Happy Hallow-meowi!

This time of year has become bittersweet, as I am severely missing my Mr. Ted E. Bear , because I’m bat shit crazy enough to dress pussies up in costume. And we’d have been in costume today. In an ode to the fur baby that I may as well have birthed myself, here are a few of my past faves.

Since Tedstar was beyond high maintenance (just like his mama) he was immune to catnip – the magic in which I thought would work to ease him into costumes. Instead, turns out a sniff of wine worked just as fine (again with the birthing thing).

Ahh….relaxing vino.

We first got into the idea of Halloween costuming after seeing Ted’s cousin, Gunner, in a bee’s outfit.

I mean c’mon, doesn’t he look cozzzzzeee?

They immediately became twinsies much to Ted’s dismay.

FOR FUCKING REAL?

Even though the Bear didn’t last long enough for a night full of Halloween thrills, I was happy with the outcome.

Ted, not so much.

Buzzed out.

The following year, Teddy Krueger and I not only acquired a new mini manse but also a partner in crime for him – New Cat. The idea of wrapping my arms around two costumed cats didn’t seem like a huge feat until I tried.

Fuck you. Fuck these masks. Fuck being your cat.

Turns out, Ted was used to being the star of the show and I’m pretty sure he pushed New Cat out of the shot.

Only room for one star. Beat it.

As always, the Bear was right. We made such a dashing duo.

Tedstar shining bright.

The following year I was racking my brain as to what Baby Bear and I could be…and then, Miley Cyrus inappropriately grinded on Robin Thicke’s thighs at the MTV Video Music Awards. Voila!

My favorite Halloween photo ever was captured (mind you, this was a one handed selfie – yeah, I have MAD skills). Thank you for your slightly bananas year, Miley.

The photoshoot was one helluva shit show , as purrfecting this pic took 4,791 tries but it was waaaaaaay worth the outcome.

Our last Halloween together, we went as the ultimate Star Wars duo (or at least the duo of costumes I could find – mine was an XL dog’s outfit).

It’s too soon to tell which of my fabulous foursome of current pussies will come to my costume rescue next year.

But I doubt any of them will let me get as handsy as Ted did. While I miss him something terrible, the memories of Halloween’s past are making me smile.

We so would have been Neegan and Rick from The Walking Dead this year.

Rest in peace Baby Bear.

CBXB

 

 

 

How to Conduct a Photoshoot with Pissy Pussies

Being the resident cray cray cat lady of Nashville, it’s a given that I shove my precious pussy Mr. Bear into a costume on any and all occasions that arise.

Catman

Unwillingly the cutest, calmest bat cat in all of his glory.

Now because my Teddy is the most laid back pussy you’ll ever meet, over the years I’ve been able to shove him into a sombrero, a tie, a Santa suit, bunny ears and last Halloween, into a Robin Thicke costume (complimenting my Miley – and yes, if you didn’t already know or believe my previous statement, I am bat shit crazy over my feline. I couldn’t love him more if I birthed him myself. Judge away).

But I knew this holiday season was going to be different because Ted and I acquired a new resident this year in the form of a very annoying, extremely lovable, mentally challenged (think Lloyd Christmas from Dumb and Dumber) tuxedo cat we cleverly named New Cat.  Wondering how I could costume a trio, my gal pal over at Apple Pie and Napalm suggested Catman and Robin, with me chiming in as Catwoman, obviously.

Materials

Downloaded templates from the Internet, velcro strips and felt were all that was needed to outfit my super heroes.

Little Glue high from the glue fumes

I bonded the Catman pieces to felt with fabric glue.

Ready to roll

And then cut velcro strips that easily stuck to the felt backed masks and collars.

Hoping NC was high from glue fumes, my fingers were crossed that he would bond with his costume before I tried to slide him into it.

Robin bonding

You want me to put what where??

After thirty minutes of trying to wrangle New New into his Robin collar, I should have known by his crazy eyes just how well this photo shoot would go…

what the fuck is happening to me?!

What the fuck is happening to me?!

While Ted patiently waited in his full on Catman garb, I wrestled New Cat WWE style to get the damn mask around his head.

Taking hold

.0001 second into the shoot and Mr. Tuxedo was already one-eyed.

Keeper?!

Three seconds into the shoot, I thought this was going to be a slightly less stressful event, as New Cat settled down.

At all.

Until second five when NC decided to try to entice Catman into a fist fight.

Slippery than a greased pig

Masked crusader brawl about to break out.

Staying in character, I tried to strong armed the ferocious felines into sitting still enough for one more shot….which might have worked if New Cat hadn’t somehow become more slippery than a greased pig.

Greased Pig

Taking the back door exit. No wonder Robin was never the star – he was a big pussy!

So what’s a crazy cat lady to do when one of her pussies is being beyond cooperative during a photoshoot?

Do it again, naturally.

Claws out.

Trying to get my eyes clawed out is one of my many specialties.

As you can see my second attempt failed more miserably than my first and Mr. Tuxedo meowed so loudly my ears were ringing.

FUCK. THIS. NOISE.

FUCK. THIS. NOISE.

Seeing that there was no coaxing my new pussy into anymore costume shenanigans, TB and I went back to what we do best.

Being a dynamic duo.

Puuurfect.

Puuurfect.

Which is exactly how Teddy prefers it.

CBXB

CBXB!