Weekends Winks – Parties, Pussies and Precious

Weekends are typically welcomed with opened paws at my mini manse but when it’s college football season, I wish the five working days would fly by faster than I can chug a Skinny Pirate.

We hate football. Obviously.

We hate football.
Obviously.

Coming as zero shock to anyone who remotely knows me, I accidentally lost my goddamned mind while perusing the Halloween aisles of Target (my mothership) slightly inebriated after a Friday evening at Dalts.  Being a celebration queen, I’m thinking of charging admission (one bottle of Captain per person) into my mini manse during the month of October.

Hello. I have a problem and it's called Halloween.

Hello. I have a problem and it’s called Halloween.

While I was busy with my spiked pumpkins, Prince B was prepping for a Hawkeye game against our in state rivals, the Iowa State Cyclones.

Hawkeyes

How could any team deny this face a W?

Princess B was more concerned with her fingernails than football.

My mini me.

Remind you of anyone?

Dada CBXB and I decided to go party with the Nashville Iowa Club downtown for the game watch and our decision proved to be a wise one.

Reserved for

Reserved for the two biggest Hawk fans in Tennessee.

This club didn't know what was about to it them...

This club didn’t know what was about to it them

Joined by Camo and my gal pal Bird Lady, we enjoyed our traditional touchdown shot after every seven points was put on the scoreboard by our fellas in black and gold.

Shot one!

Shot one!

Shot two...

Shot two!

Somewhere in between three and four....

Somewhere in between three and four….

Watching the game with 170 of our closest Hawkeye friends was everything I wanted it to be and more – mostly due to the fact that the boisterous crowd cheered like our team had just won the Super Bowl – no matter if we’d just scored or just earned a first down.

Hawks win! Hawks win!

Hawks win! Hawks win!

With a victorious 31-17 score and our bellies bloated with moonshine, the entire crowd joined in for a rendition of the “Hawkeye Victory Polka” (which probably gives you an idea why my liver is still thriving as my alma mater sings this song during games as frequently as our fight song).

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In a more poignant moment, the Hawkeyes paid tribute to former player (and former New York Giant), Tyler Sash, who suddenly passed away last week at just 27 years old by wearing his number on their helmets.

A nice win in tribute of Tyler Sash.

RIP #9

Cuddling up on the couch seemed like the best Saturday night idea of all time until I realized that Precious the chug smelled like a sewage container.

Stank ass.

Such a stank ass little pig pen, Ted couldn’t even face her.

So we remedied the problem much to her dismay.

Presh isn't so sure about being so fresh and so clean clean.

Presh isn’t so sure about being so fresh and so clean clean.

Because Mr. Bear is still in recovery from his month long debacle with illness, Clark and Cousin Eddie are spending some quality time with Dada CBXB and love being the stars of his show.

Griswold twins hanging at Gpa's pad.

Griswold twins hanging at Gpa’s pad.

The human twins didn’t want to just hang on Sunday because they were anxiously watching the construction of all things fun in their backyard…

Anticipation o

Worth the wait!

I can’t wait to dominate play time on this bitch.

Seeing photos of swings made me dizzy on Sunday but that didn’t stop me from going on a hot brunch date…

…with my cat….

…on my couch…

….who proceeded to eat the other side of my sandwich.

Taking crazy to an entirely new level.

Taking crazy to an entirely new level.

Judge away.

CBXB!

Easter Eggstravaganza!

Oh the Easter bunny will be hopping all over the planet this weekend and I can’t wait to drink one too many Skinny Pirates and pass out before he burrows his way into my mini manse Saturday night.

Eggs, Captain and a cat shirt.. A heavenly Easter for me.

Eggs, Captain and a cat shirt…
A heavenly Easter for me.

In past years, Easter consisted of the bunny dropping off Underoos, with my sister and I traipsing through the house like manias scaring nothing but the camera.

Easters

Tough bunnies.

As we got older, celebrations consisted of egg hunts with cousins, battling for treasures scattered in the yard careful not to knock over the four year old among us (well, I don’t know if we were careful about it but he remained standing).

Who needs a basket when you got plastic?

Who needs a basket when you got plastic?

Traditions have long remained in the family and we’ve had the same baskets since our first Easters (I know, I know. My basket is not the pink one. No clue what in the fuck the bunny was thinking).

Two

Two kids, two antique baskets.

What would a family tradition be here at CBXB without a little sneaky trashiness?  You see, this man loathes the fake grass used in baskets.

Grass hater.

Grass hater.

Since Dada CBXB whined, cried and carried on one year about how the ‘damn grass’ gets all over the house, I’ve been more than happy to always hide it in the most unsuspecting places. Under his pillow, in his shoes and last year, the shower.

Shower surprise.

This grass needs cleaned.

What’s not to love about little skinny pieces of plastic that can be found in couch crevices, door hinges, car mats, toilet seats, dryer vents and bathroom drains all 365 days until next Easter?

Easter grass. The gift that keeps on giving the whole year through.

Easter grass.
The gift that keeps on giving the whole year through.

Now that we have twin baby bunnies in the mix, I’ve spent Easter in a new way since we can’t always get together being 1,000 miles apart.

basket hoarders

Totally not excited to see the bunny.

Presently, I get to double fist baskets all day long.

Double

Who has my Skinny Pirate?

One for me and one for my pussy. (You didn’t think I was getting greedy did you? And yes, you New Cat lovers, he gets a basket too but is such a big, fat baby that he hides whenever there is any kind of commotion going on, OK?)

Easter King.

King Ted.

Whatever your Easter traditions may be, here’s hoping the day is filled with glee!

Cheers!

CBXB

 

My Ghosts of Christmases Past

How different would Christmas be if I wasn’t surrounded by family?

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Opening packages would be such a bore,

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If I wasn’t encircled by cousins galore.

Christmas chaos.

A lonely gal Christmas sock affair,

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Instead of hanging stockings by the chimney with double the care.

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All dressed up with nowhere to go,

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Instead of trying to be one of the stars of the show.

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Christmas pageants with one can be so annoying,

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But with two, the show is much more enjoying.

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Lonely lonely would Christmas celebrating be,

Without the decades of fun with family.

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From past to present with futures near,

Hold those who are dear with your heart full of cheer,

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Because you never know when they may not be here.

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

CBXB

CBXB!