How to Piss Off Your Pussy

Agreeing to look in on my neighbors trio of cats while they were away truly didn’t seem like a big deal. Until I had to tell my own feline, Teddy Bear that I was running an ‘errand’ every evening one week, interrupting our after work couch shenanigans (which consists of wine, TV, belly rubs and naps).


Where do you think you’re going?

Sneaking next door, I was surrounded by little balls of fur, excited for some much-needed attention.







Being a gal that always coos over anything with fur, I happily doled out love to the three cats lined up for my affection.

Triple threat to my happy home.

Triple threat to my happy home.

But then I found myself caught up in the situation, mirroring acts that Ted adores…like chin scratches.

Wallowing in CBXB's love

Wallowing in CBXB’s love.

And treating the felines to supper…

Treated them to dinner...

My dining companions.

I’m not sure why I thought I could sleuth around behind my bear’s back without him being suspicious. I could tell by TB’s shadow he was pissed upon my return home.

Suspicious minds...

Suspicious mind…with a curled tail to prove it.

As I went to scoop him up, I could barely see anything but pupils he was so angry.

WTF were you thinking? I KNOW.

What the F were you thinking? I KNOW.

Our typical snuggle became awkward very quickly.

No amount of buttering up was going to help.

Never light as a feather but definitely stiff as a board this go ’round.

Being ever the drama puss, Ted threatened to electrocute himself by licking the bathroom light switch.

He tried to be all dramatic and electrocute himself.

Over doing it, don’t you think?

When he decided it would be better not to acquire burnt fur, I was treated to plenty of his rear view.

Rear view...

Seems to translate as “kiss my ass Mom.”

In a sheer moment of genius, I knew what was going to bring my bear back around.


Ted’s version of kryptonite.

In less than two seconds, I had this fur ball eating tuna off of his favorite lip plate (I’d have tried the palm of my hand but wanted to keep all of my fingers in tact).

Lip service

Lip service.

Soon after we’d assumed our typical positions back on the couch.

Look of forgiveness?

Look of forgiveness…

or revenge...

or revenge?

We’ll find out soon enough, won’t we?

Good deeds never go unpunished (at least when Mr. Bear is involved).



Elvis Lives!

Well, he’s alive and kickin’ in Nashville anyway.

The mini-me version of the rock’n’roll King, Elvis.

When I first glanced at this picture of my friend Whit’s adorable tyke, it almost made me want to procreate (I said almost, so pick your jaw up off the floor people!). Then the clock ticked past that second, I took a long sip of my Skinny Pirate and I decided these photos were too good to keep to myself.

Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Love

With his suspicious mind, Teddy practically pounced down my throat when sensing I had a moment’s weakness with a twinge for a mini-Elvis of my own. And to keep the playing field even, I will crazy cat lady out on you (for Ted’s sake, of course).

To win my fur baby back, I reminded him that Elvis had song entitled Teddy Bear.  And then I sang it to him. But of course I had to tweak the lyrics a tad.

“Baby let me be around you every night. Run my fingers through you fur (Elvis said hair but who’s keeping track?) and cuddle you real tight.”

And with that, my Teddy decided to love me tender again.  Who needs the world’s cutest mini-Elvis when you’ve got a lovin’ Teddy Bear?

Not this crazy cat lady (much to Ted’s delight).