Weekend Winks – Spanked

Losers Lane

Caution: losers ahead.

Friday started out simply fabulous with a chili cook-off at work. Being that I’m not much of a kitchen connoisseur, I opted to be a judge.

Chili

Eeny, meeny, miny….

Afterward it was time to go and prep for my dad’s birthday with assistance from my favorite pussy, of course.

Dad's birthday

What fun would wrapping be without a big fur ball in the way?

Meanwhile in Iowa, my twins were busy making their very first homemade pizza.

Pizza. Pizza.

Perfectly placing the sauce for Prince B.

Just. can't. wait.

While Princess B just. couldn’t. wait.

And the reactions to the ooey gooey goodness were cheesier than the cheese on their pizzas.

Cheeser.

Happy pizza lover.

Not only was Saturday my dad’s birthday, it was also an Iowa Hawkeye game day.Β  My dad was so excited, he grew black and yellow hair overnight.

Jazz hands for celebrating and football

Two events in one day calls for jazz hands.

Birthday bonanza

Birthday bonanza spread.

Being that my Hawks won big last week, I expected no less this week as Iowa scored first and we happily stuck to our moonshine touchdown tradition.

Shot #1 was the only one done.

Who knew we’d basically be one and done?

Little did we know, those seven points would be the only time Iowa would touch the scoreboard until the end very of the game. So to make things more interesting while watching our team get spanked, we celebrated a birthday…

Stud's birthday

Double fisting gifts.

….we stuffed our faces with my dad’s self proclaimed “best batch of ribs ever”….

Best batch ever.

They tasted as good as they looked.

… I whipped out the Whopper pie I make every year in honor of Dad growing one year older…

One whopper of an annual pie.

My mix and freeze with ease pie.

… and we did sympathy/birthday/just because shots, as losing a game as badly as we did (14-51) to a mediocre team at best is no fun sober.

Sympathy shots

Another round of ‘shine, please!

While no sports fan wants to see their team to get their own asses handed to them, at least we were having some fun.

Loser Labe

Laughing losers.

Here’s hoping your week is off to a more winning start than mine.

Cheers!

CBXB

CBXB!

How to Make One Whopper of a Pie

Applause

Wouldn’t this be fun to throw in someone’s face? Come a little closer, please.

No good at following recipes?

Don’t know how to turn your oven on?

Here’s a quick, easy, no bake pie to put your mad kitchen skills to work and impress folks with a Whopper Pie.

whopper

Impressive, yes?

You need a whopping four ingredients to concoct this masterpiece.

whoppers

  • One store-bought graham cracker crust
  • One carton of whipped cream
  • 1/2 carton of vanilla ice cream
  • 2 boxes of Whoppers

Start by putting all but about 20 Whoppers into a ziploc bag and crush.

beat

Ball bustin’.

I happen to have some sort of kitchen tool that mimics a hammer (I don’t know how in the hell it ended up in my utensil drawer but weirder things have happened…I think).

smooth

If you have one of these things, be sure you use the smooth side.

Nope

Not the prickly side. Trust me.

In a bowl, combine 1/2 of the carton of ice cream and the entire tub of whipped cream. Stir until smooth (took me and my tiny muscles about one minute to accomplish this).

mix

Add the crushed Whoppers to the creamy mix and stir until well combined.

Heaven

Pour your masterpiece into the graham cracker crust (and squeal with delight when you realize you’ll have left over ice cream mix).

Pour

Be sure to save the empty whipped cream carton so you have somewhere to store the left over whipped Whopper ice cream you just made.

Save some for you!

Again, trust me. You want to do this.

Top the pie with the remaining Whoppers, carefully walk (I speak from experience) to your freezer and let sit for about two hours before serving.

Tah Dah!

Tah Dah!

Then of course, reap all of the accolades thrown your way once you present the Whopper Pie.

PARTY HIT

I slaved over this pie. For 13 minutes.

Be the hit of your next gathering for about $8.00.

A big whopper of a welcome to you!

CBXB

CBXB!