How to Give a Trashy Gift From the Heart

Know someone who has had a particularly shitty year? Well, do I have a cheap and easy gift idea for you!

Being the classy lady (it is white trash Wednesday here at CBXB after all), one of my life’s mantras is “SUCK IT.”

My entire year of 2010, one gigantic black cloud followed me daily, pouring buckets of disaster over my head.  I lost my job, ended a six-year relationship, moved out of the house we’d shared for five years and moved in with my parents (every adult’s dream) all in one January week.

After all of that fun, I fell into a depression, wound up broke, finding myself in a mountain of debt, had friends crap out on me and got taken to the cleaners so inexplicably and despicably, I could have starred in my own Lifetime movie (which I would have rocked, of course. Then I could just be the girl who shows up in every single Lifetime movie with a small role. Job of my dreams!).

So needless to say, I was beyond thrilled December 31, 2010. I couldn’t wait to tell the past year to kiss my ass, so I decided to concoct my perfect New Year’s Eve attire by making my own T-shirt.

Who knew a little glitter glue and puffy paint could make a gal so happy?!

Who knew a little glitter and glue could make a gal so happy?!

And to convey my excitement over counting down the last ten seconds of the year…

Just to convey my excitement counting backward from 10. I have such a small mouth, don't I?

I have such a small mouth, don’t I?

Although I’m still climbing my way out of financial canyons due to circumstances out of my control two year’s ago, this shirt helped me put pep back into my step. I got my happy back!

Loving my bedazzled T-shirt so much (it hangs outside of my closet as ‘art’ because I giggle every time I see it), I’ve recreated a version for friends who could use a little pick me up after their past year, in the hope it brings a chuckle. All for about $10.

Here’s what you’ll need:

Glitter fabric paint or puffy paint (yeah, it’s still around!)

Glitter for fabric (I usually stick with silver because it will show on any color)

Basic colored T-shirt

This set will cost you about $7 and last you through many DIY projects

This set will cost you about $7 and last you through many DIY projects.

I can usually find T-shirts at Target for around $6. Cheaper if they’re short-sleeved or a tank (if you choose a tank, make sure it isn’t ribbed).

Wash and dry the t-shirt before starting your painting masterpiece.

Wash and dry the shirt before starting your one of a kind masterpiece.

Put something between the shirt to keep from

Put something between the shirt to keep the glue from sticking to the back…yes, I learned the hard way.

I use a silver colored Sharpie to

I use a silver-colored Sharpie to pattern my words, so I can just retrace with puffy paint.

After you have finished with the glue, it’s time for my favorite part – piling on the glitter!

Pile on the glitter!

I let this set for a few hours before shaking the excess off.

And just like that, you’ve created a piece that will bring a smile to your buddy’s face. ‘Tis the season, right?

The end result..

Good tidings of cheer!

If this message a little too vulgar for you, please remember, one gal’s trash is another gal’s treasure.

Oh and if it’s not a gift well received?

Just tell them to SUCK IT.