Summer Shenanigans

When I heard the grand jury decided to drop my Rapegate case against The Rapist due to lack of evidence, I was bummed – maybe more numb – to say the least. This meant that it was truly over. The criminal portion anyway. Because whether I like it or not, the aftermath of this trauma is still something that I grapple with daily – and know that I always will. But instead of staying cemented where I was upon receiving this news (on my leopard couch, with Ted on my chest naturally) I inched ahead as life proves it stops for no one.

I got this.

After finding myself jobless at the beginning of the 2017, (nothing like being the most impatient person on the planet, waiting for an excruciatingly slow criminal system with nothing but free time on my hands!) I finally landed a new gig. Hey-oh!

Think they get me? More pink please!

A positive work environment is such a welcomed change from what I’ve experienced the past two years – a bully with too much power feasting on the misery of others and a washed up, drugged out psycho who failed to wear any undergarments to work for a boss. This job is a big score for me!

With the help of family and very close friends, I stayed afloat financially – paid my rent, my car note, fed my fur balls and made a much needed trip to Iowa to see family. Less than a year ago, the Dumb to My Dumber, Aunt Crazy Pants, was suddenly diagnosed with terminal cancer after going in for a hip issue.

Can you tell we’re related?

While it has proven a difficult road (as cancer is nothing short of a fucking motherfucker), her attitude and determination to maintain a semblance of her normal life has shown me strength like no other. We watched my Nashville Predators hockey team comethisclose to winning the Stanley Cup together.

Who doesn’t quilt while watching sports?

We even went out and about to grace her presence at the local Mexican restaurant where she is basically a celebrity after a round of treatment.

Three amigos.

Please keep Aunt Crazy Pants in your thoughts, as she’s now under hospice care in her own home. Although, she hasn’t lost her sense of humor.

Her best “Ouiser” impression from the movie, Steel Magnolias.

While back in the Hawkeye State, I also got to see the two peeps who never cease to put a smile on this face.

Princess B was going to frolic her way through her first dance recital and I put my heavily honed make-up skills to work, as her first go-round wasn’t quite the desired outcome.

Her method.

Our shared method.

 

Sheer perfection. And she fucking knows it.

Due to the sellout of the recital, Prince B and I stayed behind for a snuggle date after a little Star Wars walkie-talkie fun.

No Princess Leia here.

Snuggle monsters.

After the babes went down that evening, the adults got into cocktails and had our own recital, reliving dance moves from show choir past.

Sis still has the moves. Obvies.

Catching up with two of my Iowa gal pals it felt like I’d just seen them the week prior, when I hadn’t seen them in a few years. Isn’t that the best feeling?

Fresh start to the evening.

Guess which one of us has our shit together?

Margaritas with mom rounded out my trip before I headed back below the Mason Dixon Line.

In between trying to figure out my headset attached to my work phone…

You guys, seriously. How does Britney Spears do it?

…and lounging weekends away at the pool…

Bring Your Own Boxed Wine,

…the cat cuddling has been heavy-duty.

Spending the majority of the Fourth inside due to rain didn’t quash my celebratory spirit in the slightest.

Red, white and shoes!

With a little red, white and booze.

However, up in Iowa, the spirits weren’t as joyful.

The Nashville weather even cleared up enough for our small trio to head up to the pool, guzzle some cocktails, order a pizza and watch the largest display of fireworks in the nation from a distance.

Keeping it classy!

Back at it after a holiday, I still can’t figure my fucking headset out.

Being blonde is hard.

But it’s nothing a cocktail and a bubble bath can’t fix.

Cheers to the second half of summer!

CBXB

 

Weekend Winks – Birthday Style!

Pre-birthday Nashville shenanigans all weekend long!

Bad birthday hair cover-up.

Brunch with my gal pal Coco at my own personal Cheers bar, Dalts.

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What’s a brunch without a mimosa?

Coco gave me a gift that I will put to very good use…

heaaven!

A pink sparkly flask, perfect for my bathroom bartending!

When dessert came and we didn’t have a candle, my ever ready pal had the next best thing in her purse – a match.

No candle? no prob!

No candle? No prob! We tried to inadvertently burn Dalts down.

I returned from brunch to one of the best birthday cards ever from my Mama.

Well, frankly my dear...

Well, frankly my dear…

Saturday night party time with one of my fave couples…

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CBXB party with the soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs.

Many toasts took place…

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Skinny Pirates for me while watching March Madness.

I was presented with a gluten-free chocolate chip mini bundt cake, which I immediately felt the need to take a bite of at the bar.

Cake can't wait

Keeping it classy, as always.

After a few cocktails, it only seemed reasonable to pose for pics with jazz hands. My show choir teacher would be so proud to know that I’m keeping her legacy alive.

Jazz hands!

You’re welcome Mrs. White.

While drinking at the bar, why would it make sense to put the glass of rum up to your mouth when you can bend all the way over and take a drink? Well it didn’t, obviously.

drining the same way

Look Ma, no hands!

What goes better together than drinks and shopping while supporting a fabulous cause?  Cute girls selling t-shirts for cancer came through the bar and while I might have been happy enough buying the entire bar t-shirts, I limited myself to just one.

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F Cancer! The proceeds of this tee go to prostate cancer research.

Saturday night festivities led to Ted and I eating the rest of my birthday bundt cake in bed Sunday morning, while watching our favorite Bravo show with Andy Cohen.

Lazy Sunday

Lazy Sunday

My girl Tiss Face read about my want of a overly priced bag last week – and look what she found for my birthday in an alley of LA! (I hope she didn’t have to perform alley tricks to purchase the bag…)

love

$20 for this fabulousness!

After Sunday afternoon hot yoga (I needed to ‘cleanse’ my pores after the Saturday festivities), I treated myself to my favorite Pei Wei snack – Vietnamese chicken salad rolls.

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Afternoon delight.

Then promptly went home and planted it on the couch, napping and waking up to this in my face.

Willing me to wake up from nap

Willing me to wake up with an icy ‘feed me right now’ stare.

And if you’re looking for any last-minute gift ideas (and no, it’s not Frank Shirley with a big red ribbon on his head), here’s one…a diamond Chanel J12 watch.  I’m sure the entire blogging universe would have to kick in a year’s salary each to afford the damn thing but still, wouldn’t it look fabulous on my arm?

heaven

If you’re interested in finding out how much this baby costs (I’m not) – (800) 550-0005.

What’s a birthday without decor? I’m dining off my favorite napkins today.

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It’s what any good birthday gal does.

Can you tell I hate the day I was born?

CBXB

CBXB!