Nashville’s 90210 St. Patio Party

Remember this piece of shit umbrella that helped add ambiance to the 90210 neighborhood of Nashville in which I reside? If not, do yourself a favor and click here to read about it.

Remember this piece of shit umbrella?

The once khaki, now a nice shade of mold green umbrella.

After reading about my contribution to trashiness last week, my dad decided to give me a pre-birthday gift (PBGs are THE BEST, as I celebrate my upcoming birthday the entire month of March) in the form of a little patio makeover (my dad initially helped me complete my patio wing, which took an entire year to complete – read about the loooooong process here) on St. Patty’s Day.

First, “we” started by blowing the ugly out of the yard (I contributed by snapping pics).

Leprechaun Lawn

Leprechaun lawn boy.

Then to spruce up the corner of my sidewalk, “we” prepped the area for a trio of daffodils.

dig dig dig dig dig

Dig faster!

Spring has sprung in my corner of Nashville

Spring has sprung in my tiny corner of Nashville.

I served as the Project Manager as my folks worked on filling the umbrella base with sand.

I served as the Project Manager. Jewels, not tools.

Remember my nails are jewels, not tools. Therefore I was forced to drink my cocktail instead of touch sand.

Blonde moment 4,325 – did you know that by putting sand in the umbrella base you can avert disasters like this? Me either.

Making it hard to stay classy

Maybe sand would have prolonged the short life of my previous umbrella….oops.

Blonde moment 4,326 – did you know that when you put sand in this contraption, you put it in the smaller opening? Me either.

Blonde Moment 4,326

The large hole is for the umbrella…

While I was having all kinds of light bulbs go off in my blonde brain outside, Ted was desperately seeking attention trying to claw his way through my storm door.



When I went to fawn all over him, this is what I was welcomed by…

Ruined rug

A ruined rug.

And as I went to capture his ‘guilty’ mug, this is what I got…

When I came in to scold, this is all I got.

A tongue in my face. THE NERVE.

But I’ll take a ruined rug for a spruced up party wing!

It's red, NOT orange!

I wonder if this will look like Christmas decor when I start growing mold on it with my green thumbs?

And as we did the year before, we christened the patio with cocktails (duh, how else do would I do it?).

All of the last year's

All of the last year’s hard work commenced with vodka lemonades…

St. Patio Party!

And this year we clinked our glasses with Irish green dream drinks during our St. Patio Party.

Making the ‘hood a tad classier with my spruced up party patio back in action due to my PBG (can you tell I hate my birthday?).

Neighbors, you’re welcome.



How to Trash Up the 90210 of Nashville

What’s in a zip code? Everything (especially for shallow folks like me).

Since moving to Nashville, I longed to claim residence on the posh West side.  After searching for a place to call home a few years ago on a very strict budget, I fell in love with a little duplex in the highly coveted area.  And the two top selling points – the fancy zip code and the fact that it was two miles away from my own personal Cheers (that delivers food to my front door, might I add) – a classy lady like yours truly has standards, you know.  So in a leap of faith and in hopes with my fingers, toes and legs crossed that I could always make rent, I went for it.

Now I currently live in the 90210 of Nashville. Oh, snap!

How does one live only a few miles away from this house and keep it classy?

Share the same zip...not the same lifestyle.

Share the same zip…not the same lifestyle.

Well, I don’t. There’s not much class (not surprised are you?) in my neck of the ‘hood (which is more Skid Row than Beverly Hills – but I STILL HAVE THAT DAMN ZIP CODE!) Especially with the help of my neighbor.

When you pull into my drive and park your vehicle, this is the view of my neighbor’s gorgeous shed that might literally blow down if someone came by and huffed and puffed.

The beautifully rusted shed, damaged in a flood three years ago.

The beautifully rusted shed, damaged in a flood three years ago.

My neighbor can also grow mushrooms (that stand out like eye sores next to our crew a few miles over with their pristine yards) in our lawn like he’s Papa Smurf.

I tried to spruce up our joint yard by adding an outside porch wing to my mini manse. Click here to read about the building ordeal.

Wing'd up in class

Kinda classy, right?

blah blah

90210 cocktails – in trashy attire.

And after all of my efforts, this happened….

bly bly

Gone with the wind, not so fabulous.

blah blah

A Nashville 90210 nightmare.

And then another storm blew through, further trashing up the joint…

Making it hard to stay classy

Mother nature could give an F what zip code this umbrella resides in.

And now, I’m adding to the lovely trashiness with my now ultra unfabulous umbrella.

Damaged Goods

Damaged goods.

I’ve even managed to grow mold with my green thumb on top of my snazzy shade protector.

Managed to grow mold with my green thumb

Green with envy, are you?

But nothing quite tops what I came home to yesterday (on my neighbor’s side of the yard, FYI). A couch. In case you get tired while you’re driving by and want to stop, lay down and take a nap.  Hell, I might even bring out a Skinny Pirate for you.

blah blah blah

Naps for sale.

Keepin’ it classy in the 90210 of Nashville ‘hood. Someone’s gotta do it.