You know those weekends that you think are going to be low key? Mine started out on Friday with a heavy pour of pinot noir and snuggle down with the fur balls.
Wine down Friday.
Saturday rolled around and I could hardly get out of the bed, even though it was an Iowa Hawkeye game day.
I mean, with lay outs like the one below, I decided to crawl back into the throne and frolic with the fur balls.
A king almost falling off a queen sized bed.
The Hawks were going to play a number three ranked Ohio State University (whom I loathe, have always loathed and will continue to loathe forever and ever amen. Maybe it’s because you’re supposed to say THE Ohio State University…maybe it’s because they seem to piss every major bowl game down their leg, maybe it’s their cockiness….you choose). Dada CBXB and I almost didn’t get together because my he was having his cable worked on and we weren’t sure it’d be done by the game. I also think we both figured that being the 20 point underdogs, it may be the most boring game of the Hawkeye season.
Cheerleading from bed.
A game against THE Ohio State University several years ago is the reason we started taking touch down shots (to keep the games more interesting for us Hawk fans when we scored maybe one touchdown per game).
Then this gem of a text rolled in from my sister. Who, may I note, lives about 25 fucking minutes from the University of Iowa and Kinnick Stadium where kick off takes place. EVERY. SINGLE. Saturday she asks:
A) Who the Hawks play
B) What time the game starts
I, in turn, always love asking her who the Tennessee Titans play. Her guess this time goes back to when our dad played for the Baltimore Colts (who are now located in Indianapolis for you non sports fans). She’s a huge football fan, obvies.
I got all game day gussied up and headed out to watch what was possibly going to be the worst ass beating in the history of our team. It’s not that I don’t have faith in my Hawkeyes – I do – however, it’s sometimes heartbreaking being a fan because when we’re bad we’re very, very bad and when we’re good we rock.
On my way!
The game started and as I was saying, “Jeez it’s really lou-…” the Hawks got a pick six and scored for a touch down eight seconds into the game.
“At least we lead once this game,” said Dada CBXB.
Then, something miraculous happened and Iowa scored again.
Surprisingly a second shot as Dada said, “Well, at least we lead some of the game.”
Shot three game and we were silly with excitement.
NO ONE thought we’d have four touchdowns on THE Ohio State University during the first half (let alone the entire game).
Colin Cowherd, a sports media personality with his own pod cast hates the Hawkeyes with a passion. Even when Iowa had a perfect 12-0 season two years ago, he found holes to poke. Well, he taunted with a Tweet during halftime….
….SUCK IT Colin, ’cause the Hawkeyes kept on steam rolling. Cowherd really does owe everyone at the Deadwood bar in Iowa City a PBR.
We were ultra prepared for an OSU comeback in the second half but instead, the Hawkeyes kept on trucking and gave our livers a run for their money.
Shot fucking 5?!
Our reputation precedes us, as even our loyal Facebook touchdown shot counters noticed we had posted nothing during the entire game, as we typically document each shot taken.
HEY-OH we posted the last shot taken of the game!
THE BUCK STOPS HERE at shot seven.
With a final score of 55-24, all of the Iowa fans rushed the field…
…as did yours truly, only virtually.
I mean, how could I miss out on a moment like this – that will most likely never happen again?
Victory shot for good measure, along with how the rest of the night felt.
Even the Internet took notice over the ass beating we handed THE Ohio State University.
Being that I thought I would be sober Sally upon the completion of the game, I didn’t pack a bag to stay at dad’s….but I who am I kidding? I wouldn’t have changed out of my Hawkeye gear anyhow. I may or may not still be in my game day clothes and I may or may not change out of them until we lose again.
Not ashamed of this walk of shame.
Here’s hoping you’re having a week as high as I’m feeling. My head is still in the clouds because the buck stopped here.