How to be a Bad Best Friend (and Husband)

Ah, best friends.

Always around, never letting you keep anything bad down.

Ah....besties.

I’d just eaten rotten buffet shrimp. I swear.

Besties are always there to help you with bad hair.

Nice 'do.

Stick to your day job Scooby.

My mean gay bestie delights in bringing up just how far we go back.

We've known each other HOW long?

Memories painful due to time passed.

But I draw the line when a best friend doesn’t know how to properly spell my birth name.

There's NO MOTHERFUCKING H.

There’s NO MOTHERFUCKING H in my Megan.

So when it came time to paybacks going out when my gay bestie was in town, I made sure Scooby was primed and ready with wine…

Day drink.

Day drink #1.

And then beer….

And drink.

Day drink #2.

Topped with flavored moonshine.

And drink more...

Day drink #3.

By the time we got to the bar, Scooby’s world was spinning faster than a tilt-a-whirl and I kindly offered to take the lightweight back home.

This is your body on wine, beer and moonshine.

This is your body on wine, beer and moonshine.

But never fear! Gay best friend’s husband was near!

Hotter than a speeding bullet,

Hotter than a speeding bullet, Mr. Scooby zoomed in knowing just what to do.

Mr. Scooby directed his husband out the front door and into my parked vehicle, where he secured drunky into the front passenger side seat as he pretended to drive by moving his hands back and forth on the steering wheel, knowing Scooby would fall fast asleep.

No one will notice, right?

No one will notice a passed out gay guy, right?

Right.

Right.

Turns out Mr. Scooby and I are such extremely caring, thoughtful, kind souls that not only did we partake in martinis galore…

Cheers!

Don’t worry. We locked Scooby in.

… we decided to take the party four blocks down the road to a dance floor.

Scooby who?

Scooby who?

The club got so hot, I made Mr. Scooby take his shirt off and then I made an impromptu push up bra to compete with his pecks.

I got so hot, I made Kevin

Even if you’re straight, you can’t hep but appreciate!

And when my feet hurt enough to take my heels off, we went to check on our sleeping beauty who had moved down the seat about four feet.

Safely strapped in.

Safely strapped in.

Makes you think twice about misspelling my name doesn’t it?

Best. Friend. Ever.

CBXB

CBXB!

 

 

21 thoughts on “How to be a Bad Best Friend (and Husband)

  1. Gotta be done! I’m the same with my gay bestie

  2. Danny says:

    LMAO!!!! I love it!!!! It’s the thought that counts! Ps – I like your new blog. Signed, TXCO

  3. There are not enough words in the English language to fully express how much I ❤️this post!!!!! You & your GBFs need to roadtrip to Boston!!!!

  4. markbialczak says:

    You know how to pick ’em Megan. Never ever going to misspell Megan, Megan. See you later Megan. Love you, Megan. Bye, Megan. 🙂

  5. kellisamson says:

    I always love stories about Scooby and Mr. Scooby! And…I’ve missed you! Glad to see you! xo

  6. Phil Lanoue says:

    Oh wow, my head is spinning just reading this.
    I’ll make a point to always carefully proofread all communications sent to you. Ah but where’s the fun in that?!

  7. JMC813 says:

    Wow. Spelling Snafu for sure. Megan huh? Just where does the H come from? There is also no H in CBXB. There IS however an H in Jazz Hands!!!! LOL.

  8. SerachShiro says:

    Hahaha …………:) you did a good job and whatever best friends are forever ! Compliments to all the lovely pictures, Scooby has a marvellous body and you are so fun 🙂 !!

  9. […] bestie Scooby flew me into Des Moines to surprise his hubs, Mr. Scooby for his birthday. This trip also served as a way for Scooby and myself to get shit faced at the […]

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