Seductive Skinny Spaghetti

Looking to wow the pants off your Valentine while not feeling like a beached whale?

Avoid the bloated feeling that accompanies over consumption of traditional pasta by substituting noodles with spaghetti squash.  Yes, I said substitute pasta with a vegetable.

I thought this was a ridiculous idea until I tried it (as I was looking for ways to keep my skinny jeans buttoned) and realized that I could do without the over processed ingredient .

Skinny Sketti

Here’s what you’ll need:

• One Spaghetti squash – I had to ask where the hell they were located at my grocery
• Choice of meat (if desired)
• Your favorite Italian sauce (I use canned – but low sodium!)
• Choice of cheese (if your heart beats for dairy like mine does.)

This is what the vegetable I had no idea existed looks like.

Prep:

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
• Microwave the squash for about a minute.  This will make it loads easier to cut and save your hand strength for opening that tightly sealed jar of sauce (that I have to ask the grocery clerk to open for me before I leave the damn store because I have zero hand strength).
• Cut the substitution spaghetti lengthwise.

• Once cut, scoop the seeds out of the middle .

If you forget this step (as I ALWAYS do) you can remove after cooking – no worries.

Be sure to hold on tight because squash are slippery little suckers.

• Once seeds have been removed, place halves on a cooking sheet.
• Bake for 45 minutes to an hour, depending on the size of your gourd.

• Cool for a few minutes and use a fork to create noodles.

• Place your ‘spaghetti noodles’ in a bowl.

• While your sketti is baking start on the non-strenuous sauce by pouring it in a pan and adding your choice of veggies and/or meats.

Typically, I add FreeBird chicken breast strips that can be found at Whole Foods (low in sodium and calories).

• Mix sauce and cooked meat, bring to a boil.

Once complete, serve immediately with or without cheese.

Due to the non-pasta spaghetti, I treat myself with a handful of mozzarella on top.

This cheesy version of sexy spaghetti will cost $10 (more or less depending on the meat), is gluten-free and has about 260 calories, 20 carbs and 11 grams of sugar overall per serving.

Use reduced fat cheese to keep it on the ‘skinny’ side.

Now get out there in all your skinny glory and seduce someone.

CBXB

Pigskin Sushi

Trashy tailgating treat at its finest.

There’s nothing my family does better than snack and celebrate, so with the college football season kick-off this weekend, we already have our game faces on with what appetizers to draft for our game day spread. And there’s no fumbling when it comes to making one of our finest treats, Pigskin Sushi.

A big moonshine cheers to football season finally being here!

This non-threatening Midwestern version of sushi is a crowd pleasing hit at any tailgate whether you’re cheering for your fave college team….

Yes, the Big Ten is a conference in college football.

…or you’re trying to impress fellow NFL fans.

And yes, the Tennessee Titans still have fans even after dismal seasons.

This is my trashy version of sushi that requires three ingredients, five minutes of prep and dirties no dishes (perfect for kitchen lovers like me).

Ingredients:

Baby dill pickles, one block of cream cheese and thick-sliced, cooked ham. Total cost – $7.00.

Remove one piece of the cooked ham and place on a paper towel.

Spread room temperature cream cheese over the ham.

Place dill pickle at one end of the ham and roll up.

Slice the pickle-in-a-blanket to your desired size.

And voila! White trash sushi.

This low carb, gluten-free delicatessen will stand out among the typical tailgating treats.

A bright beacon of shining food among traditional football snacks.

And not only is Pigskin Sushi cheap and easy (no I’m not referring to myself), it washes down with any cocktail you choose on game day.

Skinny Pirates for this Hawkeye.

In my book, that’s a touchdown!

CBXB

Pigskin Style Sushi

Are you a lazy cook (like yours truly) who can barely get off your ass to pour yourself a bowl of cereal? When invited to a party, do you always offer to bring chips, a carton of dip and a veggie platter because no cooking is involved?

Allow me to introduce you to Pigskin Sushi (at least that’s what my fam calls it, as we make it for almost every tailgate we attend). What’s not to love about an affordable, three ingredient, five-minute, dirty-no-dishes delicatessen that even you can whip together and party goers will devour?

This non-conventional sushi is always a crowd pleaser.

You will need:

Dill pickles, one block of cream cheese and thick-sliced, cooked ham.  Total cost – $7.00.

Directions:

Place a paper towel under the slice of ham (this will absorb some of the moisture due to packaging) and spread cream cheese over it.

You can use light and/or whipped cream cheese, just be sure it’s at room temperature for easy spreading.

Next roll a pickle up in the cheesy slice of ham.

Baby dill pickles work best in the simple recipe.

Then cut the pickle-in-a-blanket to your desired size.

Once you’ve sliced, you’re done. Seriously.

Place on a platter and watch folks curiously gander at the pickles on a plate for a minute (seriously, people will act like they may be above a pickle wrapped in cream cheese and ham but once they have one, it’s game over).

A plateful of Pigskin Sushi won’t last long.

This snack was such a hit at the last tailgate, we made another batch of the low carb, gluten-free delicatessen for the second half of the game and still had no left overs.

Touchdown!

CBXB

Skinny Salad

I leave for Key West in three weeks. Therefore, I feel the need to shed the extra winter pounds I gain every year when I go into hibernation (and somehow get glowing, tan skin without having to burn myself in a tanning bed so as not to blend in with the clouds as I frolic on the beach).

I was just introduced to this salad from a pseudo paleo (this salad includes cheese) diet follower and was impressed enough to recreate on my own.

Greens are good for you – but still I wish this was a plate full of french fries, I’m not gonna lie.

Here’s what you’ll need…

Olive oil

Red wine vinegar

Greens of your choice

Salt and pepper to taste

Shaved or shredded parmesan cheese

Any other veggie that you fancy – I’m just plain Jane girl and keep it simple (I also don’t like to dirty anymore dishes than I have to, as I don’t have a dishwasher. Lazy party of one!).

Protein of your choice (again, I’m too lazy).

Holy healthy ingredients! Not a typical site in my kitchen.

Simply combine 1/4 cup of olive oil and two tablespoons of the red wine vinegar (you can add more or less to your liking).  Add a generous amount of pepper to the mix and then a sprinkle of salt.

Who knew you could make your own salad dressing? Not this blonde.

Once I prepped the salad in all of five minutes, Ted came racing into the kitchen announcing his presence and needing to see what the hell I was doing in there (as I never do much of anything but pour cocktails in the kitchen).

No fish? No thanks!

This gluten-free, guilt free, low carb, low-cost (once you have the ingredients, you just need to buy greens) salad will have you coming back for more. Cats? Not so much.

Now here’s hoping I don’t get too sick of this salad I’m calling supper for the next few weeks. Cross your fingers for me (and my pasty white non-bathing suit ready ass) as I pair this salad with a fat glass of pinot grigio (wine really helps extra LBs melt off your hips, right?!)

CBXB

Sexy Skinny Spaghetti

Looking to wow the pants off your Valentine? Or maybe just a way to stay in your skinny jeans?

Avoid the bloated feeling that often comes with traditional pasta by substituting noodles with spaghetti squash.  I thought this was a ridiculous idea (how could a vegetable taste like pasta?!) until I tried it for the first time (I loathe change).

Skinny Sketti

You will need a spaghetti squash, choice of meat (if desired) and your favorite Italian sauce (I use bottled – but low sodium!).

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Microwave the squash for about a minute.  This will make it loads easier to cut and save your hand strength for opening that tightly sealed jar of sauce (let’s be real, I would never make from scratch).

Once cut, scoop the seeds out of the middle (if you forget this step (as I almost ALWAYS do) you can remove after cooking – no worries).

Hold on tight because the squash is slippery!

Once seeds have been removed, place halves on a cooking sheet.  Bake for 45 minutes to an hour, depending on the size of your gourd.

Use a fork to create ‘spaghetti’ noodles.

I can make four meals out of one large spaghetti squash (thus not having to cook all week. Score!).

Typically, I add FreeBird chicken breast strips that can be found at Whole Foods (low in sodium and calories) but I’ve also used turkey meatballs and lean ground beef in my sauce.

Mix sauce and cooked meat, bring to a boil.

Serve immediately with or without cheese (due to the non-pasta spaghetti, I treat myself with a handful of mozzarella on top).

Use reduced fat cheese to keep it on the ‘skinny’ side.

This cheesy version of sexy spaghetti will cost $10 (more or less depending on the meat) has about 260 calories, 20 carbs and 11 grams of sugar overall.

Now get out there in all your skinny glory and seduce someone.

CBXB