How to Pop Someone’s Strawberry Cherry

It’s no secret that I love cocktails (if you regularly read this blog you probably just thought ‘no shit’ – if you’re new (welcome!), I have rum running through my veins. Yes, I’m a walking miracle).

Once in a while I cheat (rarely) on the ever reliable Captain with a strawberry martini from The Cheesecake Factory (you just go there for the cheesecake? Silly you!). Before you turn your nose up thinking I drink like a sorority sister, please know that this oh so delicious cocktail contains straight vodka, fresh strawberry juice (they muddle the berries when ordered – so I’m the bartender’s worst nightmare because you know I don’t just have one) and a squeeze of lemon.  So basically it’s a glass of vodka (which is why I love it so).

I was out for PBDs (pre-birthday drinks – like I’ve said before, I celebrate ALL month) with my gal pal G when she confessed she’d never had the famous (in my world) ‘tini. The horror! What kind of friend am I to let this fabulous girl go so long without this heavenly cocktail?  We immediately ordered a round.

First...

Prepping for the de-virginization.

And while we were only going to have one, once this concoction hits your lips it’s over.

heaven

Two just won’t do.

So we had another….

Second...

Yep, we asked the waitress to snap another pic. No shame.

And then another, turning our quick cocktail into a bottomless happy hour.

thirds

A virgin no more.

Surprisingly we accidentally got tipsy (which I do all the time – read more about that here)…but a little liquor never hurt for one’s first time, right?

CBXB

CBXB!

Nashville’s 90210 St. Patio Party

Remember this piece of shit umbrella that helped add ambiance to the 90210 neighborhood of Nashville in which I reside? If not, do yourself a favor and click here to read about it.

Remember this piece of shit umbrella?

The once khaki, now a nice shade of mold green umbrella.

After reading about my contribution to trashiness last week, my dad decided to give me a pre-birthday gift (PBGs are THE BEST, as I celebrate my upcoming birthday the entire month of March) in the form of a little patio makeover (my dad initially helped me complete my patio wing, which took an entire year to complete – read about the loooooong process here) on St. Patty’s Day.

First, “we” started by blowing the ugly out of the yard (I contributed by snapping pics).

Leprechaun Lawn

Leprechaun lawn boy.

Then to spruce up the corner of my sidewalk, “we” prepped the area for a trio of daffodils.

dig dig dig dig dig

Dig faster!

Spring has sprung in my corner of Nashville

Spring has sprung in my tiny corner of Nashville.

I served as the Project Manager as my folks worked on filling the umbrella base with sand.

I served as the Project Manager. Jewels, not tools.

Remember my nails are jewels, not tools. Therefore I was forced to drink my cocktail instead of touch sand.

Blonde moment 4,325 – did you know that by putting sand in the umbrella base you can avert disasters like this? Me either.

Making it hard to stay classy

Maybe sand would have prolonged the short life of my previous umbrella….oops.

Blonde moment 4,326 – did you know that when you put sand in this contraption, you put it in the smaller opening? Me either.

Blonde Moment 4,326

The large hole is for the umbrella…

While I was having all kinds of light bulbs go off in my blonde brain outside, Ted was desperately seeking attention trying to claw his way through my storm door.

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LET. ME. OUT.

When I went to fawn all over him, this is what I was welcomed by…

Ruined rug

A ruined rug.

And as I went to capture his ‘guilty’ mug, this is what I got…

When I came in to scold, this is all I got.

A tongue in my face. THE NERVE.

But I’ll take a ruined rug for a spruced up party wing!

It's red, NOT orange!

I wonder if this will look like Christmas decor when I start growing mold on it with my green thumbs?

And as we did the year before, we christened the patio with cocktails (duh, how else do would I do it?).

All of the last year's

All of the last year’s hard work commenced with vodka lemonades…

St. Patio Party!

And this year we clinked our glasses with Irish green dream drinks during our St. Patio Party.

Making the ‘hood a tad classier with my spruced up party patio back in action due to my PBG (can you tell I hate my birthday?).

Neighbors, you’re welcome.

CBXB

CBXB!

Weekend Winks – Liquor Style

Captain, gin, vodka, oh my!

What would a Nashville Friday be without a Skinny Pirate keeping me company?

Kickin' it off with Skinny Pirates

Kickin’ the weekend off with Captain.

After a few rounds on the patio, I moved inside and spread my liquor lovin’ wings to a cucumber gin martini, which turned out to be ultra tasty.

Who knew I liked gin? I live on the edge.

Who knew I liked gin? I live on the edge.

I greeted Saturday am with an adorable picture from my nephew in Iowa. He’s just crazy about this blog.

Supporting his Auntie CBXB!

Supporting his Auntie CBXB!

My gal Coco spotted this clutch at a local Nashville boutique, Fire Finch. A little Alexander McQueenish, a little CBXB – but still $72 and out of my budget.

Alexander McQueenish clutch my friend snapped.

Diamonds and skulls are a girl’s best friend!

Ted spent the entire weekend enjoying the spring weather.

How much is that kitty in the window?

How much is that kitty in the window?

So much so, that he tried to break free from his ‘prison’ by busting through the screen.

Trying to break outside

Not so clever kitty.

I slipped on my pot-o-gold shoes and headed to the movies Saturday night.

Put on my leprechaun shoes and headed to the movies.

Of course I did a little bar tending inside the theater…cocktails make movie going so much more fun!

Sneaking

Sneaky leprechaun.

Still thirsty after having to share my movie cocktail, we headed to get a nightcap at the Cheesecake Factory, where I always order the heavenly strawberry martini.

After movie cocktails...

Is this heaven? No, it’s vodka.

St. Patty’s Day called for dazzling up my Glamingo in traditional Irish threads (and yes, I realize I’m a grown ass woman dressing a flamingo…nothing I can really say to this except that Teddy was thrilled to be relieved of holiday dress up duty this year).

Glamingo all glammed up

Beach bird blessed with Irish luck.

A hike in the park proved no leprechaun sightings.

Looking for Leprauchans..!

On the hunt for my pot of gold.

Parched after my 6 mile jaunt, I quenched my thirst with a green dream.

Green...

Trio of cheers!

Ted’s Uncle Elvis came in for a play date – and immediately took over Mr. Bear’s perch in the bathroom.

Elvis

Color coordinating with zebra print.

My mom brought in a pre-birthday gift (PBG) to commence my celebration that I like to drag out the entire month of March.

A little pre-birthday gifts...kick starting my

Party time!

The cats could have cared less about one another once tissue from my gifts hit the floor.

More interested in the crinkly tissue than one another

Who cares about the other cat when there’s crinkly tissue?

We took our green party cocktails to the patio, enjoying the last bit of weather and weekend.

Keeping the party going outside.

After all of the hoopla, Teddy spent the rest of his Sunday like this….

Pooped pussy.

Pooped pussy.

And I did too!

CBXB

CBXB!

Weekend Winks

A fun Friday night out to see the Nashville Predators take on the Vancouver Canuks.

First mate and fang fingers

First Mate and I hanging at the arena bar (I mean, where else would we meet?)!

To keep the cost of drinks down (arena prices are $7 for a single, $14 for a double and you all know what I’d order), I stash my own flask and become a very germaphobe bar tender in a bathroom stall.

Don't tell I'm up to no good.

Up to no good.

The toilet paper dispenser acts as my bar, I stuff the lid in my mouth (to keep germs at bay) and pour out half of the Sprite (it was a vodka night) in the toilet (being sure to keep the cup three feet above the seat).

Classy bathroom bar.

Classy bathroom bar with an even classier bar tender.

I have a thing for mascots. I mean a crazy lady thing (which won’t come as a surprise when I tell you that the Preds mascot is a giant cat).  Here’s my boyfriend, Gnash making his appearance, repelling down from the ceiling.

My boyfriend, Gnash

He’s such a stud.

With great seats and a vodka filled cup, fun times were had although the Preds lost 1-0.

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Even Carrie Underwood’s pretty husband (yes, he’s pretty, not handsome) couldn’t help the team score.

Even Carrie Underwood's pretty hubs couldn't help.

But Mike Fisher was fun to oogle over anyhow.

Being the fashion diva I think I am, what about this ensemble…backpack, knee-length (which look good on…who?) Mom shorts and sneakers with no socks?

Enough to drive me to drink! So I did.

Upon leaving the game and heading toward the honky tonks, this gentleman kindly reminded the crowd that if you don’t live a clean life, you’ll go to hell.

In case you were wondering

In case you were wondering…

Where do you think I’ll go?

Heaven or Hell?

Heaven or Hell?

Once again at Robert’s Western World (for the second time in two days…think the band members are pretty sure I’m stalking them), The Don Kelley Band   played my favorite dancing song – only this time I didn’t have to dance alone (read all about it here).

This time around, my dancing skills scored me a crisp $100 bill.

Tip money!

OK, really someone’s friend wanted to buy us a round but gave me the dough, so I pretended it was a tip. (A girl can dream about her dancing skills!)

The overload of cocktail money caused me to pull double duty on the drinks.

Art of double fisting. Classy!

Art of the double fist.

Due to the amounts of liquor consumed, Friday was a late night and Teddy was a little bitch on Saturday because I’d interrupted his beauty sleep at 2am.

Not a happy camper.

Not a happy camper.

As I was gearing up for my Saturday evening events, I chose some new kicks to debut.  Only thing is they creaked with every single step I took.

WD40 please

Is there a WD-40 for boots?

A quick happy hour with gal pals to commence my Saturday festivities.

Friends and cocktails good way to begin Saturday evening

Another round please!

Seeing my very favorite bar tender – who pours Skinny Pirates perfectly (he’s actually the one who nailed the concoction all those years ago at Dalts. Sigh).

Favorite bartender

Think he makes house calls?

Making the switch from my Captain to red wine, as I celebrated a birthday at a swanky little Nashville Italian joint.

blah

When in Rome….

On Sunday, I excitedly anticipated the Academy Awards while Teddy was still in recovery from my late weekend nights.

Image

My Oscar evening included champagne and pretty pink (what else would you expect?) frosted cupcakes.

Fancy cupcake for the fancy evening.

Fancy cupcake for the fancy evening.

Teddy got a second wind and insisted on sitting in the front row for the actual awards broadcast.

my oscar view

My Oscar view.

And I’m happily starting Monday off in this fabulous, bedazzled skull studded tank my gal Tina gifted me this weekend (think she knows me very well?).

Stargin Monday off bedazzled in my new threads from my girlie, Tina.

Kickin’ ass and takin’ names today!

Here’s hoping you do the same.

CBXB

CBXB!

How to Get Drunk on Grapes

Cold winter nights have you guzzling your favorite wine, nestled under a blanket on the couch with your cat within arm’s reach? (Oh wait that’s me – but you could insert a dog, goldfish, pet bird or I guess even a kid).

Frozen, sugar coated vodka grapes will be just the surprise you need, as you fill with sadness at the last gulp of wine in your glass, finding an alcoholic treat awaiting your taste buds.

a little sweetness

The perfect companion for the wino.

Step One:  Start by putting the fruit in a large bowl – poking a hole (or three to be sure to soak in every ounce of vodka possible) in each grape.

Poke holes in the grapes

Step Two: Pour vodka over the batch of grapes.

My favorite part

Step Three: Cover and put in the fridge over night.

Put in the fridge over night

Step Four: Pour the remaining vodka out of the bowl and cover grapes with sugar.  Put in a large baggie and freeze for at least three hours.

sugar coma

Step Five: Put in desired serving dish.

blah

Step Six (optional): Making it easier to construct a grape kabob for my wine glass, I inserted long, sparkly toothpicks into the serving dish.  You can skip this step entirely and just dump a few grapes into your chosen choice of vino (but of course I like pretty).

blah

Mission accomplished!

And here’s a blonde moment from yours truly:

I felt awful wasting the vodka I poured out of the bowl once the grapes had chilled over night. With my typically useful brain (which at this moment was the size of a bird’s), I thought it would be genius to make vodka ice cubes!

These are super easy to make, too. Just pour vodka in cube trays, insert into the ice chest and wait for hell to freeze over (you would think that with all of my cocktailing experience, I would have the where-with-all to recognize the sheer stupidity of this exercise as alcohol never freezes. Ever. I even glanced at the bottle of Jaeger I had next to these f’ing trays as I slid them into the freezer).

Dumb ass

Needless to say, the ‘ice cubes’ came out of the freezer the same way they went in.

Caution to recipe makers – don’t eat the vodka grapes while preparing or you may end up looking like an ass in front of yourself.

Cheers!

CBXB

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