Happy Hallow-meowi!

This time of year has become bittersweet, as I am severely missing my Mr. Ted E. Bear , because I’m bat shit crazy enough to dress pussies up in costume. And we’d have been in costume today. In an ode to the fur baby that I may as well have birthed myself, here are a few of my past faves.

Since Tedstar was beyond high maintenance (just like his mama) he was immune to catnip – the magic in which I thought would work to ease him into costumes. Instead, turns out a sniff of wine worked just as fine (again with the birthing thing).

Ahh….relaxing vino.

We first got into the idea of Halloween costuming after seeing Ted’s cousin, Gunner, in a bee’s outfit.

I mean c’mon, doesn’t he look cozzzzzeee?

They immediately became twinsies much to Ted’s dismay.

FOR FUCKING REAL?

Even though the Bear didn’t last long enough for a night full of Halloween thrills, I was happy with the outcome.

Ted, not so much.

Buzzed out.

The following year, Teddy Krueger and I not only acquired a new mini manse but also a partner in crime for him – New Cat. The idea of wrapping my arms around two costumed cats didn’t seem like a huge feat until I tried.

Fuck you. Fuck these masks. Fuck being your cat.

Turns out, Ted was used to being the star of the show and I’m pretty sure he pushed New Cat out of the shot.

Only room for one star. Beat it.

As always, the Bear was right. We made such a dashing duo.

Tedstar shining bright.

The following year I was racking my brain as to what Baby Bear and I could be…and then, Miley Cyrus inappropriately grinded on Robin Thicke’s thighs at the MTV Video Music Awards. Voila!

My favorite Halloween photo ever was captured (mind you, this was a one handed selfie – yeah, I have MAD skills). Thank you for your slightly bananas year, Miley.

The photoshoot was one helluva shit show , as purrfecting this pic took 4,791 tries but it was waaaaaaay worth the outcome.

Our last Halloween together, we went as the ultimate Star Wars duo (or at least the duo of costumes I could find – mine was an XL dog’s outfit).

It’s too soon to tell which of my fabulous foursome of current pussies will come to my costume rescue next year.

But I doubt any of them will let me get as handsy as Ted did. While I miss him something terrible, the memories of Halloween’s past are making me smile.

We so would have been Neegan and Rick from The Walking Dead this year.

Rest in peace Baby Bear.

CBXB

 

 

 

Weekend Winks – Winos, Weirdos and The Walking Dead

For some, weekend work functions can really suck if you let them. However, the right mix of co-workers (that you’re lucky to also call friends) can make any event more tolerable…especially if the event revolves around any sort of libation. Like a wine festival.

Trashy, classy and a tad sassy mix.

Sandwiched between trashy and classy. #heaven

I mean, who wouldn’t be pumped to be stuck between two blondes who know how to act incredibly VIP-ish.

We. Are. Somebodys.

We. Are. Somebodys.

Or, maybe he has a point….

Can you just carry everything? Thanks.

Can you just carry everything? Thanks.

We hightailed it to my beloved Dalts just as soon as we could to carry on the out-of-office shenanigans much to the rest of the bar’s dismay.

What

She loves us.

We critiqued all 4,09,265 selfies taken over a three hour period.

Ew.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

And then took one more.

Trashy is easily rubbing off.

My trashtacularness seems to be rubbing off on The Golden Girl.

While I was working on my wino wind down, the Iowa twins were frolicking in all of the fun that fall has to offer.

Double the fall fun!

Traipsing through the leaf debris.

Halloween bake-off.

Baking Halloween treats with creative flair.

Starting their Christmas lists a little early this year.

And starting their Christmas lists a little early.

After rehydrating my liver with a bloody mary Saturday morning, I was prepped and ready for the Iowa Hawkeye football game kick-off at 11am.

I even made my blogfamous Pigskin Sushi.

I even made my blogfamous Pigskin Sushi.

It may not look pretty but pickles and ham taste mighty fine together. Since the inception of our trashtacular family tradition of touchdown shots, we have yet to go a game with no moonshine. However, we were sorely disappointed when our team not only lost but only made field goals.

Losing like we mean it.

We’re thirsty after a 17-9 defeat.

It

Poor, lonely shot glasses.

The remainder of the weekend required a lot of lounging with my pussies (Rocky would like you to know this was snapped from a bad angle).

David and Goliath. Or Arnold and Danny.

David and Goliath. Or Arnold and Danny. Or the difference between my g-string and bra size.

The snooty duo of Ted and Presh stuck side-by-side, warming my leopard couch up for the premiere of The Walking Dead (holy fuck!) and promptly left the area when my less than quiet reactions to what was happening on screen turned into screeching.

The duo.

Patiently waiting for the flesh eating zombies.

The show forced me to lift my one night ban on drinking due to the high anxiety the events of the episode caused yours truly.

I might have gone overboard.

I might have gone overboard…

In closing, many of you know my bestie Scooby, who makes often appearances on this blog (although he doesn’t read it, so his husband Mr. Scooby has to tell him when he appears). Scooby is the friend that holds your hair back when you puke (while laughing at the back of your head), rushes to your aid when bad shit happens to good people, and will stuff a body into a trunk for a laugh.

So it’s suffice to say we’re family. And this family member is about to go to Atlanta on a manhunt because Scooby was involved in a hit and run while he was walking at a crosswalk yesterday. HE WILL BE OK. But he had to scramble to the curb after the vehicle ran him over and then the car fled the fucking scene.

I'll cut a bitch.

I’ll cut a bitch.

While his multiple broken bones will require surgery, he’s going to be OK after this scariest of incidents. Please send him and his family all of the good juju you can muster while he’s traveling home to Kansas City to prep for surgery and recover.

I’m way the fuck over 2016.

CBXB

CBXB!

Weekend Winks – Girls Night Out

A wild girls night out in Nashville is the proper way to kick-off any weekend, isn’t it?

Bend it like Beckham a crazy dame.

Party boots? Check. Flask in purse? Check. A gaggle of girls? Check.

While already excited to get down with some fabulous ladies, I had an extra reason to celebrate Friday night. I received notice that my college loans were paid IN FULL! While I waited to no avail for balloons to drop from the ceiling in mad celebration, I was in a tad state of shock as I was sure I’d be paying off my education for the rest of my life.

Celebrate good times!

Oh yeah! Only took what felt like 100 years to complete.

So you can bet your ass I did some cocktailing before being escorted to our party bus.

What's GNO without a pre-party cocktail?

Sharing my excitement with you. You’re welcome.

Of course the evening was zero fun. Especially after we started off lightly with Jagermeister.

Nothing a little Jager can't cure

Taking it back college style. Classy, I know.

All of the libations turned me into a lean (kinda bloated from booze, really), mean (I couldn’t stop smiling, so technically a nice) dancing machine.

Automatic dance party.

Can someone please tell the bus driver to not hit any bumps?

And the party just didn’t seem to stop even after we were told to vacate the bus.

Such a good idea

I’m not leaving until this bottle is empty. Sorry. Not sorry.

With every intention of going to hot yoga on Saturday morning, Teddy kinda took over by demanding I stay in bed.

No yoga for you.

No yoga for you.

When I tried to sneak out of the coziness of snuggles, this was the look I was given…

Are you sure? I'm positive.

Leave and you will pay.

So while I was held captive in my own bed (oh the horror) rehydrating, the Iowa twins decided on careers in which they’ll be embarking.

Pianist

A concert pianist for my niece.

Dog whisperer

A dog whisperer for my nephew.

While my heart was bursting with pride over the two cuties’ productiveness, I forced my feet to hit the floor and took to doing household chores Saturday afternoon. With help from my furiend, of course.

Dishwasher extraordinaire.

Dishwasher extraordinaire.

And what to my wondering eyes did appear was a package from one of my fave bloggers, Princess Rosebud from Enchanted Seashells.

Fun in the snail mail!

Fun from snail mail!

Her hubs makes fabulous bracelets and I was lucky enough to receive one!

Bring it.

The green bead stands for wealth and prosperity. BRING IT.

I was also given a pre-Valentine’s Day gift (PVG) in the form of a t-shirt from Mama.

Duh.

I wish she knew me better.

The perfect ending to a party weekend?

Watching the mid-season premiere of The Walking Dead with one hand over my eyes.

Walking Dean wine time!

Walking Wine time!

I suggest watching this TV show in the light of day, not right before you wish to fall asleep (which must be why I’m bleary eyed this am).

Here’s hoping you have a fabulous week.

Cheers!

CBXB!

Weekend Winks – Bunny Style

I kicked the Easter weekend off with a dressed up Skinny Pirate – even busted out the Captain Morgan Private Stock (you know since it was a holiday weekend and all).

Skinny Pirate - holiday style.

Skinny Pirate – Peeped out in holiday style.

Keeping it low key while drinking our Friday cocktails, Ted and I did some spring sprucing around the house. I cleaned windows while he project managed, naturally.

Project Manager

You missed a spot. Uh, yeah thanks, Ted.

Ever the professional, my project manager checked out the quality of dryness as I laundered practically everything in my linen closet (a little behind on the laundry here in Nashville).

Dry kit cat

He took his job so seriously, he climbed in and took a nap on the warm sheets, while I sipped another SP.

I got a little more birthday loot (yes, I’m still talking about my birthday and no, I will never shut up about it).

Spoiled by friends

Spoiled by friends!

I also received a gift in the form of a pink glitter, bedazzled full bottle of Captain Morgan (think my friend knows me very well?).  This came compliments of my gal pal (and new favorite glitter artist), Tina.

Piece de Resistance

My very fabulous Piece de Resistance!

I was wondering what my mini me was up to (read about our shenanigans – click here) and instantaneously received a text with this picture. Why she’s prancing around her palace in the pink wig I sent to her, of course!

Mini Me

My mini me keeping it fabulous. Snap!

I sat Ted down and explained that his legions of fans expected a little something extra from him this weekend, therefore we needed to conduct a photo shoot.

Happiest bunny ever

Not amused.

After his three seconds of posing, the Easter star couldn’t have been more exhausted.

The star is exhausted

Ted spent the rest of the evening cemented to my lap, demanding belly rubs. DIVA!

On Easter, I woke up to a picture of the cutest two bunnies in my world…

First time Easter

My precious niece and nephew all dolled up for their Easter debut.

While Ted didn’t have an Easter bonnet to wear out to see his grandparents, I made sure he was all snuggled up for the ride.

My Snuggle Bunny

My Snuggle Bunny

A bundled up kit cat because it was such a dreary day outside. I wouldn’t want Mr. Bear catching the sniffles now would I?

Lovely

Our favorite bird’s nest awaited our arrival, compliments of Mama Bunny.

my fave

Rice Krispies + chocolate eggs = heaven.

Teddy looked in every nook and cranny to be sure he didn’t miss out on any of the Bunny’s deliveries.

Anything fur me?

Anything fur me?

Naturally Ted got bossy and insisted on helping steer while on the way home.

Pawesome driver.

Pawesome driver.

But his arms quickly got tired and he needed my help in keeping his head up (sounds like me after one too many cocktails).

Easter pooped

Eastered out.

We spent the rest of the evening sipping (well, if I’m being honest maybe I gulped) wine, eating Easter dinner left overs (thanks Mom!), catching up on our DVR watching the very un-religious, flesh-eating zombie show The Walking Dead season finale (I could hardly sleep a wink after viewing but the wine helped, of course).

zombie

Cheesy green beans, chocolate and wine go perfectly with zombies, right?

Cheers to a fabulous week – and watch out for those April Fool’s Day pranksters!

CBXB

CBXB!