Weekend Winks – Griswold Style

I started my weekend off on the wrong paw by showing Ted my friend Phil Lanoue’s handy work – as he put me on the cover of Vogue magazine (because he felt awfully sorry for yours truly, as my little fur ball is garnering all sorts of national attention (in our minds) with his appearances in Times Square and on Jumbotrons).

Ted's pissed!

Who’s that girl?

Well, when I showed Ted my teeny, tiny amount of notoriety, he was pissed. And sulked all evening on a plastic grocery sack. Drama King.

Can't be bothered to help

I’m the center of this universe, dammit!

So while Ted pouted away, I thought it would be a good idea and make all kinds of friends at my new mini manse by becoming the resident Clark Griswold of my new neighborhood.

Gonna be the Clark Griswold of the neighborhood!

Fully loaded with lights.

Of course I couldn’t handle such a task all by my lonesome and my folks were happy to assist (well, really my mom and I started by assisting my dad but you get the point).  The first order of business was figuring out how in the hell to load the staple gun. After about 28 minutes of confusion, my dad concluded you load the staples from the bottom (WTF?), instead of the traditional way of loading them on top.

How the hell...

How the hell…

Then my not so tiny dad hopped up on a step stoop that got wobblier by the second…I wasn’t sure if I would be able to catch him if a screw popped out.

As Dad was stapling the electric cords, he had a peanut gallery of one giving direction (and not being annoying. At all).

No, that's not how you do it.

No, that’s not how you do it.

After about three seconds of me barking orders, we switched positions.

I got this...

I got this…

Wait, this nail?

Wait, this nail? Or that one? TELL ME!

Mom got the fortunate position of untangling the strings of lights.

Made mon Russ

Lucky light lady!

Fortunately no injuries were acquired while hanging the lights but I almost had my arm pulled out of my socket dismounting from the step stool.

No, no I don't.

Damsel in distress!

Damnsel in distress

That’s OK, the shoulder can pop back into place with ease. Right?

While it wasn’t dark enough to enjoy the fruits of our labor just yet, we could tell this was going to be one fabulous party patio!

all light up wth no darkness

Hurry up darkness, we need to see our creation in all of its glory.

The Nashville light crew became ultra jealous at the picture of our little bebes in Iowa floating their cares away in a pool.  I’m such a shitty host for forgetting to get my inflatable pool out. DUH.

Bathing beauties

Bathing beauties.

I tried to make up for the fact that my folks and I were sweating our asses off with no plastic pool to jump into by serving some chilly cocktails. Only when I went to serve them I hit a wall. A round, furry wall who wasn’t about to budge his pudgy ass off of the tray.

Cattail anyone?

Cattail anyone?

Doing without the fancy red tray, I was able to soak in Skinny Pirates and the party atmosphere on my newly spruced up Griswold deck.

No lights in the neighborhood went out

Clark would be proud, don’t you think?

This is only the beginning. Wait until I put the rest of my lights around my deck posts.

My neighbors are going to be in all kinds of love with me.

Have a fabulous week, my friends!

CBXB

CBXB!

Pussy Love!

Teddy, my famous feline has been gracing his presence on Jumbotrons at firework parties and big screens in Times Square (thanks to the talents of Phil Lanoue over at Phil Lanoue Photography – one of our best blogging buddies), gaining all kinds of human fans. But Phil captured a very telling photo that may be a sneak peek into Mr. Bear’s future celebrity status…

Ah, young pussies lusting over Ted, who can hardly be bothered to care.

Who needs puppy love?

All of the feline fawning over TB is going to break some kitty hearts (if you need advice on how to mend a cat’s broken heart, click here).  But who can blame pussies all over the world falling in love after seeing this…

BIG screen action shot.

Big pimpin’.

Or this…

He hasn't come down from this cloud yet...

Surrounding his adoring fans in NYC.

I’m pretty sure Ted will be on the cover of Cat Fancy Magazine (with a full photo spread, so owners can tear out a photo of Teddy to hang above cat food bowls…or above their beds, where they can lick him before they go to sleep – not unlike what I used to do with a poster of Joey McIntyre) one day soon. This will pretty much seal his famous fate and after his first talk show appearance on The Ellen Degeneres Show, he will be the new face of her cat food brand, Halo. I know, I know – you’re thinking I’m best stage mom ever.

I’ll be shooing the legions of TB’s fur ball fans (sure to show up at our mini-manse door any minute now) and the catarazzi (those photo snapping bastards that His Royal Famousness and I will pretend to hate but secretly LOVE) away with a rolled up newspaper or maybe a squirt bottle full of water.

But not before each one purchases a pawtograph, of course.

CBXB

CBXB!

Ted and His Big Head

Remember how Teddy made his debut in Times Square a few months back (if not, click here to read), forever securing his spot on the Kitty Wall of Fame (well, maybe he’s not there yet but he’s getting there, OK)?

He hasn't come down from this cloud yet...

He hasn’t come down from this cloud yet…

Phil Lanoue (one of our blogging besties), who originally captured Mr. Bear in all of his NYC glory has found a way to grossly enlarge my kit cat’s furry noggin again.  While Ted was less than impressed with watching Fourth of July fireworks on TV due to a soggy Nashville, Phil (who took time out from photographing wildlife like alligators to cater to His Royal Famousness, Teddy Back Bear) figured out a way to entice this grouchy cat by putting him right on the Jumbotron, smack dab in the middle of a fireworks display. Upon seeing himself, TB almost immediately (it took Bear about five seconds to lift his head up after I told him to look at the gigantic TVs) demanded a belly rub for his daunting appearance (being famous is such hard work) and this feline was back in the saddle full of attitude.

BIG screen action shot.

Big head due to the big screen.

While Mr. Bear has become a known Nashville star (I’m such a proud Mama), he thought he could act a little Justin Bieberesque and rudely stick out his tongue. Teenagers!  But still, he’s just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen during a Fourth of July show, right? RIGHT?

It’s a good thing we’ve just moved to a larger mini-manse because the bigger rooms allow Ted to enter with his now elephant sized head.  And no, Katie Couric nor Ellen DeGeneres have called (yet) to feature this amazingly talented (looks count as a talent, yes?) feline on their talk shows but when they do, Teddy is more than ready as he has perfected his pawtograph.

I’m thinking a $10 fee is a reasonable fee for a paw print (Phil, you get one for free), don’t you?

I’m gonna be the best stage mom ever. Just like Dina Lohan. Or maybe I mean Kris Jenner.

Either way look out world, here we come!

CBXB

CBXB!

Ted in Times Square!

It’s true! Teddy is a gigantic star!

My furry feline is beyond famous (in our two brains) now thanks to the photo magic of one of my blogging besties, Phil Lanoue, who created this picture for our entertainment (and healthy ego bump for a cat who didn’t need any help in that department).

Teddy was so flattered at Phil’s thoughtfulness, he started to do a back flip (momentarily forgetting how truly lazy he is) when he saw himself on the big screens but decided to demand a belly rub instead. This cat’s head is now as big as a lion’s and yet he still sounds like a goat when he meows (making him all the more special, right?).

Meeeow adoring fans!

Meeeow adoring fans!

I wonder who will call first…The Today Show? The Ellen DeGeneres Show? Maybe this will bring Oprah back to daytime TV? Oh, the possibilities seem endless!  I wonder if Phil Lanoue Photography will have to take a small hiatus from shooting fantastic wildlife shots in order to keep up with the demand for fresh pics of Ted? Hopefully he won’t regret creating this madness.

Now I’m impatiently waiting for the phone to start ringing off the hook as Ted is busy beautifying each strand of fur one by one.

But wait, we both just had a thought…

How will Teddy give his pawtograph?!

CBXB

CBXB!