Confessions of a Shopaholic

The fabulous Marisa from Wear Your Vitamins tagged me in Confessions of a Shopaholic, which is a fun little cyber game of tag.

So here we go…

Do you consider yourself a shopaholic?

Oh hells to tha yes! While I lack the dough to be a bona-fide shopaholic, I love digging for a bargain on sales racks, TJ Maxx, Target and mostly my favorite department store ever, Von Maur.

Shopping the sales rack success!

Success shopping the sales rack!

How would you classify your style?

Fuchsia. Sequins. Skulls. Leopard. Gaudy. Flamboyant. Rocker. Edgy. Jeans. Heels. Flashy, not trashy (although others would probably BEG to differ).

Girls night out attire.

Girls night out attire. Express jeans, $19.99. Target top, $17.99.

Juicy Couture collared striped shirt, $34.99. Skull and crossbones patch purchased at Michael's, $2.99. You don't have to be a sewing expert to adhere spice up your wardrobe. The patch shown is an iron on and takes less than five minutes to complete!

Juicy Couture collared striped shirt, $34.99. Skull and crossbones patch purchased at Michael’s, $2.99.

Who's afraid of a sequin pant? Not me!

Who’s afraid of a sequin pant? Not me! Express pant, $24.99.

Leopard 'n' Shine

Leopard print beneath clear sequins? Um, yes please! Target dress, $34.99.

What store can you not leave without buying something from?

Target. Hands down. Whether it’s shampoo, a greeting card, a Mossimo black tank (a staple in my wardrobe) or a banana. I rarely leave without a bag (which is really doing me a favor because I need plastic bags in order to scoop Ted’s litter pan. Two birds, one stone people!).

Where do you find your best deals?

Sales, sales, sales! Macy’s, Target, Von Maur, TJ Maxx, Dillards semi-annual shoe sale.

What designer are you willing to splurge on?

It’s a three-way between Alexander McQueen, Chanel and Louis Vuitton. McQ is all about the skulls baby (I feel like the designs were sometimes created with yours truly in mind – as if). I also crave the luxury and glamour of Chanel – and received a pair of booties from my fairy god mother earlier this year (read about it, click here). And Louis…oh Louis….I ran a marathon (yes a full fucking 26.2 miles) in a bet to obtain a Louis Vuitton purse (that saga will be posted another day).

In all of their black and white patent leather shine.

Caution: May cause an extreme strut.

Do you have a go-to shopping outfit?

Jeans. Always. In the winter, my kick-ass Coach motorcycle boots (waaaaay expensive but have worn approximately 268 days per year for the last five years. Worth it!). Summer time calls for Tory Burch flops (I scored at a deep discount shoe store).

In lieu of the old fashioned shit kickers, I've opted for "I think I can kick your ass" motorcycle boots.

My alternative shit kickers.

Look cute while side stepping the pig manure!

Tory Burch flip flops, $29.99.

What is your guilty pleasure?!

I’m a beauty product whore. I love trying new things – different colored lipsticks (love MAC pigments), eye shadows (Urban Decay is my fave brand), lip gloss (just found my new love that doubles as a lip stain as well as a gloss – LIP TAR), foundations (Too Faced BB Cream is my new fave and I adore Make Up For Ever HD foundation), nail polish (OPI, China Glaze are my faves)….this list could go on for days.

LIP TAR. 100% Vegan, cruelty free and one application lasts all day. Sephora,

LIP TAR. 100% vegan, cruelty free and one application lasts all day. Sold in sets or separately at Sephora.

hd foundation

Make Up For Ever HD foundation – complexion saver!

What is the one piece of clothing you can’t live without?

Jeans. Period.

Of course leopard jeans never hurt.

Of course leopard jeans never hurt.

Who is your style icon?

Gwen Stefani – love her L.A.M.B. line.

L.A.M.B. leather wrist watch purchased years ago at TJ Maxx for $89.99.

So there are my confessions. Guilty as charged!



The Deer Hunter, Sparkly Style

Being from Iowa, where deer might as well be counted in the state’s population and now residing in the gun happy, hunting hungry South, I felt the need to join my kinfolk (people seriously still use that word) to mount a deer head on my wall.

Now, I’m an avid animal lover (I feel badly when I see road kill and yell at people when they drive too fast through my neighborhood because we have chipmunks! Don’t run over a chipmunk for Christ’s sake! What would Alvin or Simon do without Theodore?). So there’s no way in hell I would ever hunt and shoot a deer (scarred from one terrifying incident as a 10 year old that involved me, my dad and a poor pheasant first with a head, then without), let alone eat Bambi, then stuff and mount, only to have its sad eyes follow me like a creepy, old, oil portrait painting in a haunted house.

My hunt was less painstaking as the real deal but just as time-consuming.  There was no camouflage to be worn, no tree stands to squeeze into and no 4am wake up time, however I couldn’t find my counterfeit piece anywhere. As deer season pressed on, I was left thinking I wouldn’t bag one (let alone three antlered bucks, which is the state limit in Tennessee) as I perused the flea market, scoured the shelves at local thrift shops and just knew someone’s grandkids donated a treasure of this magnitude to Goodwill upon their passing, only to end up with a lonely bit of wall space.

And then, I saw it.

Its pink sparkle catching my eye in the harsh fluorescent lighting.  I quietly crept toward the beautiful creature (so as not to alarm other shoppers of a fabulous find), inching my way up to the shelf, carefully moving the camouflage of a shiny picture frame, a bedazzled mug and glittery candles it hid behind.  And then BANG! My arm shot through the merchandise so fast, the deer didn’t know what had hit it before it landed at the bottom of my cart. Ladies and gentlemen, I had just bagged my first deer.

How much more fabulous is this than the real deal? Beyond in my book. And a lot less messy. Deer decor, $9.99. TJ Maxx.

I made my Iowa peers proud and staked my claim in the Southern soil, all with one hunting transaction. Plus, it’s one hell of a conversation piece, hanging above my toilet (I only wish I could hear the thoughts running through minds upon spotting it. I imagine they start something like “That crazy…”) as I display it like a trophy.

And that my friends, is how you bag a deer. Sparkly style.



Hangover Helper

Treating your body like a trash can is easy (and oh so fun) to do when the cocktails begin to flow.

But the next day, when I look at myself in the mirror and regret the 11th Skinny Pirate (if only I had added Diet Coke to the Captain Morgan), the entire pizza at 2am (that disappeared in 5 minutes), and wonder where in the hell I am (kidding! you can breathe again dad), I at least have one thing that brings a smile to my last night’s lipstick covered lips (or what’s left of it anyway).

The Hangover Helper. A little sparkle urging me to get back up on my fabulous feet (that still ache from those heels that were meant for sitting and looking pretty, not dancing on tables and almost breaking ankles).

This amazing rescue tool can hold up to 8 desperately needed doses of relief and fits into almost any purse I own. Discovered at TJ Maxx, $3.99.

Having this kit by my side on not-so-pretty mornings makes it easier to muster the energy it takes to to wash my face (which aged 20 days by not doing so last night, according to my mother) brush my teeth and wince when I see the hot mess looking back at me in the mirror.

Not only does my traveling medicine case look fashionable, it’s also a fantastic conversation starter. Like when it falls out onto the table my first day on my new job. While I winced and wondered if my new boss was regretting his most recent hire, he said to me, “That case rocks! I need to get one for my wife.”

Now who would have thought having a hang over kit at work could help you look like a shining star? Better go get your own – it could advance your career.