is more outstanding than any other? The kind that boasts with the ‘my child is on the honor roll’ bumper sticker type? Well, I’m now that proud parent who can’t wait to scream how fabulous my feline is from the hilltops of Tennessee.

And why you wonder? Not only can Teddy bring me birds while I soak in the bathtub (click here to read about his adorableness), he can hunt and gather…wait for it…wait for it….tampons!

Hunt and Gather

Tough Teddy on the prowl.

I was minding my own business when Ted burst through the door like his tiny tail was on fire. My immediate thought was “Jesus. Please don’t let it be anything still living,” (as my sweet Bear once brought a live mouse into the bed one night at 3am….I thought he was taking one hell of a bath (smacking his lips like he was eating fried chicken) and when I went to drag him up by my face, he had a little friend…pleasant experience) and it took a second to realize what kind of prey he’d ‘hunted’ out of my purse (he’s also very good at confiscating toothbrushes – read here).

proud feline

Protecting his kill. My heart bursts with pride.

As he spit the tampon out at my feet, I felt a little tear come to my eye. Not from being overwhelmed with happiness that my cat just killed another inanimate object but tears of sheer delight streamed down my cheeks as I laughed my ass off (I wish it was that easy).Β  What would I do without the comical fur ball love of my life?

I’m just trying to figure out what my braggy, boasting bumper sticker should say…

CBXB

CBXB!