Weekend Winks – Summertime Blues

Summer sniffles and sneezes found their way into CBXB’s mini manse this weekend…

1,402,734th achoo of Friday night.

Thinking that I was going to beat the snot out of a cold before it got the best of me, I turned to my old friend, vino.

A glass of wine a day keeps summer colds at bay. Right?

WRONG.

It turns out that gigantic glasses of wine do not thwart off watery eyes, itchy, drippy noses or soothe your vocal chords that now sound like you’ve been smoking cigarettes since gracing the world with your presence.

Rising but not shining.

Ted and New Cat were so concerned with my minor condition that they laid on the porch all day long.

Oh you don’t feel well? We don’t give a rat’s ass.

Leaving my empathetic felines behind, I tried jogging the cold away. Until I started up the first hill of the course and turned into what felt like a two ton puppy with the drippiest nose in all of Nashville.

Runny run.

While attempting to chase my summertime blues away, the twins were mauling my mom who is always hands on when she visits Iowa.

Twin wrangler.

Prince B received his first hair cut with the bribe of a sucker.

A little sucker for sweets.

Being that Prince B not only got to visit a stylist first AND got candy, Princess B went shopping and got a haul that makes Auntie CBXB’s heart pitter patter.

Skulls, cats and studs? A little CBXB in the making, my friends!

Wallowing in my whiny self-pity, Ted stonewalled me when I asked him to pay me some kindness.

Again with this sickness nonsense? Shut the fuck up.

I turned to a cinnamon shot Saturday night, hoping to ease my scratchy throat.

Grandpa’s cough syrup on double time.

Even Cameron Diaz couldn’t believe I braved the polar vortex with my cold to see her new film, Sex Tape (wait and rent at home).

The lengths I go to for entertainment…

Knocking myself out cold with medicine, I was sure Sunday would greet me with a little healthier fun.

Can’t stop. Won’t stop.

When I realized the sneezes were here to stay, I braved sweating it out at the pool.

Just what the doctor ordered…sunshine and a bloody mary.

Unable to keep my eyes open and fearful of passing out, resembling a drooling beached whale at the pool, I retreated back to the mini manse where I was finally given deserving bedside manner.

Snuggling the sniffles away.

Proving that Nurse Ted is the cure for my summertime blues.

CBXB

 

 

 

Weekend Winks – The Big One

This Nashville girl logged an 18 hour round trip to celebrate my niece and nephew’s first birthday in Iowa over the weekend.

Princess Supergirl…well worth the drive.

First birthday times two.

Never knowing what January will bring to an Iowa winter, we were greeted with freshly fallen snow upon our arrival to the Hawkeye State.

Appreciate it, Mother Nature.

And for those Southern folks who often glaze over in a blank stare when I talk about a snow blower, here’s what one looks like in action…

Northern winter lawn care for driveways and sidewalks.

Trying to be a cool kid at the twins’ table, I joined in on the hottest new accessory.

Does this bib clash with my leopard?

My dogphew kept constantly reminding me that he was still alive and kickin’ (since he only gets a portion of attention since the arrival of the twins a year ago) and took every chance he got to bowl me over. Literally.

This cuddle started in an upright position.

We headed to the mother of all grocery stores, Hy-Vee (please, please, please expand to Tennessee) and stocked up on our party faves for the big first birthday party.

Iowa’s version of Will Ferrell as an elf.

I died and went to heaven when I walked (skipped, jumped, sprinted) through the liquor aisles at the grocery.

Holy Heaven. AND you can buy on Sundays.

Watching my sister prep the birthday cakes was tough as I sat pondering how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop…

Wine, sippy cup and a sucker. Party on.

I finally got off of my perch and aided in the most difficult kitchen task of all – holding cake pans waiting to be placed into the oven.

Expert pan holder.

I should have stayed sitting on my ass, as I almost immediately sustained a head injury crawling around on the floor after my niece.

Hard headed woman.

Party day started with three super heroes rolling around in my bed…

Supergirl, Captain America, Might Dog and a powerless Auntie CBXB.

As I frolicked in the packed bed, party prep was underway.

Cape adorned pops in place.

A party try fit for Superman.

Kryptonite corner. My favorite place.

The stars of the day jumped into their birthday best.

All gussied up as Supergirl.

Captain Smiley Pants

Even my dogphew got into the groove…

Mighty Dog. Mightily embarrassed but oh-so-cute.

We set up a super hero tattoo parlor, morphing the average every day grandpa into an extraordinary man of steel.

Clark Kent at 60.

Super hero transformation complete. Obviously.

Running out of room in the freezer, we had a moment of panic until we realized it was beyond cold enough to keep our extra party goods on the deck.

Thanks for keeping our ice and hash browns frozen, Mother Nature.

It was then time to disrobe and dismantle birthday cakes like tiny wrecking balls.

Demolition success!

Double fisting.

The sweet super heroes even shared cake with their mom when she went in for a birthday kiss.

Thoughtful twins.

Thankfully there was no need to dispense a cleaning crew, as Mighty Dog was around.

Who needs a Swiffer when you have a real, live vacuum?

While my dogphew got the baby chairs so clean they sparkled, the kitchen sink was turned into a make shift bathtub.

Princess wanted all eyes on her….

…while our little Prince was a tad more embarrassed.

It was time for gifts after the Great Cake Incident and no one was more excited than yours truly to try out the new toys much to my niece’s dismay.

Mine. Mine. Mine.

She took about three seconds to realize that this was her party and no one rides her trike. Not even fun Auntie CBXB.

It’s her party and she’ll cry if she…well, you know.

After giving the trike back, it was time for our nine-hour trek home with a final destination that ended up like this…

Home sweet Teddy.

Who knew recovering from a first birthday party could be such a hard task?

CBXB

My Number Ones

365 days my twin niece and nephew have been here,

It’s now time to celebrate their inaugural year!

The first time I saw you so tiny and new,

All snuggled up together, I really had no clue.

What fun the two of you would be,

or how you’d take my heart on an endless love spree.

Whether in your birthday suits

or bundled up in snow boots,

I’ve fallen hard core for your kisses galore.

Passing down my love for fashion,

I’m proud you both can rock’n’roll, watching TV with my passion.

Making my heart grow in size times two,

With your constant giggles,

and gleeful squeals,

All encompassed within your year of debut.

As you climb for the big times and continue to grow,

During all of the seasons that will come and go,

I hope you always remember

that the two of you are my heart’s greatest treasure.

Today as you party having all kinds of fun,

I’m raising my glass to my two favorite people turning the big number one.

We love you!
Auntie CBXB and Ted

How to Throw Down at a Christening

Prior to witnessing the baptism of your twin niece and nephew, it’s important that they start the day happy.

Rise and Shine!

It’s also equally important to fill up on bottles of adult beverages in preparation for a Christening celebration (that, and the fact that you didn’t start on fire upon entering a church).

Baptism of twins equals twice the party fun!

Be sure to add personal touches in decorating by displaying pics of those near and dear holding the babies.

Can you spot CBXB sticking out like a sore thumb?

My sister, the mother of infant twins, also finds time to create art with all of her spare time.

Food is essential when celebrating babies being dunked in holy water, so have a nice spread.

Sweets, sandwiches and salads…oh my!

Play kissy face with one of the guests-of-honor when she refuses to go down for a nap (not wanting to miss out on any of the fun…taking after Auntie CBXB!).

Future social butterfly.

Keep the cocktails flowing with an open bar, new mom and tasty beverages.

Pour me another, please!

Have a camera in hand at all times to catch each and every second of the day drinking celebration (you’re doing it for the babies, of course).

Turn into a tourist in your sister’s home.

All of the photo snapping will make you very thirsty, leading to a case of the double fists.

I did this in honor of twins…you know a drink for each.

Force your dad to try drinks unknown to him (which would be anything other than Natty Light and Taaka (rot gut) vodka).

Force feed martinis.

Once the party is fully underway, keep the chips and dip within an arm’s reach so as not to starve due to over consumption of wine. Or beer. Or vodka. Or Captain.

Rehydrating with sodium filled potato chips and the best dip ever Anderson Erickson French Onion (one of the best things in Iowa!).

To further the celebration, break out the cigars!

Don’t usually smoke? Have a cigar anyhow.

Partaking in cigars when one usually doesn’t smoke leads to the party clock striking midnight and lights out…almost immediately.

My bed buddy. Not affected by the cigar smoke but clearly happy the party is over.

One can try to sleep the Christening party off the next morning but sometimes you forget that babies get up at the ass crack of dawn. No. Matter. What.

Party pooped out …. well at least I am.

And excitedly remember that babies also tend to only sleep, eat and shit the rest of the day. Score!

Trying to be just like her Auntie CBXB with a sleep mask. Love!

And that folks is how you thrown down at a Christening.

Bless your heart.

CBXB

Fairy God-Mani

You know I take being a (fairy) Godmother very seriously. And it took great consideration to decide how to paint my nails for my niece and nephew’s baptism this past weekend.

Matching a mani to a god-daughter’s outfit.

I decided to go with a bright pink base (for little diva B) accompanied by gray tips (for the all boy B).

Perfect accessory for camo pants and a baby belly, don’t you think?

After applying a base, I painted two coats of Orly’s Oh Cabana Boy and let dry for about three minutes. Then I used one swipe of Orly’s fabulously sparkly Rock Solid on the tips, followed by Seche Vite top coat for completion.

Mani-Twins

Little diva B was so engaged with my mani, she couldn’t let go of my finger (well, actually she got grabby with my bling bling diamond pinky ring – who can blame her?!).

A lover of all things sparkly already! Following in Godmother CBXB’s footsteps…look out.

It’s never too early to learn that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, right?

She’s learning from a pro.

CBXB