Pussy Love!

Teddy, my famous feline has been gracing his presence on Jumbotrons at firework parties and big screens in Times Square (thanks to the talents of Phil Lanoue over at Phil Lanoue Photography – one of our best blogging buddies), gaining all kinds of human fans. But Phil captured a very telling photo that may be a sneak peek into Mr. Bear’s future celebrity status…

Ah, young pussies lusting over Ted, who can hardly be bothered to care.

Who needs puppy love?

All of the feline fawning over TB is going to break some kitty hearts (if you need advice on how to mend a cat’s broken heart, click here).  But who can blame pussies all over the world falling in love after seeing this…

BIG screen action shot.

Big pimpin’.

Or this…

He hasn't come down from this cloud yet...

Surrounding his adoring fans in NYC.

I’m pretty sure Ted will be on the cover of Cat Fancy Magazine (with a full photo spread, so owners can tear out a photo of Teddy to hang above cat food bowls…or above their beds, where they can lick him before they go to sleep – not unlike what I used to do with a poster of Joey McIntyre) one day soon. This will pretty much seal his famous fate and after his first talk show appearance on The Ellen Degeneres Show, he will be the new face of her cat food brand, Halo. I know, I know – you’re thinking I’m best stage mom ever.

I’ll be shooing the legions of TB’s fur ball fans (sure to show up at our mini-manse door any minute now) and the catarazzi (those photo snapping bastards that His Royal Famousness and I will pretend to hate but secretly LOVE) away with a rolled up newspaper or maybe a squirt bottle full of water.

But not before each one purchases a pawtograph, of course.



Ted’s Cheatin’ Heart

Is killing me…

So, my cat Teddy doesn’t only have eyes for his Mama. What the F? I feed, water, feed, coddle, feed, snuggle, feed, give him paw-manis AND feed him! What thanks do I get in return?

What's up Pussycat?

What’s up Pussycat?

My neighbor’s cat McCain (who is a male, therefore making Teddy gay, which I already knew – and secretly love!) stopped Ted dead in his tracks.

Just one look...that's all it took.

Just one look…that’s all it took.

But Teddy is a Mama’s Boy! He always comes running when I call (or when I have a shiny, sequins shirt on because I’m his walking disco ball.  He can chase the reflection of my sparkles up the walls – oh to be a cat) and ignores everyone else. Never me.  I assume this is how parents of human children feel when their kids start dating?  What is a mom to do?!

Is this love...that's I'm feeling?

Is this love…that’s I’m feeling?

This went on long enough for Ted to ignore me while I walked by with a tuna fish (his favorite snack) sandwich, turned the sink on (when he usually comes running for our version of cocktails), spun around my living room in my sparkly shirt like an idiot trying to catch his attention and literally act like he didn’t feel me poking my finger into his shoulder.

I’ve heard of puppy love but kitty cat love? Is that even a thing?

This staring and pawing at the window and meowing and prancing back and forth must have lasted eight whole minutes (which to me felt like eight years).

And then it happened. Teddy got dissed.

Great. Now I have to deal with cat heartache.

Great. Now I have to deal with cat heartache.

Suddenly McCain slinked away like Teddy didn’t ever mean anything to him. The nerve! My ball of fur patiently waited and waited and WAITED for this new love to come back and grace him with his presence.  But McCain never reappeared.

Slowly, Ted came crawling back onto my lap, wanting major Mama consoling. Maybe kitty cat love isn’t so bad – I mean it will never work out in the end and therefore, I will always be his hero by picking up the shattered pieces of his broken heart.

But of course I did get to rub his wet little nose in his misery by singing, “Your cheatin’ heart will make you weep…”  And then explained that cats can be so bitchy.

Ah, the perils of being a cat mom.