Weekend Winks – ‘Tis the Season

Where's my Cousin Eddie?

Where’s Cousin Eddie when you need him?

Dirty Santa parties are fun. But they’re even more fun when played at work. With booze. Lots of booze.

Why party without booze?

Who would party without this? Who?!

In between Dirty Santa steals, I was honored to take part in my buddy Thing 1’s first ever selfie.

Selfie success!

Selfie success after 1,285 attempts.

Thing 1 fell so in love with the idea of selfies, he kept snapping pictures of us instead of others.

Still selfieing. Can't stop. Won't stop with the selfies.

Can’t stop. Won’t stop with the selfies.

And while we were in selfie heaven, virtual presents started rolling in for yours truly. My fellow cat lady Kimberly and her hubs found a perfect sized flask for all of my needs…

Wonder why they thought of me?

Wonder why they thought of me?

And this cute little starter kit keeps finding its way onto my Facebook page…Pete, Michelle, Mama CBXB and Aunt Crazy Pants have all seen these little faces and thought appropriate for me. Ted would like me to tell you to “go fuck yourself” (his words, not mine) as our hands are full with New Cat.

Purrrfect present for me.

Purrrfect present for me.

One of my besties, Princess Rosebud, (Enchanted Seashells herself!) snail mailed me a prezzie with the best gift tag ever…

And this is why I love her.

And this is why I love her.

My boss and his wife need to get to know me a little better because they gifted me this shit for Christmas…

I wish they knew me better.

Sparkly skull Uggs. I can now die happy.

Speaking of gifting, it was time to shell out my hard-earned $60 for prescription cat food (you know, low maintenance Ted has kitty Celiac’s disease) this weekend and New Cat acted like it was Christmas morning upon seeing the food bin full.

Heaven. See, Ted told you our hands were full with this pussy.

See, Ted told you our hands were full with this pussy.

Bowl full of food.

Bowl full of food but New New still feels the need to eat like a pig at a trough.

As my pussy was stuffing his tuxedo face, my sweet little Iowa niece Princess B was experiencing her first sugar cookie of the season.

Face full of cookie

Face full of cookie.

Meanwhile, her brother Prince B was more interested in climbing ladders.


Life father, like son.

You wanna know why Nashville is so fun? It’s still ‘small’ enough that you can be out and about and run into peeps you know…like old gal pals from previous jobs.

Iowa girls rock (and we know it).

Iowa girls rock (and we know it).

Speaking of gal pals, it was First Mate’s birthday which most definitely called for some sneaky surprise celebrating (isn’t that the best way?).

Happy birthday First Mate!

Have hats, will party.

Winding the weekend down called for some sexy CBXB lingerie. Being that it’s holiday time and I am in love with everything Griswold family, I slipped into the sexiest t-shirt I could locate…

Slipping into something ultra comfortable.

Yes, please save the neck for me, Clark.

Good thing this little guy could care less what I am wearing, just as long as he can lay on it.

Cuddle buddy

Christmastime cuddles.

Now go slip into something comfy and enjoy the rest of this holiday week.






The Wapatoolie

You know the old saying ,”the family that Wapatoolies together, stays together?”

Oh you’re not familiar? Allow me to explain…

Our first Wapatoolie.

My dad and me sharing our first Wapatoolie. How sweet.

Every summer, my family tends to meet up at the Lake of the Ozarks and act like misfits from the Griswold family.

Heathens at their finest.

Heathens at their finest.

It was at the Ozarks where yet another one of our classy family traditions (which also include Jell-O and moonshine shots) was born.  Allow me to introduce you to…

The Wapatoolie


Looking just as refreshing as lake water, I know.

According to family legend (which was told by my dad, who is known for streeeeeeeeetching out a story or two), the Wapatoolie was first introduced to him and his twin (yes, there is a replica of my father….a story for another day) while at a college party with the Wisconsin football team.

Blow Hard 1 and Blow Hard 2

Blow Hard 1 and Blow Hard 2 sharing the same farmer’s tan.

As the story goes, a party was unfolding where the two twins above were innocent bystanders.  With zero prodding, my dad boasted that he bravely took a shot of a Wapatoolie (ingredients consist of whatever the hell is in your bar at the time). Hand to Jesus, I swear I could see his chest puffing up with each oooh and ahhh he received from the Band of Griswold Misfits.

The story ended with a quote only a college football legend (again, a story for another day) could utter….”The Badgers started it but it took a Hawkeye to refine it.”

No shit.

Recipe for tastiness.

Definitely not from a college kid’s bar but a recipe for tastiness nonetheless.

Before the last syllable of the tall tale could be sputtered, us cousins were extremely busy at work mixing a Wapatoolie for the bullshitter storyteller.

Mix masters.

Mix Masters.

Down the hatch.

Tequila, bourbon, whiskey, white and spiced rum, margarita mix, vodka and gin topped with a dash of creamy Bailey’s…


Feels so good when it hits the lips.

The following evening, my cousins (all of whom are male on this side of the family, which probably just explained everything you needed to know) decided if their stud of an uncle could stomach a Wapatoolie, they could too.

The Village of Idiots and their leader.

The Village of Idiots and their leader.

The rest of us gleefully skipped to the bar to concoct the next round of poison potion.

Back to the mixing board.

Back to the mixing board.

Tough Guys...

Tough guys in the beginning…

Not so tough

….not so tough the first round…

or second round...first you don't succeed? Try, try again. Shoot, shoot again.

…or round two the following year…

And just like that, from one year to the next, the timeless, trashy tradition of the Wapatoolie was born.

Now, we extend the pleasure of this shot to anyone who dares to hang with our family…

Just get engaged to one of my male cousins?  A Wapatoolie for you!

First time to party with us at the Lake of the Ozarks?  A Wapatoolie for you!

Want to date my sister?  A Wapatoolie for you!

Think you can hang with us during football season?  A Wapatoolie for you!

Oh and for those of you who don’t drink liquor of any kind, we can mix a non-alcoholic version for you. Don’t worry.

Think you can hang with me and my dad?

So you wanna hang with us? You sure?

C'mon over to my bar and let me mix you a little something...

C’mon over to my bar and let me mix you a little something…


Your personal rite of passage into CBXB’s clan.

And if you’re too chicken shit, we understand and will be happy to cocktail with you anyway.

Until then...

Equal opportunity drinkers.

Just remember, the family that Wapatoolies together, stays together.