Weekend Winks – Panic, Boos! and Pussy Shenanigans

Friday started on the right foot with some prep for a Halloween party at the office tomorrow.

However, things took a hard turn when I had a panic attack out of fucking nowhere after lunch. I had to leave work, after catching my breath and then I managed to throw up while driving down the interstate. With my head out the window like a dog. And still  got my empty stomach contents all over my shoulder and down the inside of my door.

Adulting is hard.

I threw my newest armour on that I received last week via mail with no note. Now, obviously the sender really knows me, as the shirt not only included sparkly pink text, it read, “Onward Buttercup there’s fuckery to spread.” I had posted a blog about my own personal Harvey Weinstein on Friday (thinking back, possible trigger for a panic attack), and got this text from the sender.

I have the best friends.

Unable to un-tense any section of my body (even my eyeballs ached), I wallowed on the leopard couch, played Words With Friends that pissed me off when realizing my favorite state isn’t really considered a word.

WTF?

I was joined in snuggles from Iowa by my sister and Princess B.

Miles apart but the same at heart.

I was being mauled by my fur balls and I didn’t hate a second of it.

Fierce feline snuggles from Ruby Sue.

Precious and Rocky joined in, too.

I was mighty happy the Iowa game didn’t start until 5:30 pm on Saturday, so I was able to do one out of 100 loads of laundry I should have done, lay on the couch, and watch my 81-year-old boyfriend Lee Corso on ESPN’s College Game Day rock a skeleton outfit. It was pretty much a perfect fucking all day.

Game day ready.

Extremely conflicted as to wear a costume, Iowa Hawkeye gear or a combo of both, I went for the gaudier side. A little Halloween and a whole lotta Hawkeye.

Conflicted costume.

Traveling out to Dada CBXB’s for the game (also known as Pamela Anderson to my Kid Rock this time of year), we got to see Cousin Eddie and Clark that I originally rescued but they took to my dad so much so, that I wrapped them up and gave him to them for Christmas two years ago. He can’t tell them apart and calls them Cat 1 and Cat 2.

To me it’s beyond obvious.

Cousin Eddie

Clarkie

We were all Skinny Pirated up and ready for the 5:30 kick-off. Some of our crowd were more excited than others…

Although the first half was kind of a snore, my Hawkeyes pulled out a win and we take those no matter how ugly!

Two touchdown and one victory shot! Whoop!

We then settled down with nightcaps of Manhattans courtesy of my BIL’s famous recipe.

Nighty night.

I slept the most consecutive hours Saturday night in as long as I can remember. TEN hours. TEN! I’ve been averaging maybe four per evening the past two years, so saying I felt like a new lady is an understatement.

To top off the start to my Sunday, I was treated by Dada’s world-famous cheese omelette (according to him) which is one of my fave things he cooks.

Ah, yeah baby.

My Iowa twins couldn’t decide which holiday they wanted to celebrate more…

From Halloween. To Christmas. Back to Halloween.

Pumpkin perfecting.

With some elbow grease to finish.

Paw Patrol is still big at the Twin Castle, and my handy sister was able to create adorable ensembles for the most adorable duo on the planet.

Skye

Zuma

Then, all hell broke loose for me when fucking Facebook popped up a memory from a year ago and feelings started to seep into my soul. This time every year, I would be prepping Teddy Bear’s costume – this is the first time in eight years I haven’t been able to do it. And top that off with it being National Cat Day, I had a come apart of epic proportions.

Hole in my heart over my main squeeze who is gone too soon.

Not wanting my current fur babies to feel left out, (as I do have the cutest kids on the fucking block), I still celebrated my fave four pussies, of course.

My fab four. Rocky, Fabio, Ruby Sue and Elsa Pants.

I’ll leave you with a little wisdom one of my Nashville sistas gave me in regard to closing out 2017, looking forward to a new year:

Anyone have any cheese for my cracker?

CBXB

National Pussy, er…Teddy Bear Day

It’s National Cat Day folks.

This is the biggest holiday of my year (don’t judge) as most of you know just how cuckoo for fucking Cocoa Puffs I am about my pussy, Teddy B.  He’s the yin to my yang. The side to my kick. The “me” to my “ow”.   So in a dire attempt to make my furball love me all the more, I present you with an ode to the best bear on the planet…

Ahem.

Oh Ted you bring so much joy and good cheer,

Even when your piercing looks could kill.

Always a sport when I dress you up,

You never lose your cool when the costume fucks up.

Cinco de Teddy was a highlight one year and

while I was sure we had matching sombreros,

I’m pretty sure you were trying to figure out

how to pierce my heart with an arrow.

Bunny ears aren’t your favorite as you made very clear,

So I made you a pirate, in which (I kinda think) you revered.

Today is your day and in honor of you,

I will break out my finest kit cat attire.

I’ll be sure to slip on your favorite tie  –

before you try to murder me by hire.

The night will be yours to do as you please.

Whether it includes Skinny Pirates, shots of Jell-O,

or your favorite vino to help you chill and be mellow.

 We were both beyond blue

when New Cat passed suddenly this year.

Although beyond annoying, we’re heartbroken he permanently left our crew.

Celebrate you we will with all kinds of fun,

As my Earth tends to revolve around your sun.

Happy Teddy Bear Cat Day to all of our furiends!

CBXB

National Teddy B…er, I Mean Cat Day

It’s National Cat Day folks.

This is the biggest holiday of my year (don’t judge) as most of you know just how cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs I am about my pussy, Teddy B.  He’s the yin to my yang. The side to my kick. The “me” to my “ow”.   So in a dire attempt to make my furball love me all the more, I present you with an ode to the best bear on the planet…

Ahem.

Oh Ted you bring so much joy and good cheer,

Even when your piercing looks could kill.

Always a sport when I dress you up,

You never lose your cool when the costume fucks up.

Cinco de Teddy was a highlight last year and

while I was sure we had matching sombreros,

I’m pretty sure you were trying to figure out

how to pierce my heart with an arrow.

Bunny ears aren’t your favorite as you made very clear,

So I made you a pirate, in which (I kinda think) you revered.

Today is your day and in honor of you,

I will break out my finest kit cat attire.

I’ll be sure to slip on your favorite tie  –

before you try to murder me by hire.

The night will be yours to do as you please.

Whether it includes Skinny Pirates, shots of Jell-O,

or your favorite vino to help you chill and be mellow.

 Never once this year did you act blue

when we rescued New Cat

and he permanently joined our crew.

Celebrate you we will with all kinds of fun,

As my Earth tends to revolve around your sun.

Happy Teddy Bear Cat Day to all of our furiends!

CBXB

National Teddy Bear…er… I Mean Cat Day

I’m knee-deep in a shit show today folks.

You see, I’ve been all wrapped up in Halloween shenanigans and my gal pal Amanda just called my attention to one of the biggest holidays of the year. It’s National Cat Day.

I cannot believe I didn’t know about it (and I’m sure my eyes will be clawed out immediately upon my arrival home from work today) as I’m a raging lunatic over my cat Ted. He’s the yin to my yang. The side to my kick. The “me” to my “ow”. And frankly today, I’m fucked.

So in a dire attempt to make my pussy a little less unhinged at my failure as a cat mom, may I present you with an ode to the best bear on the planet…

Ahem.

Oh Ted you bring so much joy and good cheer,

Even when your piercing looks could kill.

Always a sport when I dress you up,

You never lose your cool when the costume F’s up.

Cinco de Teddy was our highlight this year and

while I was sure we had matching sombreros,

I’m pretty sure you were trying to figure out

how to pierce my heart with an arrow.

Bunny ears aren’t your favorite as you made very clear,

So I made you a pirate, in which (I kinda think) you revered.

Today is your day and in honor of you,

I will break out my finest kit cat attire.

And I’ll be sure to slip your favorite tie on-

before you try to murder me by hire.

The night will be yours to do as you please.

Whether it includes Skinny Pirates, shots of Jell-O,

or your favorite vino to help you chill and be mellow.

Celebrate you we will with all kinds of fun,

As my Earth tends to revolve around your sun.

And I’m begging you to believe me when I say,

I will never, ever again forget this day.

Happy Teddy Bear Day to all of our feline furiends!
CBXB