Spectacular Shit Dip

Don’t let the name fool you. This dip is divine.

I’m prone to easy, simple, don’t dirty-too-many-dishes recipes (plus I don’t have a love deep in my heart for cooking – wish I felt the same about eating).  With tailgating season here and holiday party time right around the corner, I’m revisiting one of my favorite, effortless, wallet friendly, minimal ingredient snack foods (thanks for the reminder, Podunk!).

Then you cross your fingers that guests bring fabulous treats to go along with the fabulous dishes you've laid out. Last Saturday, we had my blog famous Shit Dip, mexican dip, a cheese ball and my dad's 'best batch of ribs ever' (direct quote from him).

A little shit dip goes a long way.

This recipe comes from my gal pal Katie B. She didn’t give this tasty dip its moniker…I did, the day after I practically ate an entire bowl of it single-handedly at a party which in turn, left me feeling very cleansed the next day.

My favorite part about this dip (aside from being so tasty) is you can make it via the microwave.

Here are the whopping four ingredients you’ll need:

1 stick butter

1 block cream cheese

2 cans white shoe peg corn (it’s basically sweet corn – I had to Google it since I’m a regular Betty Crocker and all)

10 chopped jalapeno rings (more or less depending on your preference)

Tortilla chips

Ingredients for the cleansing dip all purchased at Target (where else?) for a grand total of $4.06. Add the $2 for a bag of cheap tortilla chips and you’re set for $6. My kind of treat!

Directions:

In a microwave safe bowl (and one big enough to eventually hold two cans of corn) melt the stick of butter, then add the block of cream cheese. Nuke for about a minute or so and then add the 2 cans of corn (if you add the corn too early, it gets chewy). Add the jalapenos, heat to desired temperature and serve immediately.

That’s it!

This dip will have your bathroom bumpin’.

Go ahead and wow ‘em with shit dip at your next tailgate – just remember to be prepared with an overabundance of toilet paper.

CBXB

CBXB!

How to Suck It Up When Your Team Sucks

Getting together with friends last night to watch the BCS Championship football game between Alabama and Notre Dame started out promising (I mean for all of 10 seconds the score was 0-0).  While not really invested in either team, I was rooting for the Irish of Notre Dame – not only because they were the under dogs and had an undefeated regular season but they wear gold helmets so shiny, and I really want one to polish.

But my team of the evening ended up sucking. Like super sucking.  So here’s how us Notre Dame cheerleaders carried on anyhow.

Once the opposing team is two scores up, start double fisting immediately.

Two cups were needed for misery's sake because misery does love company

Two cups were needed for misery’s sake because misery does love company.

To keep yourself from falling into the negative we’ll-never-comeback-from-this point deficit, visit the food table about every four minutes. I brought my blogfamous Pigskin Sushi (gluten-free, low carb and EASY) to the party.

Clear here for my Pigskin Sushi recipe

Clear here for my Pigskin Sushi recipe. You’ll be glad you did.

Be sure to load up on protein, too.  It will give you the energy you need to jump up and clap if your losing team EVER scores.

What would a football game be without ribs?

What would a football game be without ribs?

And stock up on any and every other tasty treats such as baked beans, little weenies and queso dip to aid in the sorrow you’re feeling.

click here for my weenie and queso

Click for the little weenie and queso dip recipe. If you can open a can and stir, you’ll be all set!

Be sure someone has special gloves to massage the BBQ sauce into the pork butt.  Our Notre Dame cheering host was a natural at this task.

Using 'butt' gloves(imagine all of the jokes) to massage BBQ sauce into the meat.

Using ‘butt’ gloves
(imagine all of the jokes) to massage BBQ sauce into the meat.

After stuffing your face because your team is down 28 points before halftime, drink a bottle of chocolate wine for dessert.

Chocolate wine for dessert.

Yes, it’s as good as it sounds but my wine connoisseur friends (like The Winegetter) may disagree.

You will need some hard-core soothing, so join your friends when they suggest a shot (or three).

A little salt makes

A little salt makes the tequila go down…for me.

The choice of liquor was my friend Lady’s idea yet look at her face in the picture below as she SIPS while I guzzle flawlessly (yes, my parents are beyond proud of me).

Pro vs. Amateur

Pro vs. Amateur

Be prepared to have your own halftime entertainment because your ears will be bleeding with all of the commentator analyzing (why don’t they just say “this team sucks” instead of pretending there’s a chance in hell for a second half comeback?).  We amused ourselves with acupuncture. My friend CoCo gets this done regularly and had a sterile needle in her purse (yes, us Irish were desperate for a distraction).

Acupuncture to the rescue!

Acupuncture to the rescue!

blah

Such a tiny needle to relieve so much stress.

I felt nothing...teeny tiny needle or because of the teeny tiny tequila?

I felt nothing…due to the teeny tiny needle or because of the teeny tiny tequila ?

After halftime, get your phone out and start Googling players from the opposing team. I settled on Alabama QB, AJ McCarron (who looked like Snow White last night with rosy red lips – I seriously thought he had lipstick on.  They must have been chapped from kissing his smokin’ hot girlfriend).

Bored with the game, we googled the Alabama QB AJ McCarron.

Bored with the game, look how much fun Googling can be! AJ McCarron and his surprising chest of tatted armour.

Be prepared for your host to be a fair-weathered fan. After Notre Dame was taking a gigantic beating, our host came out in his Alabama finest.

Breaking it down in red. Traitor!

Breaking it down in red. Traitor!

You must make your host pay for his lack of commitment to one team. In this case, it was tequila.

Tequila for two

Punishment fits the crime, yes?

Be sure to pack tissues when half of the room starts looking like this…

Is that a real tear in a beer?

Is that a real tear in a beer?

And you must be willing to cheer them up with – what else? Tequila.

Tequila poured out of this Falcon Crest-like decaner made the tequila taste fancy.

Try to pour tequila out of a snazzy Falcon Crest-like decanter. It will make losers feel a little fancy.

Typically you should take a shot every time your team scores.  In our case, we ended up doing one big sympathy shot for a tremendous loss at the close of the game.

Just a shot full of tequila helps the loss go down a little easier.

Tears and tequila.

And this is how you get through the viewing party while the team you’re rooting for is handed their own ass.

Now where’s the Tylenol?

CBXB

Eat Shit and Die Guac

I promise you really won’t die – but you may think you will because this dip is that good.

The ex-boyfriend dip.

So here’s the skinny on my friend Coco’s award winning “Eat Shit and Die Guac,” (she actually entitled it “I just broke up with my boyfriend, please send me to the beach guacamole,” years ago and won a trip to the beach. Thank God for ex-boyfriends.  She’s just nicer about her wording than I am about past loves, hence the guac’s new moniker).

Dip hardware:
· 6 ripe avocados (soft to the touch)
· juice from 2-3 limes (I substituted with lime juice because I’m cheap and easy)
· 1 large tomato, seeds and pulp removed, diced
· 1 serrano chili, minced (I didn’t know what this kind of pepper was exactly, but it was labeled at the grocery. Phew)
· 1/2 a red onion, minced
· 3/4 cup chopped cilantro
· 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt (or regular salt)
· a few turns of freshly ground black pepper
· 1/2 teaspoon cumin (Coco says this is the secret weapon)

This yields about four cups.  Plenty for a small crowd to snack on.

First cut the avocados in half.

Remove the pits and place avocados into a large bowl. Mine were so ripe and mushy, I was able to spoon them out.

Squeeze lime juice (authentic or duplicated) over the avocado. Mix well.  This will help the dip from browning.

Add the rest of the ingredients to the potion. Mix.

Taste and add more lime juice, onion and cilantro if desired.

Best served fresh but if you have leftovers (which you won’t), cover with plastic wrap directly touching the surface of the guac. Refrigerate.

This gluten-free dip will cost you about $11 including tortilla chips (if you get the $2 bag). The avocados will be the priciest portion (I paid $1.20 each) but well worth the outcome.  I secretly thanked Coco’s ex-boyfriend every time my overloaded chip hit my lips. And you will too.

CBXB

Tailgating Terror

What’s that you say? Stopping by for the game that starts in 30 minutes? Oh sure, c’mon!

Being stuck with nothing on hand and unintended company can seem like a nightmare, especially if you don’t keep your cupboards overloaded (like this girl watching her budget).

With football season in full force, you can avoid a drive-by catastrophe by keeping a few key ingredients on hand for tasty snacks that are so easy, I can even throw them together in a moment’s notice (no one has ever mistaken me for a chef).

I stock up when items are on sale at the grocery and most of these purchases have the shelf life of space food (so you know they’re oh-so-healthy) and will last  through football season.

Favorites of mine include:

Tailgating Twosome. Rotel and Velveeta cheese.  You can always add cooked ground beef, chicken or sausage for a heartier dip.

The very difficult task of opening and dumping ingredients into a saucepan can wear one out, so be careful you don’t over do it before company arrives.

Cook slowly over low heat, stirring occasionally until melted.

Once prepared, serve immediately or you will get a crusty film on the top of your fancy cheese.

I serve pair this dip with Tostitos Lime chips but any old corn chips will do. Entire cost: $7.

You can also never go wrong with little weenies. Some prefer to call them ‘lil smokies. I prefer the term weenie.

Select any BBQ sauce from the grocery (I buy whatever is on sale), grab your weenies and go!

This is a tad simpler than the cheese dip. You open, dump, pour and stir. Let simmer on the stove and serve.

Gourmet wieners will really wow your company. Total cost: $5.

And finally, I always buy the 2 for $5 veggies at the grocery but never seem to eat them, thus always have on hand every Saturday.

Again –  open, pour, arrange, serve. See a pattern in my ‘cooking’? Total cost: $5.

By the time your football fans roll through, you’ll look like a pro.

Add a side of Bangin’ Buffalo Dip (if time permits) and voila! I had about an hour to throw this together.  Total cost for spread shown above: $23.00.

You’ll look like you’re an effortless chef of treats (all gluten-free, FYI) and tailgate crashers will be beyond impressed with your culinary skills. What could have turned into a terrifying situation will hardly even be a blip on your radar.

Now, cross your fingers for uninvited company.

CBXB

Bangin’ Buffalo Dip

Another cheap eat from my party arsenal is a tasty treat that hails from the state of Mississippi, compliments of my buddy Bri.

This dip is welcome at any social gathering but it’s perfect for the tailgating crew on game days (and much less messy than actual chicken wings but provides the same taste).  And if you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll know that I’m all for easy, frugal eats (because I don’t want to dirty too many dishes, as I don’t have a dishwasher – and only three clean pieces were sacrificed for this palate pleasing snack).

Here’s what you’ll need:

All ingredients for this dip cost under $10 at my local grocery (I couponed and purchased brands that were on sale).

2 – 8oz cream cheese blocks (helps if they’re at room temperature but not a must)

½ bottle of hot sauce

½ bottle of blue cheese dressing

1 can of chicken (or two chicken breasts cooked and shredded or cubed)

Celery (optional – but if you’re watching carbs, great replacement for chips)

1 bag of corn chips

To make:

Mix the cream cheese, hot sauce, blue cheese dressing and chicken in a bowl and put into a baking dish.

My mix was a tad chunky because my cream cheese was chilled when I threw the ingredients together.

Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.

I let the dip cool about 5 to 10 minutes to let it thicken, then transfer to a serving platter (this Pyrex dish just doesn’t cut it).

This tasty tailgating treat will really wow your crowd without breaking your bank (or chipping your nail polish while you slave away washing dishes).

A side dish of celery, along with a bowl of chips complete this cheesy chicken heaven of a dip. If you serve along with last week’s Shit Dip, you might just become an effortless Betty Crocker in your own right.

CBXB

Losin’ and Boozin’

Tailgating usually means good beer, tasty treats, fun times and hopefully, an eventful game where your team is victorious.

But what about the seasons your team is really sucking?

You do as any good fan would do – tailgate anyway!

There are no losers in tailgating…that’s what makes it all the more fabulous!

I’m a Big Ten Girl, a Hawkeye fanatic and an all around football lover. Tailgating is tradition at my alma mater, the University of Iowa (as it is at countless colleges across America) and when I was in school, this past time meant booze, beer pong and boys.  Now that I’m all grown up (mostly) tailgating now involves booze, snacks and booze (with the snack portion of this event taking great importance).

It looks like my beloved team is going to have a lack luster season and while it may seem easy to throw in the towel, especially when living in Nashville, hundreds of miles away from the stadium in Iowa City, we’re still at it on Saturdays.

How does one prep for a tailgate with small hopes her team will get a W? By treating it just like any other award winning season.

First, you get your football dishes and platters out (now I realize not everyone is cuckoo for football, so you don’t necessarily HAVE to own sports themed dishware but you must admit, it is so much cuter than your average Tupperware, yes?).

Then you cross your fingers that guests bring fabulous treats to go along with the decorative dishes you’ve laid out.

Last Saturday, we had my blog famous Shit Dip, chips and salsa, a cheese ball and crackers, Mexican dip and my dad’s “best batch of ribs ever” (which is a direct quote from the chef himself).

Teddy (never one to be left out) partook in the game day treats, too.

And who can forget the key element to a successful tailgate? Not this crew.

What fun is a tailgate without the booze in the team cup, with the matching nails (check out Mama’s Mani) and T-shirt?

Speaking of cocktails, typically we toast Hawkeye touchdowns with a celebratory shot but we’ve yet to run one into the end zone this season. So now we put extra Captain in our diet coke and end up doing a shot at the end of the game in celebration that the clock finally ran out.

Cheers to a really looooooong season (and hopefully a win this weekend). At least we still have the anticipation of tailgating every Saturday – some things never change.

CBXB

Shit Dip

Don’t let the name fool you. This dip is divine.

I’m prone to easy, simple, don’t dirty too many dishes because I don’t have a dishwasher recipes (plus I don’t have a love deep in my heart for cooking – wish I felt the same about eating).  So with tailgating season here and holiday party time right around the corner, I’ve decided to share some of my favorite, effortless, wallet friendly, minimal ingredient snack food.

This recipe comes from my gal pal Katie B. She didn’t give this tasty dip its moniker…I did, the day after I practically ate the entire bowl single handedly at the last party in which it appeared and left me feeling very cleansed the next day.

My favorite part about this dip (aside from being so tasty) is you can make it via the microwave!

Here’s what you need:

1 stick butter

1 block cream cheese

2 cans white shoe peg corn (it’s basically sweet corn – I had to Google it since I’m a regular Betty Crocker and all)

10 chopped jalapeno rings (more or less depending on your preference)

Tortilla chips

Ingredients for the cleansing dip all purchased at Target (where else?) for a grand total of $4.06. Add the $2 for a bag of cheap tortilla chips and you’re set for $6. My kind of treat!

Directions:

In a microwave safe bowl (and one big enough to eventually hold two cans of corn) melt the stick of butter, then add the block of cream cheese. Nuke for about a minute or so and then add the 2 cans of corn (if you add the corn too early, it gets chewy). Add the jalapenos, heat to desired temperature and serve immediately.

That’s it!

You’ll really wow ‘em at the next tailgate. Just remember to supply toilet paper.

CBXB