Weekend Winks – Summertime Blues

Summer sniffles and sneezes found their way into CBXB’s mini manse this weekend…

1,402,734th sneeze of Friday night.

1,402,734th achoo of Friday night.

Thinking that I was going to beat the snot out of a cold before it got the best of me, I turned to my old friend, vino.

A little whine for the whiny.

A glass of wine a day keeps summer colds at bay. Right?

WRONG.

It turns out that gigantic glasses of wine do not thwart off watery eyes, itchy, drippy noses or soothe your vocal chords that now sound like you’ve been smoking cigarettes since gracing the world with your presence.

Crusty face

Rising but not shining.

Ted and New Cat were so concerned with my minor condition that they laid on the porch all day long.

I. don't. care.

Oh you don’t feel well? We don’t give a rat’s ass.

Leaving my empathetic felines behind, I tried jogging the cold away. Until I started up the first hill of the course and turned into what felt like a two ton puppy with the drippiest nose in all of Nashville.

Panting like a two ton puppy in the Tennessee heat. Made my nose run more. Runny nose running

Runny run.

While attempting to chase my summertime blues away, the twins were mauling my mom who is always hands on when she visits Iowa.

Twin wrangler.

Twin wrangler.

Prince B received his first hair cut with the bribe of a sucker.

Getting the hair did with the bribe of a sucker.

A little sucker for sweets.

Being that Prince B not only got to visit a stylist first AND got candy, Princess B went shopping and got a haul that makes Auntie CBXB’s heart pitter patter.

Little CBXB in the making

Skulls, cats and studs? A little CBXB in the making, my friends!

Wallowing in my whiny self-pity, Ted stonewalled me when I asked him to pay me some kindness.

Shut the fuck up.

Again with this sickness nonsense? Shut the fuck up.

I turned to a cinnamon shot Saturday night, hoping to ease my scratchy throat.

Grandpa's cough syrup

Grandpa’s cough syrup on double time.

Even Cameron Diaz couldn’t believe I braved the polar vortex with my cold to see her new film, Sex Tape (wait and rent at home).

AH!

The lengths I go to for entertainment…

Knocking myself out cold with medicine, I was sure Sunday would greet me with a little healthier fun.

Can't stop. Won't stop.

Can’t stop. Won’t stop.

When I realized the sneezes were here to stay, I braved sweating it out at the pool.

Sweating it out at the pool

Just what the doctor ordered…sunshine and a bloody mary.

Unable to keep my eyes open and fearful of passing out, resembling a drooling beached whale at the pool, I retreated back to the mini manse where I was finally given deserving bedside manner.

Sniffles snuggled away.

Snuggling the sniffles away.

Proving that Nurse Ted is the cure for my summertime blues.

CBXB

CBXB!

 

 

 

Weekend Winks – The Big One

This Nashville girl logged an 18 hour round trip to celebrate my niece and nephew’s first birthday in Iowa over the weekend.

Super Princess on her big day.

Princess Supergirl…well worth the drive.

One times two.

First birthday times two.

Never knowing what January will bring to an Iowa winter, we were greeted with freshly fallen snow upon our arrival to the Hawkeye State.

Greetings

Appreciate it, Mother Nature.

And for those Southern folks who often glaze over in a blank stare when I talk about a snow blower, here’s what one looks like in action…

Snow blower Winter lawn care in the North

Northern winter lawn care for driveways and sidewalks.

Trying to be a cool kid at the twins’ table, I joined in on the hottest new accessory.

Eating like a bebe

Does this bib clash with my leopard?

My dogphew kept constantly reminding me that he was still alive and kickin’ (since he only gets a portion of attention since the arrival of the twins a year ago) and took every chance he got to bowl me over. Literally.

Insistent. I started in a seated position

This cuddle started in an upright position.

We headed to the mother of all grocery stores, Hy-Vee (please, please, please expand to Tennessee) and stocked up on our party faves for the big first birthday party.

Iowa's version of Will Ferrell in elf.

Iowa’s version of Will Ferrell as an elf.

I died and went to heaven when I walked (skipped, jumped, sprinted) through the liquor aisles at the grocery.

Holy Heaven.

Holy Heaven. AND you can buy on Sundays.

Watching my sister prep the birthday cakes was tough as I sat pondering how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop

Big help

Wine, sippy cup and a sucker. Party on.

I finally got off of my perch and aided in the most difficult kitchen task of all – holding cake pans waiting to be placed into the oven.

Expert pan holder.

Expert pan holder.

I should have stayed sitting on my ass, as I almost immediately sustained a head injury crawling around on the floor after my niece.

Sustained head injury

Hard headed woman.

Party day started with three super heroes rolling around in my bed…

Party day

Supergirl, Captain America, Might Dog and a powerless Auntie CBXB.

As I frolicked in the packed bed, party prep was underway.

Pops in place

Cape adorned pops in place.

Mighty decor

A party try fit for Superman.

Most important elements

Kryptonite corner. My favorite place.

The stars of the day jumped into their birthday best.

All gussied up...

All gussied up as Supergirl.

Captain Smiley Pants

Captain Smiley Pants

Even my dogphew got into the groove…

mighty Dog

Mighty Dog. Mightily embarrassed but oh-so-cute.

We set up a super hero tattoo parlor, morphing the average every day grandpa into an extraordinary man of steel.

This will only hurt a little bit

Clark Kent at 60.

Super Gpa

Super hero transformation complete. Obviously.

Running out of room in the freezer, we had a moment of panic until we realized it was beyond cold enough to keep our extra party goods on the deck.

Extra freezer. The outdoors.

Thanks for keeping our ice and hash browns frozen, Mother Nature.

It was then time to disrobe and dismantle birthday cakes like tiny wrecking balls.

Satisfied.

Demolition success!

Delish

Double fisting.

The sweet super heroes even shared cake with their mom when she went in for a birthday kiss.

Birthday Kisses for mom

Thoughtful twins.

Thankfully there was no need to dispense a cleaning crew, as Mighty Dog was around.

Who needs a Swifer when you have a real, live vaccum?

Who needs a Swiffer when you have a real, live vacuum?

While my dogphew got the baby chairs so clean they sparkled, the kitchen sink was turned into a make shift bathtub.

Bday rinse all eyes on moi, pretty please.

Princess wanted all eyes on her….

Please no.

…while our little Prince was a tad more embarrassed.

It was time for gifts after the Great Cake Incident and no one was more excited than yours truly to try out the new toys much to my niece’s dismay.

Mine. mine. mine.

Mine. Mine. Mine.

She took about three seconds to realize that this was her party and no one rides her trike. Not even fun Auntie CBXB.

It's my party...

It’s her party and she’ll cry if she…well, you know.

After giving the trike back, it was time for our nine-hour trek home with a final destination that ended up like this…

Sleeping the holiday away.

Home sweet Teddy.

Who knew recovering from a first birthday party could be such a hard task?

CBXB

CBXB!

My Number Ones

365 days my twin niece and nephew have been here,

It’s now time to celebrate their inaugural year!

Oh

The first time I saw you so tiny and new,

Image 62

All snuggled up together, I really had no clue.

Image 23

What fun the two of you would be,

Image 1

or how you’d take my heart on an endless love spree.

Image 63

Whether in your birthday suits

Image 44

or bundled up in snow boots,

Image 45

I’ve fallen hard core for your kisses galore.

Image 12

Passing down my love for fashion,

Image 9

I’m proud you both can rock’n’roll, watching TV with my passion.

Image 3

Making my heart grow in size times two,

Image 4

With your constant giggles,

Image 8

and gleeful squeals,

All encompassed within your year of debut.

Image 6

As you climb for the big times and continue to grow,

Image 10

During all of the seasons that will come and go,

Image 5

I hope you always remember

that the two of you are my heart’s greatest treasure.

Image 11

Today as you party having all kinds of fun,

Image 12

I’m raising my glass to my two favorite people turning the big number one.

We love you!
Auntie CBXB and Ted

CBXB!

How to Throw Down at a Christening

Prior to witnessing the baptism of your twin niece and nephew, it’s important that they start the day happy.

Rise and Shine!

Rise and Shine!

It’s also equally important to fill up on bottles of adult beverages in preparation for a Christening celebration (that, and the fact that you didn’t start on fire upon entering a church).

blah

Baptism of twins equals twice the party fun!

Be sure to add personal touches in decorating by displaying pics of those near and dear holding the babies.

blah

Can you spot CBXB sticking out like a sore thumb?

blah

My sister, the mother of infant twins, also finds time to create art with all of her spare time.

Food is essential when celebrating babies being dunked in holy water, so have a nice spread.

blah

Sweets, sandwiches and salads…oh my!

Play kissy face with one of the guests-of-honor when she refuses to go down for a nap (not wanting to miss out on any of the fun…taking after Auntie CBXB!).

blah

Future social butterfly.

Keep the cocktails flowing with an open bar, new mom and tasty beverages.

Keep the cocktails flowing

Pour me another, please!

Have a camera in hand at all times to catch each and every second of the day drinking celebration (you’re doing it for the babies, of course).

Turn into a tourist

Turn into a tourist in your sister’s home.

All of the photo snapping will make you very thirsty, leading to a case of the double fists.

Double fist in honor of twins...you know a drink for each.

I did this in honor of twins…you know a drink for each.

Force your dad to try drinks unknown to him (which would be anything other than Natty Light and Taaka (rot gut) vodka).

Force feed martinis

Force feed martinis.

Once the party is fully underway, keep the chips and dip within an arm’s reach so as not to starve due to over consumption of wine. Or beer. Or vodka. Or Captain.

Be sure to have the chips and dip CLOSE

Rehydrating with sodium filled potato chips and the best dip ever Anderson Erickson French Onion (one of the best things in Iowa!).

To further the celebration, break out the cigars!

Get out the cigars

Don’t usually smoke? Have a cigar anyhow.

Partaking in cigars when one usually doesn’t smoke leads to the party clock striking midnight and lights out…almost immediately.

Snooze your brains out.

My bed buddy. Not affected by the cigar smoke but clearly happy the party is over.

One can try to sleep the Christening party off the next morning but sometimes you forget that babies get up at the ass crack of dawn. No. Matter. What.

Party pooped out .... well at least I am.

Party pooped out …. well at least I am.

And excitedly remember that babies also tend to only sleep, eat and shit the rest of the day. Score!

Just like her Auntie CBXB

Trying to be just like her Auntie CBXB with a sleep mask. Love!

And that folks is how you thrown down at a Christening.

Bless your heart.

CBXB

CBXB!

Fairy God-Mani

You know I take being a (fairy) Godmother very seriously. And it took great consideration to decide how to paint my nails for my niece and nephew’s baptism this past weekend.

blah

Matching a mani to a god-daughter’s outfit.

I decided to go with a bright pink base (for little diva B) accompanied by gray tips (for the all boy B).

blah

Perfect accessory for camo pants and a baby belly, don’t you think?

After applying a base, I painted two coats of Orly’s Oh Cabana Boy and let dry for about three minutes. Then I used one swipe of Orly’s fabulously sparkly Rock Solid on the tips, followed by Seche Vite top coat for completion.

blah

Mani-Twins

Little diva B was so engaged with my mani, she couldn’t let go of my finger (well, actually she got grabby with my bling bling diamond pinky ring – who can blame her?!).

Wouldn't let go probably not because she loved the mani but fell in love with my bling blibg pinky ring

A lover of all things sparkly already! Following in Godmother CBXB’s footsteps…look out.

It’s never too early to learn that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, right?

She’s learning from a pro.

CBXB

CBXB!

Weekend Winks – Godmother Style

What happens when you are tapped to be a Godmother? You document every. single. second.

Cray cray photo lady

Cray cray photo lady…double fisting cameras.

While my folks and I were putting the pedal to the metal to get to Iowa as fast as our Nashville rears could go, my sweet niece and nephew, B & B were anxiously awaiting our arrival (well that and their bottles – but really us).

Patiently waiting....are they here yet??

Are they here yet??

While our 2am arrival had the twins fast asleep, my always trusty bed buddy was ready for some full on snuggle action.  I will say it was a cozy bed with my mother, myself and my dogphew Gunner.

Bed buddy

My tiny bed buddy.

Bushy tailed and anything from bright-eyed on Saturday am, I introduced B to what will most certainly be a life lasting love. Tiffany & Co.

It's never too early to start the love of the little blue box now, is it?

It’s never too early to start the love of the little blue box now, is it?

The jewelry excitement made little B hungry and gave her mom a chance to bomb one of the best of the photo bombers around (click here to read about my expertise). Moi.

The seasoned photo bomber that I am...got photo bombed

I got got!

Further solidifying a bond with my god-daughter, I introduced her to gaudy jewelry that she quickly became attached to – a gal after my own heart!

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. An easy lesson!

To calm her down after taking the diamond ring chew toy away, we watched ourselves on reverse camera. Again – a girl after my own heart…

I heart me

We heart ourselves.

My nephew was rather busy acting like a Southern red neck in his camouflage pants accompanied by no shirt.

Southern style baby

Southern style baby.

Not wanting to be left out, Gunner tried his best to act like a lap dog.

Lap dog

Role playing a chihuahua. So tiny.

In celebration of all things Godly, we found a beer by Evil Twin brewing that I will now be serving at every party below the Mason Dixon Line due to its appropriate moniker…

Even More Jesus. 'Nuff said.

Even More Jesus. ‘Nuff said.

While others sipped on beer, I guzzled my bro-in-law’s cucumber martinis.

Cucumber martini...

Two cucumber slices honoring twins!

All of the ‘tinis made me sleepy and I was happy to snuggle with little B before putting her to bed.

Snuggle time!

Sleeping beauties. Well, at least one of us anyhow.

Sunday morning found my sister’s living room in need of a dust, so I kindly obliged.

Yes. I always wear a dress when I house clean.

Yes. I always wear a dress when I clean house. Don’t you?

Upon wearing holy water and a seersucker suit (it’s a sea sucker suit if you ask my sister), B decided it was rough being the center of attention during church.  Therefore, he found it necessary to pass out in the pew.

blah

No wonder the song’s called “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.”

But B was ready to par-tay after arriving home and greeting well-wishing guests.

How can you not smile when seeing this photo?

Giggly charmer.

With a nine-hour drive behind me, I arrived to my house with this greeting Monday evening…

Last ditch attempt with a strong paw

Where the hell have you been?!

I have a feeling I will be paying for my short Iowa trip for the rest of this week (as I kicked my Tuesday off at 4:47am due to my growling, howling bear).

Wish me luck – I’m going to need it.

CBXB

CBXB!

Weekend Winter Winks

Oh the weather outside was frightful but getting to the twins was delightful!

Worth the wait!

Before leaving Nashville, Cousin Teddy (CT) demanded to help sort and wrap all of the gifts I acquired for proper spoiling.

Actually he’s a little pissed none of this madness is for him.

Box Approved

Making use of himself as dead weight.

CT was awfully jealous of the wardrobe choices I selected for the twins – it had his blood boiling.

Aunts Rocks!

Outfitted aunt attire for three, six and twelve months!

Skull'n'Socks

A little CBXB action for tiny feet.

Tit for Tat

And stylin’ outerwear for twin treats!

Packing up the ‘sleigh’ proved hard to do…

Smush

Leaving little room for a derriere or two.

The wind whipped and twirled…

She's Like the Wind

Gone with the….

And with that, the ice and snow whirled quickly over the roads, making travel treacherous in the night’s cold.

Real Ice

Snow plows prohibited from the roads due to weather conditions, we were forced to pull over with no intentions .

Real Snow Plow

We unpacked half the sleigh for an eight-hour stay,

One Night Stand

Yes, it takes eight bags for three people to primp to meet twins.

But all of the traveling paid off the next day!

First Kiss!

Love at first smooch.

I discovered a little diva during my stay –

No Photos Please

No photos, please!

And thanks to family and dear friends, a shower went underway.

Gifts Galore

Plenty of room on the ride home!

A questionable stylish choice for an aunt –  who was happy working and burping the day away.

Modern Day Carrie Bradshaw

Modern Day Carrie Bradshaw.

Feeding and snuggling the babies was an easy treat,

Bottoms Up!

But I saved some love for big brother Gunsie – I didn’t want him to think I was a cheat.

Favorite Puppy

Gunsie and Aunt Juicy

While Gpa was promising “spotted Indian ponies,” (which with further investigating turned out to be spotted horses, FYI), “Mustangs (yes, the car) and promises galore,”

Pony Promises

I braved the frigid air to get to my favorite store.

Snow Pile!

A trip to Von Maur makes every Iowa journey complete but being away from the babies was no small feat!

Von Maur Must Haves

And while it was doubly hard to say good-bye,

Happy Morning!

I had my own Nashville baby waiting on me,  just barely getting by.

Missing Mom?

Yeah, he really missed me.

Still warming up from the Iowa cold, my heart grew three sizes for the little souls I now love.

CBXB

CBXB!