Weekend Winks – Cougar Style

A little honky tonkin’, hockey and hootenanny in Nashville this weekend….

After a few happy hour Skinny Pirates, I headed to the hockey game – and you know that meant a little bathroom bartending…

Don't tell I'm up to no good.

Thank God alcohol kills germs, right? Right?!

My Nashville Predators beat the Edmonton Oilers 6-0. Yeehaw!

blah

Welcome to Smashville!

Saturday greeted me with a package from my blogging gal pal, Nicola from Nail Art For Funn.  She sent so many goodies from Korea, I can hardly wait to try all of the fun on my weekly Sunday night nail nights!

While out and about with visiting family, I came across an ancient artifact – my uncle’s phone.

Ancient history

Yes, it still works.

Saturday evening led to family fun night at my favorite Nashville honky tonk, Robert’s Western World.  I re-created my Hardee’s modeling bit (click here to read about my first time) while eating the oh-so-delicious burger…

Hardee's burger model, take 2.

Hardee’s burger model, take 2.

I ran into (OK, minorly stalked if I’m being honest here) the fastest playing fiddler in all of Tennessee, Joshua Hedley.

My favorite fiddle player

Cowboy Josh and a crazy fan.

And what to my wondering ears did appear but a 17-year-old guitar player full of good cheer.

blah

This kid rocks.

While I don’t typically pine for guys younger than yours truly, I couldn’t help but swoon over this kick ass pickin’ kid, promptly turning into a cougar.

blah

On the prowl – look out!

All of the Saturday night shenanigans led to a Sunday morning full of sunglasses and snuggling.

blah

Yes. I needed the shades that badly.

Upon recovery, I headed back downtown with my family to see downtown Nashville in the daylight, where I set my sights on the most wonderful thing imaginable…a bar on wheels.  All you have to do is pedal while drinking to cruise the streets (I of course would need to sit on someone’s lap while they pedaled for me – I’m a high heel (and obviously high maintenance) wearin’ boozer).

Drink and pedal.

Drinking + pedaling = no cocktail calories counted.

A little BBQ action at Rippy’s for my endlessly starving 14-year-old cousin, C-dawg. Seriously, this kid talks about food as much as I rant and rave about Ted.

blah

Feed me….again!

And remember me as a spitting image of Elvis?  I so badly wanted to keep the costume in order to continually prance around as The King but the upkeep of a white jumpsuit would be a nightmare.

As Elvis

Hunka hunka burnin’ …. love?

But I found the next best thing at a shop downtown –

blah

PJs perfect for prancing around!

Guess what you’ll be seeing on this blog in the near future?

CBXB

CBXB!

The Accidental Drunk

You know how you intend to have one after work cocktail and then all hell breaks loose? Yeah, me too.

Last night I met up with pals I haven’t seen in a long time … and one drink turned into three, which led to bourbon and late night honky tonkin’, resulting in a groggy Thursday morning.

It all started at a fancy restaurant where I decided to go out on a limb and deviate from my typical Skinny Pirate, vodka and wine.  I chose the “Keith It Simple” cocktail which included Corsair Absinthe, Old Forrester 100 Proof, house infused with vanilla bean, fresh lemon…there was nothing simple about this concoction.

the instigator

Big Mistake.

My choice in liquor for the evening led to an impromptu photo shoot outside the bathroom.

leading to the mauling of a pin up

Mauling of a pin-up.

And because I typically stick to dive bars, I was ultra impressed with the actual bathroom and started snapping photos in front of other customers (class act, right here).

Casablanca on the wall

Movies on the wall? I want to move in!

How does this work?

Blonde moment 341…how will this flat sink not get water all over my dry jeans?

After making an ass out of myself (and deciding the joint was too pricy for our food tastes), we decided to head to my favorite honky-tonk – Robert’s Western World.

blah

Why would you pay $40 for an elegant steak when you can get a complete meal at Robert’s for $5!?

A fun tidbit from a bumper sticker – somehow Nashvillians can make bashful and Nashville rhyme.

Somehow Nashvillians can make Bashful and Nashville rhyme...

Making Nashville sound like it’s spelled Nashful. Now that’s talent!

Our versions of ‘gourmet’… late night burgers and fried bologna sandwiches, accompanied by the always kick ass Don Kelley Band (who granted my request and played one of my all time favorite songs, which of course required me to get up and dance…alone on the dance floor…constantly finding ways to make an ass of myself).

blah

Mouth party!

After my personal Dancing With the Stars premiere, a dude at the table next to me watched me eat my cheese burger like a creeper – probably because I was shoveling the burger into my mouth like this –

blah

Can’t I eat any faster?

But then he paid me with what I thought was the best compliment ever – “you eating that there burger reminds me of the models on the Hardee’s or Carl’s Jr. commercials.” Who me? A MODEL!!

And then realizing I looked like an eating train wreck, he must have meant I look like the male burger models with mayo running down their chinny chin chins. Just trying to keep it classy, folks!

blah

Burger modeling in my future? Yes please!

All of these shenanigans had me reaching for my jar of much-needed Vegemite (the Australian hangover cure) this morning. And when I wondered aloud if readers were going to start trying to “sponsor” me due the constant advertising of my bad habits, a friend (a true one) said, “Alcoholics go to meetings. Drunks go to parties.”

Crisis averted.

CBXB

CBXB!

It’s the Liebs, not the Biebs.

That’s right, I’m not talking Justin Bieber I’m talking a Blogster Liebster!

The oh-so-fabulous D-Anna at Style Salvation  and granted sparkly ol’ me with the Liebster Blog Award.  A grand gesture of kindness and by accepting, I must relay five random facts about myself, as well as answering five questions D-Anna has asked yours truly.

http://nobottleleftbehind.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/liebster-blog-award.jpg

Random things by Cowboys and Crossbones…

1) My favorite movie of all time is National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  My family (we’re so classy!) watches it every year during the holidays and it’s a tradition I anticipate right up there with Santa’s big night.

I mean, what family doesn’t have their very own cousin Eddie?

I love the movie so much that last year, I hosted a Griswolds (hence the Grizzie category on my blog) Family Christmas party.

This is my version of a crying Clark while he’s stuck in the attic and his arch nemesis of a neighbor, Margo.

And speaking of crying, I rarely cry. But when I do – I only have one kind…the ugly cry. The hot mess kind of cry. The what the hell is wrong with her kind of cry.  Once I start, I can’t stop.

Think I need to invest in waterproof mascara?

I have no recollection as to why I was being such a bawl baby, I simply remember how freaking hilarious I looked when I finally stopped long enough to look in a mirror. And of course, had to document the situation. You’re welcome.

3) I am really good at shotgunning a beer (even though I am not supposed to have beer with gluten intolerance issues but I can never refuse a challenge).

Once again beating my cousin Tballs in the annual chugging contest. Classy, I know.

4) One of my favorite Nashville pastimes is honky tonkin’ on Broadway. Robert’s Western World is home of two of the best Nashville bands you can see for free – The Don Kelley Band and the Chris Casello Trio. At Robert’s there is never a cover charge, always a fun crowd and they even feature a Recession Special on the menu – a fried bologna sandwich, chips, a moon pie AND a Pabst Blue Ribbon for $5.

Dancing circles around my dad at Robert’s.

5) Lipstick is the last thing I apply before any show.

Applying the reddest red before a show at the 40 Watt club in Athens, Georgia.

Questions from my nominator, D-Anna:

1. What is your favorite clothing item?

Jeans. Typically tight, as my Gma likes to always point out.

2.  What one thing would make your life better?

A little bit larger mini-manse.

3.  What is your dream job?

Rockstar!

4. What is the quote that best resonates with you?

Treat people the way you want to be treated.

5. If you could steal one person’s style, who would it be?

Gwen Stefani

http://raaniyork.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/liebsterblog-1.jpeg
And now for my passing on the Liebs torch to five very deserving blogs. Drum roll, please….

the lady and the beard

tracy lee karner

misseychelles

celiac and allergy adventures

alyson on the run

The skinny of the rules: The person nominated must answer the 5 questions given by the person who nominated them AND tell 5 random facts about yourself. Then, nominate 5 blogs with under 200 followers, make sure to tell them you nominated them.  Ask the people you nominate 5 questions of your own.

Questions for the CBXB nominees:

1. What is your favorite color and why?

2.  What is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you?

3.  What is your dream job?

4. What is your favorite time of the day?

5. What is the first thing you would you do if you won the lottery?

And last but not least, don’t forget that it’s the last day to enter for this fabulous deer head!

Passin’ on the Liebster fever!

CBXB