Weekend Winks – Party On!

‘Tis the season to get shitfaced…

Holly jolly drunk girls.

This weekend was filled with parties galore and while I am never one to say no to an invitation, I was lucky enough to be hosting both. On Friday, our company party was once again held at the Fontanel Mansion (where Barbara Mandrell and her family used to reside). Being that she was my idol, I always feel the need to pinch myself when I get to primp in what was once her actual bathroom.

OMG! CBXB mania in Babs’ bathroom.

While fooling around at the gun range in the basement (yes, this mansion has a gun range that happens to house the four-wheeler Gretchen Wilson used in her “Redneck Woman” video), I had to photo bomb a perfectly precious picture, naturally.

Mama CBXB telling me Santa is watching and I’ll be naughty listed. Whatevs.

Although I refrained from trying any of Barbara’s dresses on this year (I shoved my ass in one last year of course) I did try to swim on top of the pool that was covered in plastic.

Pool party anyone?

While I was extremely busy being a hostess with the mostess, my twins in Iowa were taking in their first parade.

Taking this parading shit seriously.

And Auntie CBXB was in recovery Saturday morning as Princess B ate all of the frosting that was supposed to go on her Christmas cookie.

A gal after my own heart.

Party prep was underway all Saturday at my mini manse as I was hosting a ladies ugly sweater party. My outfit was complete thanks to velcro and bows minutes before the start.

Side One.

Rear view.

Mismatched tablecloths helped set the ugly tone.

Decor gone wild.

Thankfully my pink tinsel tree is so gaudy it can be inserted with any party theme and fit right in.

Ugly or fabulous? You be the judge.

The photo-op was set and ready to be manhandled by girls galore.

All dressed up with no one at home.

I forced welcomed mama CBXB to stay and party the weekend away with me.

Hostess #1 and #2.

As the shindig started, grand entrances were made by every guest.

The Grand Marshall of grand entrances.

Usual suspects arrived one by one to my mini manse door.

Loving on some First Mate.

The Queen of Jell-O shots was sure everyone had a chance to consume one (or 12) of the gelatinous goodness.

Don’t let her sweet smile fool you – you WILL be taking a Jell-O shot whether you like it or not.

My favorite male made an appearance to snoop be our designated photographer.

Dad never fails to make a party more fun.

Pretty sure he also came so that I could serve him Easy Cheese straight from the can.

Easy does it.

You know at a party full of women a few selfies were snapped.

Selfie 1,892,391 of the evening.

And photos of selfies were also captured.

We can’t get enough of ourselves.

A party of mine isn’t complete without a contest and the winner of the ugliest outfit showed up in a cat vest accompanied by a Teddy Bear pin. So this outfit winning was a no brainer. Well that and she looked truly heinous thanks to her threads.

My sizzle reel gal pal takes home the top prize.

All in all one fabulously festive evening with some of the best gals on the planet.

I wish we knew how to have fun.

I do have a feeling that my grape martinis ended up making some of my friends feel stupendous on Sunday morning…

Hello Sunday. I hate you.

But luckily for me, I recovered with the best breakfast a hungover gal could ask for…Easy Cheese.

Brunch ‘n’ munch.

Here’s hoping you have a party or two to attend this holiday season. If not, I’ll be giving you tips on how to throw your own ugly sweater soiree tomorrow.

Cheers!
CBXB

 

Weekend Winks – Sparkly Seasonal Style

Shoe shopping, snoozing, and a sparkly pink Christmas tree accompanied by a little Whitney Houston rounded out my Nashville shenanigans this past weekend.

Leopard and zebra print go hand in hand, yes?

Friday night found the mall screaming my name and while there I fell in lust with sparkly, leopard print wedge sandals.  Pretty sure these were going to find a home on a shelf in my shoe closet, I still needed to give them a test walk. Problem was my skinny jeans were so tight that I couldn’t pull my knee-high socks off, which resulted in a look that will surely become the fashionable rage this winter season.

Single-handedly starting a new trend.

As I pranced up and down the aisles, I came across a rather exhausted dad who was hogging the bench where I needed to rest my weary ass.

Teenage daughters are draining.

Gift with purchase? No thanks.

Since there was no room at the Shoe Snoozing Inn, I high tailed it to the nearest restaurant to rest my weary paws. Which of course included cocktails (how can one possibly rest without libations?).

Nashville’s most beautiful thirst quencher.

Ted and I were able to be lazy on Saturday morning, as we had no Hawkeye football to look forward to due to a bye week, although he was seriously underwhelmed by my computer’s presence in bed.

Handy assistant snuggled down with emails.

My bestie from college has a rather unhealthy adoration of a Whitney Houston t-shirt. She wore this white top acquired from a concert in her youth so much, it appeared dingy gray when I first met her forever ago.

A once white Whitney t-shirt that’s now vintage…most likely causing Ms. Houston to roll over in her grave.

Said Whitney lover just had a gorgeous princess a few months back and much to my delight on Saturday, I received a pic confirming that the “Greatest Love of All” singer would be adored by the next generation.

Like mother, like daughter … forced by mother.

Mr. Bear was able to move from the bed to his Pussy Palace where he thought the day would pass along quietly. And he was sorely mistaken.

Hanging out in the PP…literally.

What does a non-moonshine, football-less (i.e. no Iowa Hawkeyes or Tennessee Titans games) weekend mean for CBXB? Putting up the Christmas tree of course (what all normal gals do with their cat on a Saturday evening in November, right? And for all of you folks who are groaning that it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, just chill). And Teddy had to inspect every. single. aspect. of this activity.

Every nook of the box.

And every cranny of the lid.

Tedstar immediately took a front row seat to the festivities and refused to move, as I tried to construct the 6′ pink tinsel (be still my beating heart) tree. Such a helpful pussy.

Taking it all in while not lifting a paw.

My fur ball did get off his lazy ass when it came time to throw the lights on the tree.

I was hoping he didn’t join the fried pussy cat from “Christmas Vacation”…and he didn’t. Phew.

When it came time for ornaments, Bear was all smiles (well, as smiley as a cat can be) until he caught a glimpse of himself in a photo from our first Christmas together. When I so sweetly adorned him with a reindeer hat and scarf (you know, how all cats are dressed for Christmas card pics).

WHAT. THE. HELL.

It took all of two seconds for remnants of embarrassment to get Ted’s heart racing, resulting in swift removal of my beloved decoration.

De-ornamenting the tree.

He then decided to stand guard, ensuring that the mortifying pic would not make it back onto the tree.

Over my furry body that f’ing photo will be displayed.

Feeling not at all bad, I thought it best to make up with the little furry love of my life. To no avail.

Room for me under the tree? Nope.

While Teddy sulked away his humiliation (he’s such a little bitch), I finished my pride and joy with a few Skinny Pirates assisting me.

Up and glowing.

And for all of you on the edge of your seats, worried about the status of Mr. Bear and myself…well, we kissed and made nice.

After I got a very stern talking to…and almost lost a chunk of my schnoz.

I’m happy to report all of our body parts remain in tact today – although I’m guess I’ll be a few less once we take our Christmas card photo in a few weeks.

Happy Monday!

CBXB