Weekend Winks – Super Twins, Super Friends, Super Bowl

Anyone else feel the wrath of the Polar Vortex last week? Living in Nashville, it was just a touch chillier than usual. But my where my Iowa twins reside it was a balmy -51…and that was the actual temperature, not the wind chill. Busting out of the house on Friday night made for two happy kids (and two happier parents).

Cheering on their cousin at a basketball game.

With blue tongues.

While the twins were cheering being out of the house during the Polar Vortex, I was watching the Iowa Hawkeyes basketball team school a fifth ranked Michigan. An unranked Hawk team won with a score of 74-59. God I love a rush to the court.

ON IOWA.

I’ve been meaning to give the Mini Manse a facelift since I’ve been letting everything pile up in the three years since Rapegate. Now that I’m back to giving fucks about everything, it was time to roll up my sparkly sleeves and get to work. I decided to start with The Pussy Posse wing, which I am also converting into an office Carrie Bradshaw style (you know, since I will have a martini by my side while I’m writing).

Disaster area.

As you can see, I had my work cut out for me. Basically, it looked like I was removing into the Mini Manse instead of reorganizing. My Posse couldn’t have been more excited for the overhaul.

So helpful.

In other animal news, my side hustle is pet sitting and I finally have a logo. With Hawkeye colors and a crown, could it be more fitting?

Pet Sitter Extraordinaire.

Mama CBXB provided an organizing break on Saturday morning with a much needed mimosa.

Respite from reorganizing.

While brunching, I was reminded of a long, lost pet peeve I hadn’t seen in many moons. Does it bother anyone else when parties of two sit on the same side? It makes my skin crawl for some reason.

Why can’t I just let people eat in peace?

After carb loading, it was back to finishing the cat room and it turned out swimmingly (if you like all things cat and also don’t mind memorials to my lost fur ball loves, fittingly stored in cocktail shakers and a disco ball for Ted).

 

Yes. I know you think I’m crazy. No, I don’t give a fuck.

After the finishing touches on the organizing, it was time to relax.

Some of my fave gal pals from the ‘hood came over to bitch, moan, celebrate, laugh and lean on each other.

Nothing better than gal pals.

Galentine’s Day prep.

Sunday marked a sad sports day for me. The official end of football season. However, I am much more of a college football fan than an NFL lady but still, I have to wait until August for my beloved sport to start again.

See ya later Tailgater.

While I loathe the fucking Patriots (don’t forget Bill Belichick released my dad from the Baltimore Colts back in the day – oh, and that video camera in opposing teams’ locker rooms still seems a lot like fucking cheating to me). However, between both teams combined playing in the Super Bowl, my Iowa Hawkeyes had the most players of any other college representing.

The Patriots have four former Hawkeyes total on their team. Adrian Clayborn and James Ferentz are on the roster, while Cole Croston and Riley McCarron are on the practice squad. The Rams sport two former Hawks, starting guard Austin Blythe and Henry Krieger-Coble on the practice squad. Not a bad turnout from one college program, huh?

Dada CBXB and I decided to forgo our usual tailgating snacks for a Chili’s enchilada platter and it did not disappoint in the slightest.

Um…I’m still eating on this today when I was starting a diet on Monday…

Filler up for a snoozefest of a defensive game.

While I was rooting for the Rams, I will always be happy to see former Hawkeyes achieving great feats.

One of my all time fave Hawks and my all time fave coach, celebrating.

It was even cooler that Coach Ferentz’s son also will be receiving a Super bowl ring.

Iowa girl through and through.

Lastly, I learned news yesterday of a spunky, feisty, young, bad ass mother of two who has been given a diagnosis none of us want. She’s got an army around her but I ask you to send your magic, juju, positivity and whatever else you can muster her way.

FUCK CANCER.

CBXB

CBXB!

How to Rescue a Pussy!

Last week I told you about a babysitting post I found from a hillbilly named Daryhul (in his own words, Bibbysiter Avaelable) on Craigslist (click here to view entire ad). While Daryhul seemed to lack the skills and expertise of grammar, spelling and the ability to use his brain, I thought I’d give him a whirl in watching my fur ball Teddy B. because the dude looked like so much fun (plus, I needed time away from unpacking my new mini manse).

All aboard to Daryhul's house (or rather, shack).

All aboard to Daryhul’s house (or rather, shack).

I mean, how could Ted not be happy residing in the bib of these overalls?

Look kids, no hands.

Snug as a bug in a…well, maybe not rug but scratchy denim material.

Apparently Mr. Bear didn’t agree and sent psychic signals to his buddies Zak, Roxy and Moe who we sometimes read about on our buddy David A. Vudragovich’s blog. Here’s what David had to say about his attempts at rescuing Ted from Daryhul’s bib overalls…

Teddy’s Great Rescue!

So our hero Teddy the Magnificent (close resemblance to stunt double in picture below) has been left at the craigslist.com Bibbysiter! GASP! THE HORROR!

what we are trying to save Teddy from...but since this image was on google images...we may already be too late!

What we are trying to save Teddy from…but since this image was on Google images…we may already be too late!

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One of his nine lives dangerously close to being stored in overalls while his human was off enjoying too many blue mason jars with Kitty, Muffy and Ellie Mae!

And this is where you join the story.

Cowboys and Crossbones (CBXB) has offered to let me finish Teddy, the Supreme Fluffy’s story and daring rescue, which will involve my three feline masters (yes, I admit, I live to serve the fuzzy ones, thank you for the swats)!

I have known CBXB for a bit here and I know I need to have some dramatic flair to be worthy of Teddy’s approval!

So I was going to have my three Katz bust out the heavy-duty powers of the Gods (actually just Zeus) but…I think there will be too much static in the air and I am sure you know what that does to fur! Plus their little noses will get shocked, completely unacceptable.

From Google Images (Just to kitten cute)

From Google images (Just too kitten cute)!

So what to do? What other strategy is there?

I GOT IT! I can let my Kitdies (you know a combo of kitten and kiddies?) CHARGE right in! Just ignore the writing on the picture and think “CHARGE FOR TEDDY!”

Scout fartBut my three run at different speeds and there are four Katz in the photo so everything is just so wrong!

Things are starting to look desperate for Mr. Ted!

CBCB Teddy

Then I had a thought!

We can drive to Nashville and rescue the fellow Blogger Kitten from the overall clutches of Daryhul!

From Google Images

                                From Google Images

But there was still some kat nip in their systems from last night’s party and they know not to drive under the influence!

So in the end this is what happened:2013-01-12 03.12.35

Zak scowled at me for not being a better story writer.

2013-01-16 04.46.41Roxy hid in the back of the cabinet so she would not end up in overalls too!

2013-01-14 19.38.19

And Moe played spooky kat and watched me fail as a kat rescue planner (good thing I have my day job as an insurance agent to fall back on).

So I think Teddy will just have to wait for Cowboys and Crossbones to return with her friends, from being on the prowl (watch out guys), and pick him up tomorrow.

Thank you for reading and send kat nip laced thoughts to Teddy!
Dave
Logo jpeg

UPDATE!

I’m sure you’re wondering how this all ended for Teddy…

WTF were you thinking? I KNOW.

WTF were you thinking? I HATE YOU!

Yeah, it’s safe to say we won’t be using Daryhul’s bibbysitting talents anytime soon.

And I will be paying for my lapse in judgement for the next five months…

CBXB

CBXB!

How to Piss Off Your Pussy

Agreeing to look in on my neighbors trio of cats while they were away truly didn’t seem like a big deal. Until I had to tell my own feline, Teddy Bear that I was running an ‘errand’ every evening one week, interrupting our after work couch shenanigans (which consists of wine, TV, belly rubs and naps).

blah

Where do you think you’re going?

Sneaking next door, I was surrounded by little balls of fur, excited for some much-needed attention.

McCain

McCain

Smoky

Smoky

Valcor

Valcor

Being a gal that always coos over anything with fur, I happily doled out love to the three cats lined up for my affection.

Triple threat to my happy home.

Triple threat to my happy home.

But then I found myself caught up in the situation, mirroring acts that Ted adores…like chin scratches.

Wallowing in CBXB's love

Wallowing in CBXB’s love.

And treating the felines to supper…

Treated them to dinner...

My dining companions.

I’m not sure why I thought I could sleuth around behind my bear’s back without him being suspicious. I could tell by TB’s shadow he was pissed upon my return home.

Suspicious minds...

Suspicious mind…with a curled tail to prove it.

As I went to scoop him up, I could barely see anything but pupils he was so angry.

WTF were you thinking? I KNOW.

What the F were you thinking? I KNOW.

Our typical snuggle became awkward very quickly.

No amount of buttering up was going to help.

Never light as a feather but definitely stiff as a board this go ’round.

Being ever the drama puss, Ted threatened to electrocute himself by licking the bathroom light switch.

He tried to be all dramatic and electrocute himself.

Over doing it, don’t you think?

When he decided it would be better not to acquire burnt fur, I was treated to plenty of his rear view.

Rear view...

Seems to translate as “kiss my ass Mom.”

In a sheer moment of genius, I knew what was going to bring my bear back around.

Kryptonite

Ted’s version of kryptonite.

In less than two seconds, I had this fur ball eating tuna off of his favorite lip plate (I’d have tried the palm of my hand but wanted to keep all of my fingers in tact).

Lip service

Lip service.

Soon after we’d assumed our typical positions back on the couch.

Look of forgiveness?

Look of forgiveness…

or revenge...

or revenge?

We’ll find out soon enough, won’t we?

Good deeds never go unpunished (at least when Mr. Bear is involved).

CBXB

CBXB!