Last weekend, I thew a f’ugly sweater Christmas party for my lady friends (no boys allowed, as my mini manse isn’t yet large enough to accommodate both sexes). This was one of the easiest themed parties I’ve ever put together, as everything can be gaudy (my MO), trashy and anything but classy.
So here are my rules for throwing a CBXB style fucking ugly sweater party.
Rule #1: Create a photo op.
Luckily for me, my friend Camo is pretty handy when it comes to hardware and he agreed to build a place where us gals could capture all of our ugliness.
Rule #2: Have a hostess with the mostess outfit.
My mom and I morphed into Nashville’s version of Tina Knowles and Beyonce, as she handcrafted my outfit with bows, velcro and a helluva lot of spandex.
Rule #3: Put the finishing touches on your gaudy decor.
My mini manse is pretty sparkly even when it’s not the holidays but naturally I add more shit when it’s time to par-tay. And you should too.
Rule #4: Prep the most important of the party – the bar.
Always offer a signature cocktail to guests. This year I featured a grape martini accompanied by snazzy boxed wine, Jell-O shots (you know, keeping it classy) and beer.
Rule #5: Force every guest to down a Jell-O shot (or five).
This will increase the fun that everyone thinks they’re already having.
Rule #6: Put the photo op to good use.
Be the first to enter the finely decorated piece de resistance and then never leave so you’re sure to be in every single photo.
Rule #7: Invite a Mad Hatter for party entertainment.
Everyone knows a person who will up the ante of party fun and you need to be sure they’re available to come to your shindig.
Rule #8: Have a contest with prizes.
No costume party is complete without a contest. In this case there was a prize for Pretty F’ugly, Kinda F’ugly and SO F’ugly.
Not only did my gal pal wear a vest crafted from kitty cat material, she gussied up her face with the most gigantic glasses on the planet and did a throw back to late ’80s hair.
Rule #9: Take a wild photo with guests and the party will REALLY begin.
Jell-O shots consumed, three martinis in and women were ready to rock my mini manse.
Rule #10: Beware of any party food topped with dark blue frosting.
Too much food coloring and your guests may wake up the next morning like this…
And that my friends is how you throw an ultra non-classy fucking ugly sweater party.
Now go get your f’ugly on!