Turkey Table

Oh the good times I had at the kids’ table on holidays. Us cousins would sit around a tiny table that our Gpa Morris constructed for Mama CBXB’s pre-school kids (she ran Kiddie Kollege from our basement) and we would have our construction papered pilgrim hats proudly atop our noggins.

Yeah, we know. Killer hats.

Topics often covered during the meal at our no-one-yet-in-the-double-digits table included knuckle sandwiches (usually whether or not I wanted one to which my response was, “No thank you I’ve already had one”), Sister CBXB announcing for the umpteenth year in a row she was thankful for her “Gaggy” (in non-toddler speak, that means dad although she couldn’t enunciate the “d” sound which made her declaration all the more nauseating for those of us who understood) and who was going to get a Jell-O knox block (this was obviously long before we started adding vodka to this delicatessen) for dessert first.

A few decades later, here’s what the same cousins look like at a “table”.

Knuckle sandwiches traded in for Patrón.

Now that we all live in different cities, states and the majority have procreated, the tables at turkey time look different but that doesn’t mean they still aren’t full of some fucking fun.

Maybe your table leans on the traditional side with overflowing dishes prepped by master family chefs (that would not be me, mind you).

Come and get it.

Maybe your table is a mixed bag of friends who all have human offspring but yours truly.

Maybe your table is surrounded by folks who don’t have spawn.

Fur moms.

Maybe your table is for two with your great aunt who has more energy at 90 years young than you’ve ever had in your life.

Head locked lovin’.

Maybe your table is surrounded by folks who show the fuck up when it matters most.

Sisters sandwich.

Maybe your table is reserved for remembering those who don’t physically sit with us any longer.

Margs and memories.

Maybe your table is full of extended family from far away, new friends and not one of you knows how to carve a fucking turkey.

Who has the knife?

Maybe your table is reserved for jazz handing, crown wearing queens.

Yes. We are all queens.

Maybe your table is filled to the rim with vino and friends.

Fuck food. Fill us up.

Maybe your once full table is empty as you relish a second helping of pumpkin pie.

Still desserting.

So Aunt Juju virtually joins you because we’re 500 miles apart.

Maybe your table is a toilet because you just need a holiday alone.

Never not classy.

Now new occupants reign the kids’ table, complete with their own artwork.

Turkey masterpiece.

The pilgrim hats of yesteryear have sure come a long fucking way.

The next generation at the turkey table.

Thanksgiving is a holiday for appreciation and I’m thankful for my fellow pilgrims who’ve weathered every type of table with me.

Love ya, mean it.

Cheers to enjoying your seat at the table, wherever and whatever it may be.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Gobble on.

CBXB

Weekend Winks – Gizzards, Griswolds and Gaming

Over the river and through the woods to the mini manse they came…

So, I haven’t ever cooked a turkey (or mowed a lawn, washed dishes without rubber gloves, changed a dirty diaper… because you know, my nails are jewels, not tools) but my friend Rasta decided to bake a bird for the Thanksgiving holiday, as she wasn’t traveling back to New York. I had family from Iowa coming into Nashville, she was kind enough to invite us over and it was a Griswolds meets the Iowa Hillbillies meets City Chic. In other words, the best kind of holiday mash-up.

I’ll let you guess which is which.

I went to help prep the evening before and basically sat on my ample derriere washing the evening away with wine, BUT I did help with snapping green beans, K?

Being a sous chef is hard work.

Upon my return to the mini manse, I called Mama CBXB no less than 31 times in 25 minutes because I was attempting my first casserole with a whopping six ingredients.

What’s a ¼ lb. of cheese?

Do you drain the corn or leave the juice in it?

What’s a ¼ lb. of butter look like?

And voila!

Corn and noodle casserole was a hit.

OK, I may have eaten half of it but still, a success.

Rasta baked her tail off, as I supplied a cases of much-needed vino.

My contributions.

Rasta stirring up a storm in her kitchen.

Upon completion of the bird baking, no one in the place had ever before carved a turkey.

How many peeps does it take to carve a turkey?

The bird got divvied, the casserole was a hit and Precious the chug may have had the tryptophan kick in earlier than the rest of us.

Tired turkey.

Friday, after shaking off our turkey comas, we headed down to Bailey’s Irish Pub to join another 125 Hawkeye fans to cheer on our fave team for the last game of the year.

Hey-oh! Hawkeye time!

The outcome of the game looked rather bleak at halftime with the score being tied at 14-14 (and as the Hawks basically rolled over and died their last two games, it was anyone’s guess as to who would win). But, in the third and fourth quarters, Iowa scored an unanswered 42 points, leaving us with a winning 56-14 score.

Somewhere between shots one and four…

… and somewhere between shots five and eight.

Of course each and every time the Hawks scored, I had to Facetime Dada CBXB who was up in Iowa visiting the twins.

I can’t hear you but drink!

What do you do after a victorious beat down? Celebrate, naturally. We headed to Robert’s Western World for some of the best old school honky tonkin’ around.

Showing G’Lee a fun old-fashioned country time.

Enjoying the holiday leftovers in Iowa, my BIL was showing off his doughing skills, making turkey and gravy pizza.

Dough master.

No one was upset about the use of leftovers.

Of course, the second the clock struck 12:01 am the day after Thanksgiving, the twins were ready for Christmas. And the decorating commenced.

Tree trimming.

Old school advent calendar.

While the mini manse residents are still recuperating from the shenanigans – surely, it’s just a turkey hangover.

Snuggle train still ongoing.

A day of Hallmark holiday movies and moving from one side of the couch to the other worked wonders for us.

Working our wind down with wine. Duh.

Here’s hoping your well on your way out of a gravy coma.

CBXB

Pilgrims Rock

Aren’t you glad you had fellow pilgrims to sit with, no matter what table you were destined to dine during Thanksgiving?

Yeah, we know. Killer hats.

Topics often covered during the meal at our kid’s table included knuckle sandwiches (usually whether or not I wanted one to which my response was, “No thank you I’ve already had one”), my sister announcing for the umpteenth year in a row she was thankful for her “Gaggy” (in non-toddler speak, that means dad although she couldn’t enunciate the “d” sound which made her declaration all the more nauseating for those of us who understood) and who was going to get a Jell-O knox block (this was obviously long before we started adding vodka to this delicatessen) for dessert first.

So while Thanksgiving is a holiday for appreciation, I’m thankful for my fellow pilgrims who weathered the children’s table with me at every family gathering…still to this day.

Hope you enjoy the seat at your table, wherever it may be.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Gobble on.

CBXB

Weekend Winks

In deep recovery from a food coma, here’s a peek at my Nashville Thanksgiving weekend shenanigans.

Ted all snuggled up in the front seat, on the way to Grandma’s house he goes!

It’s a framer! Here’s a picture of the fam as we decided to get out and enjoy the 65 degree day before overindulging. Note to self – don’t ask anyone over 70 to take a picture with an iPhone (they will put it up to their eye and ask where to click).

My view of our leisurely Turkey Day walk. (Yes the 80-year-old was bare-chested. No, it was not in the least bit attractive but of course I still had to take a picture). This image made us practically sprint to finish.

Our foursome wished we had something to quench our thirst after all that walking.

Pre-turkey tasties (my family masters the art of snacking). Healthy treats (unless you eat a half-dozen of my mom’s deviled eggs. Damn it!).

The man who acted like he cooked everything until Mom pointed out that turkey and potatoes were only two of the 12 things being served. King of Dramatization.

Instead of playing the old game “Where’s Waldo,” we got to play “Where’s Teddy” all weekend due to his need of escaping out every crevice and sending me on an endless wild goose chase. Here’s what I found lurking in the garage. The little shit.

Turkey Day halftime entertainment. Me and my boy, Kid Rock.

People watching at Target, 10pm Thanksgiving night. Around 800 people were in line to check out. MADNESS.

This ended up being all the Black Friday I could handle. Elvis, the owl eyed cat on the right celebrated his one year anniversary with my family. We rescued him last Thanksgiving, as he came up to the back door and begged for turkey (he fits right in, with his love of food).

Ever the cat to lend a helping paw, Teddy project managed the holiday decorating process of one of my parent’s ledges.

Make any holiday memories of your own this past weekend? Submit them by this Wednesday to win the CBXB’s giveaway.  A pink sparkly deer head – it will go perfectly over your toilet and make for all kinds of fun conversation, I promise.

Click here for details on how to win your very own pink deer head….I mean, who doesn’t want one?!

Happy Holiday Seasoning!

CBXB

Thank God for Pilgrims

Aren’t you glad you had pilgrims to sit with, no matter what table you were destined to dine during Thanksgiving?

My sister and I with our Brown Boy cousins, quarantined to the kid’s table, drinking out of our fabulous Care Bear glasses and fashionable, festive holiday hats.

Topics often covered during the meal were knuckle sandwiches (usually whether or not I wanted one), my sister’s love of her “Gaggy” (my dad, although she couldn’t enunciate the “d” sound but she was always thankful for nothing but her “Gaggy”) and who was going to get a Jell-O knox blocks for dessert first.

So while it’s a day for appreciation, I’m thankful for my fellow pilgrims who weathered the children’s table with me every holiday gathering…still to this day.

Hope you’re enjoying the seat at your table, wherever it may be.

Gobble on.

CBXB