Weekend Winks – Rapegate, Pool Parties and Fang Fingers

You guys really know how to help a gal when she’s down and out! The overflowing abundance of support from my Rapegate post restored any questionable faith in humanity I may have had prior to posting. Not only was writing about the trauma cathartic for me, as now the matter is out in the open and I can talk about it, but also I didn’t expect the feelings of relief – conflicted with a little bit of fear when I hit the ‘publish’ button on the post.

What’s a gal who likes to celebrate do with mixed emotions and feelings of waves as large of a tsunami? She cracks open a bottle of champs given to her by gal pal Saving Grace (I was saving it for a momentous occasion – and this felt like one) while bawling and laughing at the same time. Yes, I’m still a hot mess.

Cheers to the release of yesteryear! Oh, and of course, FUCK 2016.

The outpouring of your support – my army that each and every one of you reading right now is a part of – lifted me up so high, so fast I just can’t thank you enough for the kind words, comments, messages, cards, letters, sharing of your own traumas, calls, texts and visits. While I might be Captain Sparkly Pants, you all have been nothing short of soldiers supporting one of their own. For that, I thank the fuck out of you.

Every single portion of Rapegate has been riddled with road bumps. So it’s onward and upward as I move forward, navigating unknown terrain even to my Sex Crimes Detective. We’ll get that worked out, I’m sure.

The wrong woman was fucked. Literally and figuratively.

Warm fuzzies are creeping back into the cracks of my emotions. My heart swelled a little when my phone reminded me over the weekend of cherished moments my sister and Gma shared on the last days of our grandma’s life. Of course, I had a picture of my stank-eyed pussy Ted, too, from that day.

Three of my favorite peeps still today.

When I texted the photos to my sister, we talked about how fast it’s gone – feeling like maybe it should be the first year.

It’s true. In two years, our extended family has gone through two divorces, a birth (yay!), rape (that’d be mine), cancer (that’d be Aunt Crazy Pants), a cross-country move for a cousin….just to name a few.

While reminiscing over the last two years, Facebook had an amusing memory from five years ago of Dada CBXB and I having a patio party, after we’d done some planting (in pots, to which didn’t make of course).

Funny, we already had plans to ‘decorate’ my mini manse loggia (fancy word I learned from a previous, rich employer that means back porch as I kept saying back porch and she kept correcting me that it was a loggia). So we hit up the flower hot spot for ferns, all pink flowers and some sort of palm thing that is going to go great with my pink flamingo (of course a gal like me has plant accessories before the actual plant).

Green thumbs galore.

Because that thirty minutes was so exhausting, we spent the rest of the day playing at the pool.

Fun fun in the sun.

My favorite pussy also likes to relax in the rays but I just can’t help myself and have to take a picture. This is always the glare I get when I get caught mid snap.

Resting bitchy face with a case of the side eye.

Wanna know what those two Iowa twins are up to? Well, first off they have graduated from pre-school.

Get out the caps and gowns.

Naturally, this meant celebrating was in order and they didn’t hate one minute of it.

Starting with snow cones.

Celebration splash pad style.

Their parents even took them to see where it all began. At the bar in Iowa City, where my sister approached her future husband at the very booth below for a cigarette (obviously the trashtacular classiness runs in the family). He didn’t smoke (neither did she) but it all worked out and here we are today…

Taking it back to where all of the magic began.

Being that they’d visited a festival, Princess B had to get her face painted – and clearly thought it was poorly done as you can see from the photo below.

Hello gorgeous.

Graduating from pre-school also calls for dessert.

Sweets for the sweets.

Dessert that was good to the last drop.

Yep. Definitely takes after her aunt CBXB.

Something else seeping back in through the cracks of this gal is nail painting and t-shirt bedazzling. Nashville’s NHL team, the Nashville Predators have made it to the Stanley Cup finals (for those of you who don’t know hockey – it’s like the Superbowl. For those of you who don’t know what that is, just look at the nails and sparkly shirt below) for the first time ever in our franchise’s history. I joined in on the fanfare with Predator colored nails and blinged up a shirt to boot.

Fang Fingers is what the crowd does here in Nashville when the opposing team has to go to the penalty box. They play the music from the shower scene in Psycho and fans seriously stand there and move two fingers from both hands in a clawing motion. We may look like ass clowns but we don’t care. Also, I was so pumped to get this shirt because aside from getting to see our mascot Gnash come down from the ceiling before every game, I can’t ever wait to do Fang Fingers.

All out sparkle for my fave Cinderella NHL team.

The Predators were on no one’s radar and have had the heart, fight and spirit of Nashville behind them. For real, the entire city could not be more proud. This is a photo of the main artery in Nashville on game day. It stemmed from the stadium with an overflow of people who couldn’t get in to the game (due to the insane ticket prices) down ten blocks to the river. Not to mention the packed bars and restaurants.

Game day in Smashville.

While the Preds are behind in the series 2-1, you can help cheer them on with me at 7pm CST on NBCSN.  They whooped some ass on Saturday with final score being 5-1. Badasses.

Speaking of badass, here’s how I pumped up my mental state closing out the weekend.

The inner badass is coming back…

You guys are my badasses. My army of badasses. I love each and every one of you.

Hooah!

CBXB

CBXB!

Gold Dipped Digits

A little afternoon pick-me-up never hurts, especially if your mani matches your mug.

Missoni for Target tea cup inspired nails.

Missoni for Target tea cup complimenting my nails.

I thought winter wasn’t a time for bright white (as I look about as pasty as a malnourished Cinderella and the colorless hue could possibly add to the dull of my skin) but I felt inspired after seeing Kitt Noir’s accent nail on Instagam and decided to put my own spin on the look.

duo

OPI nail polish in Glow Up Already and Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear in White On.

After one swipe of base, I applied two coats of White On and once semi-dry, I tipped my talons with a thick strip of Glow Up Already (this has to be my all-time favorite name of a nail polish thanks to many ex-boyfriends). Topping the entire mani off with a stroke of Seche Vite Dry Fast Top Coat (the best you’ll ever use) on each nail, I was happily satisfied with the look.

Even more delighted with how the mani complimented my cup.

smile

Oh it’s close to happy hour…

My cup that’s filled with all kinds of fun on a Monday afternoon…

It's five o'clock somewhere.

It’s five o’clock somewhere.

Skinny Pirate, anyone?

CBXB

CBXB!

Confessions of a Shopaholic

The fabulous Marisa from Wear Your Vitamins (go check her blog out now – great make up application tips, healthy alternatives and honest reviews on beauty products) tagged me in Confessions of a Shopaholic, which is a fun little cyber game of tag. So here we go…

Do you consider yourself a shopaholic?

Oh hells to tha yes! While I lack the dough to be a bona-fide shopaholic, I love digging for a bargain on sales racks, TJ Maxx, Target and mostly my favorite department store ever, Von Maur.

Shopping the sales rack success!

Success shopping the sales rack!

How would you classify your style?

Fuchsia. Sequins. Skulls. Leopard. Gaudy. Flamboyant. Rocker. Edgy. Jeans. Heels. Flashy, not trashy (although others would probably BEG to differ).

Girls night out attire.

Girls night out attire. Express jeans, $19.99. Target top, $17.99.

Juicy Couture collared striped shirt, $34.99.  Skull and crossbones patch purchased at Michael's, $2.99.  You don't have to be a sewing expert to adhere spice up your wardrobe. The patch shown is an iron on and takes less than five minutes to complete!

Juicy Couture collared striped shirt, $34.99. Skull and crossbones patch purchased at Michael’s, $2.99.

Who's afraid of a sequin pant? Not me!

Who’s afraid of a sequin pant? Not me! Express pant, $24.99.

Leopard 'n' Shine

Leopard print beneath clear sequins? Um, yes please! Target dress, $34.99.

What store can you not leave without buying something from?

Target. Hands down. Whether it’s shampoo, a greeting card, a Mossimo black tank (a staple in my wardrobe) or a banana. I rarely leave without a bag (which is really doing me a favor because I need plastic bags in order to scoop Ted’s litter pan. Two birds, one stone people!).

Where do you find your best deals?

Sales, sales, sales! Macy’s, Target, Von Maur, TJ Maxx, Express.

What designer are you willing to splurge on?

It’s a three-way between Alexander McQueen, Chanel and Louis Vuitton. McQ is all about the skulls baby (I feel like the designs were sometimes created with yours truly in mind – as if). I also crave the luxury and glamour of Chanel – and received a pair of booties from my fairy god mother earlier this year (read about it, click here). And Louis…oh Louis….I ran a marathon (yes a full f’n 26.2 miles) in a bet to obtain a Louis Vuitton purse (that saga will be posted another day).

In all of their black and white patent leather shine.

Caution: May cause an extreme strut.

Do you have a go-to shopping outfit?

Jeans. Always. In the winter, my kick-ass Coach motorcycle boots (waaaaay expensive but have worn approximately 268 days per year for the last five years. Worth it!). Summer time calls for Tory Burch flops (I scored at a deep discount shoe store).

In lieu of the old fashioned shit kickers, I've opted for "I think I can kick your ass" motorcycle boots.

My alternative shit kickers.

Look cute while side stepping the pig manure!

Tory Burch flip flops, $29.99.

What is your guilty pleasure?!

I’m a beauty product whore. I love trying new things – different colored lipsticks (love MAC pigments), eye shadows (Urban Decay is my fave brand), lip gloss (just found my new love that doubles as a lip stain as well as a gloss – LIP TAR), foundations (Too Faced BB Cream is my new fave and I adore Make Up For Ever HD foundation), nail polish (OPI, China Glaze are my faves)….this list could go on for days.

LIP TAR. 100% Vegan, cruelty free and one application lasts all day. Sephora,

LIP TAR. 100% vegan, cruelty free and one application lasts all day. Sold in sets or separately at Sephora.

hd foundation

Make Up For Ever HD foundation – complexion saver!

What is the one piece of clothing you can’t live without?

Jeans. Period.

Of course leopard jeans never hurt.

Of course leopard jeans never hurt.

Who is your style icon?

Gwen Stefani – love her L.A.M.B. line.

L.A.M.B. leather wrist watch purchased years ago at TJ Maxx for $89.99.

Below are my tags – if you’re not listed and want to play, consider yourself tagged and join in on the fun.

Tag you’re it!

Enchanted Seashells

Love Your Clothes, Love Yourself

Sechys Diary

Sweenee Style

Bewitchery

Here are the questions for you to copy and paste.

Do you consider yourself a shopaholic?

How would you classify your style?

What store can you not leave without buying something from?

Where do you find your best deals?

What designer are you willing to splurge on?

Do you have a go-to shopping outfit?

What is your guilty pleasure?!

What is the one piece of clothing you can’t live without?

Who is your style icon?

So there are my confessions. Guilty as charged!

CBXB

CBXB!

Egg-cellent Easter Mani

A little pink on pink like flower petals just in time for the cute bunny (and all of that Easter chocolate he leaves behind this Sunday).

candy

My nails are jewels, not tools so someone is gonna have to unwrap my peanut butter cups for me.

After applying a base coat, I did two rounds of OPI in Flashbulb Fuchsia and topped the tips with OPI in Merryberry Mauve glitter top coat.  Using a sparkly polish for the French tip is much more forgiving than a solid color, FYI – so even you folks with shaky hands can master this mani.

OPI polishes in Flashbulb Fuchsia and MerryBerry Mauve glitter top coat.

My kind of eggs.

I think the bunny will appreciate the pink bling, don’t you?

CBXB

CBXB!

Beached Nails

While sitting high atop my plastic beach chair, I looked like I was trying to be the queen of this freshly built sandcastle.

Dig this mote.

Diggin’ this entryway.

Especially as I kept admiring my recently painted nails with new polish from the jolly man in the red suit.

Doesn't the ocean make everything look better?

Doesn’t the ocean make everything look better?

My manicure started out with the typical two colors in French mani style…

This is how first ended up

Booooring. So last year.

Not being satisfied, I decided to try my new black Milani nail art (which was new to me but old to everyone else, as it had a clearance sticker on the package).

Three times a charm.

Much more Miami ready mani.

One coat of base, followed by two coats of China Glaze’s Purple Panic Neon (this is a very cool matte color all on its own), and one thick silver coat of OPI’s DS Radiance for the tips. Once dry, I went back and ran a thin strip of black between the pink and silver with Milani’s Black Sketch and finished with one coat of Seche Vite top coat (best ever).

Triple threat.

Triple threat.

My mani dreams were rudely interrupted when some of the kids on the beach asked if I could help complete this sandcastle.

all play

Beautiful sand art meant for me to admire from afar.

I simply held my polished nails up and said, “Jewels, not tools.”

They got the point.

CBXB

Merry Martini Mani

In celebration of the Christmas…

Red nails, gold tips

Red nails, gold sparkle tips

blah

Matching stemware with a manicure is so popular (with me) right now.

blah

Two coats of OPI’s Dear Santa red  hue for the base, followed by two thin coats of OPI’s Glow Up Already for the tips.

If gold sparkle is a little to flashy, what about a more traditional Christmas nail (although it’s still a very loud color combo)?

A red with a green tip

Red nails, green tips matches the strawberry in my martini. Obnoxious, yes but I don’t care!

Red and green

Apply two coats of Orly’s Star Spangled followed by one thick coat of Nicole’s Fell From the Tree on the tips.

And now you’re fabulously set for the many martinis Christmas requires one drink.

CBXB