Weekend Winks – Smiles for Miles

There’s something about Memorial Day that makes it feel like summer has arrived. This past holiday weekend was no different. Van Waffles and I kicked off the fun with brunch at The Sutler that serves bottomless mimosas for $17. I’m sure I ruined that fabulous deal for everyone after my guzzling appearance.

I was more excited about the mimosas. Clearly.

One large group of tourists ordered four rounds of 16 shots while we were there. Four rounds of 16 shots. I can only imagine that their total bill was roughly about what I pay for rent monthly, as they were all having mimosas and food.

My Iowa twins are officially first graders! They celebrated their year in kindergarten by taking a mini vacay to Chicago.

Just a scosh excited about school being out.

Long legs in the Windy City.

Ice cream dreams.

Sometimes you forget the excitement about experiencing something for the first time. Smiles for miles about their first ride in a taxi.

It’s the little things.

Princess B got to go to the American Girl Doll store (which is apparently a rite of passage for kids when visiting Michigan Avenue). Instead of selecting a doll, she opted for a puppy which made my heart just about burst.

Mini me.

Sister CBXB was keeping me updated on the dog shopping and I about died when I received the following message.

Remind you of anyone?

Wonder where she gets it.

A very fancy piece of art was commissioned during the vacay.

Along with a fabulous view.

The fam made it back to Iowa in time for Princess B to attend her last dance class of the year.

Dancing Queen.

Speaking of last classes, I partied it up in honor of VooDoo’s baby girl who is all grown up and now a graduate.

A fabulous future lies ahead.

This was also a bon voyage party for VooDoo who is moving to Alabama in two weeks. Bittersweet but so thrilled for her new adventure.

VooDoo, Boob, First Mate and the Captain.

Because we never have any fun when we’re together, our selfie game got a little sideways. First Mate’s arms lack the length to get more than one face in the frame.

That’s Boob in the way back.

Problem solving skills get better the more booze you consume so when it was time to open the wine with no opener, another genius party goer had the best solution ever. A screw and screwdriver got us thirsty gals our vino.

Red neck wine opener.

Due to the holiday, it was important that we stocked up on libations Sunday evening on the way home from VooDoo’s partay. Although the Nashville Predators failed to make the Stanley Cup this year, the swag was still out and we took full advantage of it for photo ops.

Helmet heads.

Van Waffles was kind enough to carry our loot.

I found the purrfect liquor in which I should be the spokeswoman.

My new favorite shot.

Speaking of cats, The Pussy Posse was in full relaxation mode this weekend. Fabio helped me eat leftovers taking up space in the fridge.

Do leftovers make my body look big?

Ruby Sue lived up to her nickname Thundercunt. She tried to commit suicide by constantly walking my porch railing, she enjoyed scaring the shit our of me while opening and slamming cupboard doors, and tried to suffocate herself in a plastic bag more than once.

Who could stay made at that face?

Scooch is taking cues from Elsa Pants (who can’t make an appearance on this week’s blog because she won’t sit still long enough for me to get a photo of her) and runs like a mad man is chasing him whenever I try to pet him. Poor thing.

Rocky just wanted to sleep and loves to lay on my arm while doing so. He just couldn’t because I had a dry cough that kept him from getting his normal 22 hours of shut eye.

Annoyed.

While we were all in relaxation mode, the weather was really making the rounds. Iowa City West High School students had to take cover at their graduation due to an EF-1 tornado. Thankfully no fatalities have been reported.

No Digity texted me from Vail where it was fucking snowing. At the end of May.

Colorado vs. Tennessee

Winding down after a full weekend ended the way it always does for me. In bubbles.

The purrfect ending.

Here’s hoping your start to summer made you smile.

Cheers!

CBXB

CBXB!

Crazier About My Pussy by the Day

If you’ve followed my shenanigans for long, you’re well aware that I am bat shit crazy about my cat Ted and slightly cray cray about the brother I forced upon him last year, New Cat (yep, that’s still his name).

Apparently my deranged feelings for my feline are starting to get out of control, as I went to send a picture to someone of Ted and this is who I tried to text….

Dear Teddy

Realizing no names were populating in the To: bar, it took a good 15 seconds for me to figure out why in the fuck this text wouldn’t send (being blonde is hard work).

I think it’s safe to say that I am now the number one psycho cat lady in Nashville. Hell, maybe in all of the state of Tennessee.

Anyone have a straight jacket I could borrow?

CBXB

CBXB!

Weekend Winks – Did I Do That?

A free weekend can be all kinds of fun, as long as you just roll with it. Which is exactly what I did…

Double trouble.

Double trouble.

Ted and I tried hanging a few things up around the new mini manse. He was more than eager to investigate and approve any and all decor I was preparing to display.

Ted the electrician

Taking an overview of the product.

Griswold Kitty

Taste testing the product (and trying to mimic the fried pussy cat on “Christmas Vacation”).

Tasty

Chandelier approved!

Although, this pretty piece didn’t get to hang on my ceiling after all because I couldn’t get the damn hook to stay in whatever cheap material the builders of my mini manse used 35 years ago (I had all kinds of nice words to say about it, too). So, Teddy’s delighted to gnaw on his now favorite chew toy that occupies a corner of my floor (which I have put tape around the cord – sticky side out – to remedy this new habit. And it is hysterical watching a cat react to being stuck to something for one second).

After all of the chandelier nonsense, I needed a cold, tasty cocktail and what better to do on a Saturday night than drink Skinny Pirates with pals?

Mermaids. They DO exist!

Mermaids. They DO exist!

My friends had an overflow of liquor that they wanted to share, so of course they called a cocktail expert in to help.

The photobomber gets bombed.

My expertise of photo bombing has become somewhat of an epidemic, as it now happens to me regularly.

As the evening wore on, I collected new buddies to adorn my cocktail glasses. What goes together better than a donkey, giraffe, deer and a mermaid?

New buddies

Party animals.

While I was busy playing with pieces of plastic, one of my hosts tried to tell me that I did this single-handedly…

Did I Do That?

Did I do that?

Now, I will cop to putting a dent in the Captain Morgan but I’m pretty sure I’d still be having my stomach pumped if I double downed.

Upon my return home, I was greeted by an extremely pissed off pussy.

The look of losing beauty sleep.

The look of losing beauty sleep.

I tried to coax Mr. Bear back into a good mood by making one of his favorite dishes…

Steak style

Peas. (You thought I was going to say steak, didn’t you?)

Which won him over with the ease.

Won him over with the greens.

I know how to get this little monster.

And we were back to being snuggle buddies in no time flat.

Hand pillow.

Just what a hangover ordered.

Thanks to the veggie, all is well at the CBXB household. Phew.

Cheers!

CBXB

CBXB!